Got dumped without explanation?

[damon7890]

Heya All,i'm talking about a 18yo girl Social Butterfly(that she was really caring emotional sensitive)it all started in Facebook so it went on as it Flows.

 

Note:She suffered from Depression for about 2 weeks,maybe she entered a depression phase,it was long ago,i don't know was i harsh with the convo,or trying to pressure her alot!

 

She shared my music my interests the Convo was flowing so good,she liked my caring personality etc.

So we grew up emotionally fast she would tell me i can't live without you i need you etc i would tell her the same help her etc.

 

The only problem was her parents were so strict so i meet her once we went out we head sex so much fun everything was on the line it feelt like a dream.

 

She would pm me daily for about 10 hours ask me everything i'm doing etc,i would do the same,sometimes when she got angry about sth she would tell me straightly she was a straight forward honest caring emotional girl.

The first days it was really difficult she would burn sexually and then tell me perhaps we should not talk anymore i would cool her down and tell her i accept you the way you are,give her all the confidence and stuff.

 

So the problem starts here the last 2 weeks she started acting cold and distant,like lacking interest since we were really straight forward from the start i asked her straightly and she answered with nothing is wrong everything is fine she would just give me the same emotional validation call me babe etc but keep the convo's short,i knew there was something up.

So after that she keep't decreasing the convo time-duration to max 1-2 messages daily,and it really feelt weird and strange i always told her i'll fight for you no matter what.

 

So i dropped another text telling her how much i love her etc,i just cannot forget how she was caring emotional etc i mean she suddenly changed it's impossible for me to cope with the Reality because i still feel the girl i used to talk and went out deep in my heart.

 

After the message she would continue with a 2 hour convo and the next day she would do the same again 1-2 messages daily,it went like this for another week i asked her out she told me she started the uni etc finding excuses removed all the emotional validation not calling me babe anymore etc.

And every time i dropped a long convo telling her how she changed how she used to tell me if you leave me i'll get hurt etc and her answer would be the same,it's not true that i don't wanna talk to you.

 

Then i decided to ask her straightly i told her it's not about the talking part i can sense something is wrong it's about the emotions you barely express any emotions and she would answer something else,so then i again asked with do you feel what you feelt before or something has changed just be straight forward and honest like you always were with me,she answers with i don't know can't we just change the topic and talk something normal.

Then i keep't preassuring her to answer me and she goes like this i don't know what to answer i really don't i don't have to say anything.

 

I keep't asking her if i did something wrong to her so she grew up distant she keeps telling me no you did nothing,i tried to bring old things times so i can grow her up emotionally but she ignores it,and acts it cool telling me you should not overthink stuff its not healthy and not answering my question,in old times i was the one telling her not to overthink stuff now she is using that against me and acts high self-esteem tries to play it cool,it's like she is trying her best to push me away so i can leave her alone and then tell me it's your fault that you left me.

 

So after that i dropped another text telling her i will set you free if you really feel like having something with me you can always text me and we can go out until then peace up.

 

So the question that bothers my mind a lot is,should i keep chasing fight for her even doe she shows all tho's,i mean every time i chase her it's like she grows more distant?

 

Is she testing me or it feels like she found someone else

 

I decided to go on a no contact rule with the last text i sent her it's already the 6th day still no contact and nothing from her.

Her last messages after my message was,(Okey,nevermind phh,and okey take careee i left the message on seen and haven't spoken to her since 6 days)

 

I'm really confused if someone would help i would gladly appreciate that,everytime i try to talk to her about sth she does not answer.

 

It feels like she is leaving me hanging,i mean if a girl does not want or like a guy she would straightly would have told me that i don't feel anymore the same she does not answer that way or we can be friends she just tells me i don't know.

 

Is she playing games or whats wrong?Or is she trying to push me away with that cool attitude and tell me then it was your fault?

I should keep with the 30 days no contact rule i think to see if she is ever going to pm and try to talk the things out.

 

Or should i just try to talk the things out??I really wanna know whats up with her but she keeps ignoring it at the old times she was really open with me,i really wanna know if it's my mistake that i did sth to hurt her that she is growing distant everytime i ask her she tells me no you did nothing wrong,she told me she wants to talk to me it's like she says something and acts something different she is making me believe something and acting the opposite trying to push me away by MANIPULATING.

 

Basically she put me right now in a Unrequited love state,and she does not care i mean all tho's emotions all tho's sweet things she used to tell me it's like she forgot every each memory and does not even want to remember them,just tries to get me mad with her ignorance and tells me you should not overthink it's not good she would cry at chat in the old times overthinking everything telling me your cheating right now she is trying to make me look stupid by playin it cool,i really need help guys any ideas would help me clear my mind.

 

PLZ SOMEONE HELP ME!THANK YOU.

Edited November 5, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

[Toodaloo]

Cut contact... Its unrequited love and you will get over it.

 

Keep your cool. Do not send any more messages or letters or emails, she is now Voldermort to you. She who shall not be named.

