What's the point of online dating if you never actually meet?

[lamaga]

So, I have been texting with this guy from a dating app for a while. He is generally not my type, but I am trying to date outside my usual patterns, because, you never know what you may be missing...

I was in a relationship with a similar type a few years back but it didn't really work. Sporty, muscular type who plays team sports, kinda Jock-y.

But this one talks eloquently and it looks we are getting along with an interesting dynamic. So we sort of hit it off texting back and forth on the app, later moved on to exchange numbers and text normally.

 

He told me that he doesn't usually meet people off of dating apps, as he had some bad experiences, and mainly uses it out of boredom (says he had 2 dates in 3 years). So he said he is reluctant to meet. What does that even mean?

He still writes me and sends pics and funny things, asks me about myself, etc. makes me compliments.

 

I was thinking, maybe he has a girlfriend...But I kinda ruled that out by now, given from some things he said. I think he may be surprised we sort of click.

 

So confused. What's the point if you never meet?

[Sunkissedpatio]

Catfish or already attached.

 

It means drop him like it's hot!

[Gaeta]

Time waster.

 

He is in a relationship.

[Mrin]

Verdict: delete and block

 

Why:

1. He's a time waster

2. He's in a relationship

3. He's not who he says he is

4. He just wants a pen pal

5. Any dude on a dating app that isn't interested in dating is a waste of time

 

Delete and block today.

[lamaga]

Interesting replies.

So you really think he's attached?

Mh... we exchanged instagrams and also have a mutual friend. I doubt that he pretends to be someone he is not.

But yeah, maybe it is true and he actually has a girlfriend.

That sucks.

 

I guess I can just ask my friend if he has a gf?

[TheTraveler]

He's with someone else.

[lamaga]

He's with someone else.

 

I do like him. Should I try to find out if he has a girlfriend or leave it be?

[Larryville]

I do like him. Should I try to find out if he has a girlfriend or leave it be?

 

Some folks just refuse to take good, solid and FREE advice.

[kendahke]

So, I have been texting with this guy from a dating app for a while. He is generally not my type, but I am trying to date outside my usual patterns, because, you never know what you may be missing...

I was in a relationship with a similar type a few years back but it didn't really work. Sporty, muscular type who plays team sports, kinda Jock-y.

But this one talks eloquently and it looks we are getting along with an interesting dynamic. So we sort of hit it off texting back and forth on the app, later moved on to exchange numbers and text normally.

 

He told me that he doesn't usually meet people off of dating apps, as he had some bad experiences, and mainly uses it out of boredom (says he had 2 dates in 3 years). So he said he is reluctant to meet. What does that even mean?

He still writes me and sends pics and funny things, asks me about myself, etc. makes me compliments.

 

I was thinking, maybe he has a girlfriend...But I kinda ruled that out by now, given from some things he said. I think he may be surprised we sort of click.

 

So confused. What's the point if you never meet?

 

Yeah... I put a stop to protracted texting adventures. It's a waste of my time especially if I'm on a dating site to date. If he won't meet up within the week, I block and move on.

 

IME, it's the M.O. of scammers to not want to meet and to text constantly. That and the clear unfamiliarity with modal verbs.

[Space Ritual]

Leave it be.

 

I was a victim of a Catfish back before there was even a term for it. I even drove 1000 miles to New Hampshire because i had to find out for myself.

 

It was a waste of time, gas, and I had no resolution, only anger.

 

All the things he is saying points to him actually being in a relationship or actually a lot older than he portrays himself to be.

 

I doubt you would be turned on by a 60 year old man with no hair , false teeth and a nutsack that sank all the way from Wisconsin to Arkansas.

 

Sp with that awful visual in mind, cut this guy out. nothing good is going to happen.

[lamaga]

Leave it be.

 

I was a victim of a Catfish back before there was even a term for it. I even drove 1000 miles to New Hampshire because i had to find out for myself.

 

It was a waste of time, gas, and I had no resolution, only anger.

 

All the things he is saying points to him actually being in a relationship or actually a lot older than he portrays himself to be.

 

I doubt you would be turned on by a 60 year old man with no hair , false teeth and a nutsack that sank all the way from Wisconsin to Arkansas.

 

Sp with that awful visual in mind, cut this guy out. nothing good is going to happen.

 

 

Mhh I doubt he is a catfisher. The app shows you people in your area and

connects to your social media profile, and on his instagram he is on pictures linked with his brother. And on FB we have a mutual friend. I asked her now if she knows if he has a girlfriend. Apparently their families are close.

If he has a girlfriend I let go, if not, I will try to see if I can convince him for a date. It's possible he's just jaded, no?

[lamaga]

Some folks just refuse to take good, solid and FREE advice.

 

Ok, so you think you know him better than his friend? Why not ask someone who knows him and see if he actually has a girlfriend instead of believing assumptions of a stranger, lol?

[smackie9]

Whatever reason he doesn't meet up or why he is even on their in the first place doesn't matter......what matters is that he has no interest in meeting you. So stop hoping or wasting your time. If he was truly interested, he would have asked you out by now, but he hasn't. I think you have invested already too much of yourself and should move on.

[smackie9]

Mhh I doubt he is a catfisher. The app shows you people in your area and

connects to your social media profile, and on his instagram he is on pictures linked with his brother. And on FB we have a mutual friend. I asked her now if she knows if he has a girlfriend. Apparently their families are close.

