Author persephone28 Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 Not everyone ghosts or be vague. Probably keeping you around rather than dropping you completely. Maybe. But as I didn't want that sort of ambiguity I asked him directly. I got a direct answer. Are you saying he's lying? Jeez, men are more pathetic than I thought.
Author persephone28 Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 Maybe I'm making excuses for him here. But just to clarify, he is working x12 15 hour days in a row. Gets up at 4am, needs to be in bed by 9, like. It's physical too, digging, etc. It's a new job and he's found it a bit of a shock to the system. We tried to have a date after work last week and he got home so late that he hardly had any time. And he was so exhausted. I could tell. He said he was sorry as he had been looking forward to seeing me all day. I don't blame him if he just wants to let off steam after work for the 2 hours he has free then go to bed. I don't expect him to spend it with me. I doubt he'd be great company too and I think he knows that. I'm probably just telling myself what i want to hear.
VeveCakes Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Is he in construction? I mean I have dated guys that had long hrs too -a lot of them are responsible and know they cant be up all night and work the next day. I would just wait and see if he reaches out.
Anika9 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 You have not been treated badly because you were available. you were available to jerks. a kind respectful person does not take advantage because you are available. if they are interested they will be glad. if they are not they will be honest. being 'unavailable' does not make a jerk a nice person nor does being available make a nice person a jerk i've never had sex but i know many people who have had long term relationships after ons. don't blame the ons as i'm sure people will tell you to do. Never blame the detail... its the person never the detail. With the right person details can be worked out. unfortunately i think, If this guy plays games thats an exemplification of what he thinks of his and your time.
Anika9 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 you never told him he couldnt blow off steam, he chose to make plans and not keep them. btw though getting drunk is a popular way of dealing with a hangover. its possible he just didnt want to be hung over around you. you have to decide what you want not what hes doing, then compare your wants with his behavior and determine if they are compatible.
Anika9 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Being honest and upfront does retain your dignity and also shows you are a strong woman who knows what she wants. Sick of this being called "needy or desperate" for merely putting your wants and expectations out there. Being honest and upfront does retain your dignity and also shows you are a strong woman who knows what she wants. Sick of this being called "needy or desperate" for merely putting your wants and expectations out there. I agree. being upfront and direct is what mature adults do. Assertiveness is not needy. What is dignified about tucking her tail between her legs and slinking away?
Anika9 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 I agree. being upfront and direct is what mature adults do. Assertiveness is not needy. What is dignified about tucking her tail between her legs and slinking away? (sorry new here. tech question) So if I want to comment on a comment, I press reply then check quote message in reply, then type. Even if i don't see the quote it is there?
Anika9 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 (sorry new here. tech question) So if I want to comment on a comment, I press Quote then type. Ok i get it. Thanks
Author persephone28 Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 Is he in construction? I mean I have dated guys that had long hrs too -a lot of them are responsible and know they cant be up all night and work the next day. I would just wait and see if he reaches out. Sort of - i don't want to give too much away but lets just say my housemate does the same job and he said it is full on. He was in the army for 10 years so yes he knows the score about work. He's 33.
Author persephone28 Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 you never told him he couldnt blow off steam, he chose to make plans and not keep them. btw though getting drunk is a popular way of dealing with a hangover. its possible he just didnt want to be hung over around you. you have to decide what you want not what hes doing, then compare your wants with his behavior and determine if they are compatible. It's very likely he didn't want a repeat of our date on Wednesday. It did occur to me that maybe he wasn't meeting me out of courtesy. Actually what happened was, he told me he was hungover, and I said 'ok, I'm going to make other plans then'. Because I wouldn't have wanted to meet up with him when he was hungover. So I guess I called it off first. And yes, I know he definitely uses the 'hair of the dog' remedy. I've known him a while.
Author persephone28 Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 I agree. being upfront and direct is what mature adults do. Assertiveness is not needy. What is dignified about tucking her tail between her legs and slinking away? Yeah. I mean, it's not like I'm begging him to hang out with me. Or repeatedly contacting him with no response.
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