 

She is a social butterfly and that is what they do. They flit about all over the place.

[damon7890]

Cut contact... Its unrequited love and you will get over it.

 

Keep your cool. Do not send any more messages or letters or emails, she is now Voldermort to you. She who shall not be named.

 

She is a social butterfly and that is what they do. They flit about all over the place.

Aight Brother will do i already went on the NC!

 

The thing that keeps bothering my mind man it's,i mean she keept telling me all tho's sweet things she was pming me every second and now how can a Personality change in a week i just don't really get it.

 

I started doubting myself if i did sth wrong,even thought of she might be in a phase of depression.

So i should not apologize to her for letting her message on Seen or anything,i still care for her alot because i just can't forget the god damn personality she head.

 

I'm also a social butterfly but it's the first time in my life that i got in love this deep and thought of having something serious with the chick.

 

So no texts no anything okeyz.

 

Is there a slim possibility of her getting back to me?At least to sleep one more time that would have been my revenge at least.

 

Thanks for your time man,it means alot it really does.

Edited November 3, 2016 by damon7890

[Toodaloo]

The thing that keeps bothering my mind man it's,i mean she keept telling me all tho's sweet things she was pming me every second and now how can a Personality change in a week i just don't really get it.

 

That is because she didn't really change. This is the way she has always been and the bit before was all an act to get what she wanted from you. In this case bit of attention and a good time. She found that else where so you were disposable.

 

Is there a slim possibility of her getting back to me?At least to sleep one more time that would have been my revenge at least.

 

Oh she probably will if you ignore her because attention seekers love the thrill of attention... So when she isn't getting any she will probably drop you a few bread crumbs just to boost her ego.

 

The revenge sex thing though is just ugly... Forget that... That way of thinking just eats at your soul and the only person you hurt ultimately is yourself... Get deep and get to looking after yourself... Your body and your soul... Because they go hand in hand and a twisted soul will only lead to a twisted mind.

[damon7890]

That is because she didn't really change. This is the way she has always been and the bit before was all an act to get what she wanted from you. In this case bit of attention and a good time. She found that else where so you were disposable.

 

 

 

Oh she probably will if you ignore her because attention seekers love the thrill of attention... So when she isn't getting any she will probably drop you a few bread crumbs just to boost her ego.

 

The revenge sex thing though is just ugly... Forget that... That way of thinking just eats at your soul and the only person you hurt ultimately is yourself... Get deep and get to looking after yourself... Your body and your soul... Because they go hand in hand and a twisted soul will only lead to a twisted mind.

Will do brother,atm my life is on line i work out for like 8 years,i study Physical Therapy got just 1 exam left finishing it with a record time duration,and in general i'm wealthy and worked for everything atm 22 yo i lost my father 2 years ago it really hit me hard,but i keep't flowing no matter what,and i'm a really decent looking dude dated lots of woman,but its a first time with this kind of a personality.

 

I mean i finally feelt like i found the right person she was so sensitive,emotional caring asking everything i do telling me i can't live without you etc it feelt really strong.

 

So the question is if she ever decides to contact me should i act calm and collected and arrange a meeting without keeping the convo long like,hey when are you free to get together if she says no then i will just tell her okey then drop me a pm whenever your free and leave it with that.

 

I thought it was my mistake i did sth wrong but you clearly cleared my mind alot thought she was in a phase of Depression or sth!

[Toodaloo]

Just don't bother. Just ignore and move on brother.

[damon7890]

Just don't bother. Just ignore and move on brother.

 

Aight Brother i will try my best even doe it's really hard after all tho's convo's,after all the emotional support i gave her after all tho's words it feels nearly like impossible but it is how it is i see.

 

Never mind,i'm just way to blind to accept the reality.

[Toodaloo]

Aight Brother i will try my best even doe it's really hard after all tho's convo's,after all the emotional support i gave her after all tho's words it feels nearly like impossible but it is how it is i see.

 

Never mind,i'm just way to blind to accept the reality.

 

We always are at the time. Then later we open our eyes and realise...

 

Sometimes you just gotta cut out the dramas and get on with it.

 

Do unto others as you would have done to yourself and do not let others treat you in the way you refuse to treat others.

 

Its code for life.

[damon7890]

We always are at the time. Then later we open our eyes and realise...

 

Sometimes you just gotta cut out the dramas and get on with it.

 

Do unto others as you would have done to yourself and do not let others treat you in the way you refuse to treat others.

 

Its code for life.

At first she did everything to gain my trust cuz probably she never experienced a guy like me caring sensitive emotional i didn't really head tho's feelings at start but they build up with time.

 

Imagine the first days she would tell me you can't love me for 2 weeks we went out provoke me in every way till she made sure that i completely love her.

 

After that she pmed my mom on FB and told her i really like him lol i mean like WTF.

 

I was just searching for her honesty i mean she could have told me straightly i don't love you i don't feel anymore the same feelings etc she does not want to lose me as i see she keeps me hanging i guess.