If he has a girlfriend I let go, if not, I will try to see if I can convince him for a date. It's possible he's just jaded, no?

If he is that jaded, then you really need to drop him....that's a big red flag. If he's one of professed nice guys that has been wronged/rejected, in reality they turn out to be not so nice. They are a self entitled jackass.

[TheTraveler]

Mhh I doubt he is a catfisher. The app shows you people in your area and

connects to your social media profile, and on his instagram he is on pictures linked with his brother. And on FB we have a mutual friend. I asked her now if she knows if he has a girlfriend. Apparently their families are close.

If he has a girlfriend I let go, if not, I will try to see if I can convince him for a date. It's possible he's just jaded, no?

 

How is he jaded from online dating when he's only been on 2 dates in 3 years?

 

 

There is someone else or he's not really physically attracted to you. And the third one if it's none of those two. You're just a time filler until he finds what he's looking for.

[lamaga]

How is he jaded from online dating when he's only been on 2 dates in 3 years?

 

 

There is someone else or he's not really physically attracted to you. And the third one if it's none of those two. You're just a time filler until he finds what he's looking for.

 

Not sure, he said he was with a girl for 8 months and she wasn't very bright and he's looking for someone who is an intellectual match. And we are in a similar study programme and like the same things/have the same humor.

And he's said I am beautiful, so it can't be looks.

[lamaga]

Whatever reason he doesn't meet up or why he is even on their in the first place doesn't matter......what matters is that he has no interest in meeting you. So stop hoping or wasting your time. If he was truly interested, he would have asked you out by now, but he hasn't. I think you have invested already too much of yourself and should move on.

 

Mhh, how long does it usually take for two people to meet after talking online?

I know some people meet after a day or two, others prefer talking back and forth for a week or two before meeting... what's normal?

We've been talking for about 3 days now.

[Larryville]

what matters is that he has no interest in meeting you.

 

Ok never mind, pursue with gusto, hack into his emails, interview his friends, hire a private investigator, steal his morning paper... More free advice...

[Redhead14]

Mhh, how long does it usually take for two people to meet after talking online?

I know some people meet after a day or two, others prefer talking back and forth for a week or two before meeting... what's normal?

We've been talking for about 3 days now.

 

There is no "normal" with OLD. Personally, I feel that spending more than a couple of days emails/texting, etc. without meeting is a complete and total waste of time. Doing that for too long allows one or both parties to building each other up in their heads, etc. and if/when they actually do meet, the person doesn't match up to the idealized version that's been created in their head(s).

 

Do some emailing/texting and have a phone call or two and then just meet up at a public place for a couple of drinks to see if there is enough real/physical attraction. I frankly don't understand any of the "logic" applied to OLD in terms of meeting in person -- keep it short and public PERIOD. Use your own cars. Don't go home with them and split the bill. Doesn't matter if you meet in person 3 minutes after you connect online or 3 weeks. Same precautions. It's just as if you met someone by chance in a bar or club, what have you.

[evanop]

what matters is that he has no interest in meeting you.

 

Ok never mind, pursue with gusto, hack into his emails, interview his friends, hire a private investigator, steal his morning paper... More free advice...

 

Lol, you are exaggerating, I simply asked my friend if she knows if he has a girlfriend. It's a normal thing to do if you fancy someone you have mutual friends with, no? She said he doesn't have a girlfriend right now.

 

Ok, I guess then the truth is that he is just not interested in me that way. Will not pursue any longer.

[evanop]

Bothers me a lot, because I really fancied him. And for me, it's rare that I am physically attracted to someone so quickly.

[VeveCakes]

Bothers me a lot, because I really fancied him. And for me, it's rare that I am physically attracted to someone so quickly.

 

You have never even met him...so you are attracted to his photos only...

[Sunkissedpatio]

Mhh, how long does it usually take for two people to meet after talking online?

I know some people meet after a day or two, others prefer talking back and forth for a week or two before meeting... what's normal?

We've been talking for about 3 days now.

 

 

It's different for everyone. Some people like to drag it out and get to know someone behind a computer, in which case the other person will get tired of that quickly and move on. Others will exchange a few messages back and forth to establish some level of compatibility and then plan to meet that same week or week after.

 

Most people that are serious about meeting someone they can date want to meet sooner than later.

 

But in this case it's not even a matter of him dragging out communication behind a computer, he's actually told you point blank he has no intention of meeting.

 

Stop making the mistake a lot of women make to think "I'll be the one to break him and change his mind" You more than likely won't, and even if you did, this situation sounds like it will end with an unpleasant surprise.

 

Take care and be smart about it before you get sucked in emotionally.

[TheTraveler]

Am i reading two different usernames with the same topic?

[lamaga]

It's different for everyone. Some people like to drag it out and get to know someone behind a computer, in which case the other person will get tired of that quickly and move on. Others will exchange a few messages back and forth to establish some level of compatibility and then plan to meet that same week or week after.

 

Most people that are serious about meeting someone they can date want to meet sooner than later.

 

But in this case it's not even a matter of him dragging out communication behind a computer, he's actually told you point blank he has no intention of meeting.

 

Stop making the mistake a lot of women make to think "I'll be the one to break him and change his mind" You more than likely won't, and even if you did, this situation sounds like it will end with an unpleasant surprise.

 

Take care and be smart about it before you get sucked in emotionally.

 

Well, he didn't say he did not want to meet, he said he just hasn't done this in a while and is a bit reluctant. I haven't asked.

 

But I won't. it's cool.