 

Can depression indicate on psychology or memory erase it's like she erased every memory from her mind or at least acts in that way,playing it cool she knows i'm chasing and now tries to make me look stupid.

Edited November 5, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

[mikeylo]

You've got it all wrong.

 

The girl is emotionally sensitive. It means she needs an ultra caring guy. Not the macho type. She needs safe , gentle caring hands. You can't treat her the same way as the hip hop girls. No way.

 

Her staying away from you is trying to get over you.

[damon7890]

You've got it all wrong.

 

The girl is emotionally sensitive. It means she needs an ultra caring guy. Not the macho type. She needs safe , gentle caring hands. You can't treat her the same way as the hip hop girls. No way.

 

Her staying away from you is trying to get over you.

 

Dude what are you talking about?

 

I'm the ultra caring sensitive guy that listened her for hours did everything i could and your telling me i'm a macho guy?

ROFL i'm sure shes on bad boys and sees me as a good guy!

 

 

Dude i listened to every problem that she head everything gave her safety protected her were there in her most difficult times when her mother was about to die stayed on the hospital the whole night to support her!

On her every emotional hic ups i was there!

 

And she came with an excuse i'm bored i just don't feel like talking to people in general i need space,and was the whole day online talking to people,she is chatting with guys 24/7 and told me it's just not you,you know i been talking to a lot of people lately,the girl that used to tell me i can't live without you your my priority i need you.

 

And then lying on every second my internet broke down this happened that happened until she pulled away!

Edited November 3, 2016 by damon7890

[mikeylo]

Then just give her a label that suits you most and get going with another. You can get any girl right ?

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, keep in mind that she is only 18. And she sounds like quite an emotionally immature 18-year-old at that. Girls her age aren't looking to settle down for several years.

 

Let her go completely. She is drama.

 

And no, depression doesn't erase memories. She's just fickle and wants to explore. Expecting her to suddenly commit isn't realistic.

[damon7890]

Then just give her a label that suits you most and get going with another. You can get any girl right ?

 

I don't really care at this point about anyone else.

All i wanted is a clear explanation of what's going on and she refuses to tell me.

 

I really wanted to have her as a long term girl friend but she is really unstable i can't really trust her anymore lets see after the NC what happens.

 

I would have gladly taken her but she keeps that high self esteem and wants all the attention cuz i feed her so much that she is playing with me as playing with her dolls.

 

I just miss her old self the caring one every time i reacted with feelings she did the same,everytime i told her sweet things she would answer the same now she changed,flirting with god knows how many peps.

[mikeylo]

In one sentence you can't live without her, she is everything you want. In the next sentence she is someone you despise. Then in next sentence you love and hate her. Then you want to spend your life with her but then want revenge sex.

 

Dude, you really think its about her that she has gone MIA on you ? Or I guess you are in love- hate relationship.

[damon7890]

In one sentence you can't live without her, she is everything you want. In the next sentence she is someone you despise. Then in next sentence you love and hate her. Then you want to spend your life with her but then want revenge sex.

 

Dude, you really think its about her that she has gone MIA on you ? Or I guess you are in love- hate relationship.

 

Brother you really don't understand me,i'm really confused how would you feel when a person you trust you love you gave everything for her sacrificed would turn totally on a Stranger(without giving you a reason).

 

I asked her 5 times already same thing it's not true that i don't wanna talk to you 1-2 text's daily and that's it,everytime i ask her her ego goes sky high everytime i pull she pushes away.

 

She rather played me from the begginning which hurts alot,or she found someone else at least she owes me an explanation she is silent and says nothing.

 

It's really awkward how fast she can lose feelings i mean it's 2 months and i keep having the constant feelings for her no matter what,and she does not feel anything anymore it's like she forgot everything,that makes me believe she played me from the beggining the gurl that used to tell me i can't live without you i need you come here hug me stay close to me everything,and tells me to not overthink imagine it's like me telling you tomorrow ill meet you at 7 a clock and then when i get there she does not come and repeats the same cycle,i can't really believe what i'm witnessing it's the first time and it's really hard.

 

I still love her alot but at the mean time i hate her cuz now i realize that she rather lied from the start or is lying right now,feelings do not dissapear that fast it takes time,i always try to look at things the positive way asking her being the guy i was but she gives 0 answers and continues like nuthin happened,0 respect,the whole time online just 1-2 texts max daily.

Edited November 4, 2016 by damon7890

[mikeylo]

While feelings don't disappear quickly but yes, time and distance will help her move on and feelings will gradually go away.

 

Fake it till you make it. She could be acting cool but may not be feeling cool. Get it? She is taking back control that we give to others when we fall in love. The power to hurt. Once she reaches indifference, she has finally moved on.

 

Instead of looking at your phone all the time , see her physically. Sensitive people can pick up vibes and feelings of others very quickly without even talking to them. They are more intuitive than others.

[damon7890]

While feelings don't disappear quickly but yes, time and distance will help her move on and feelings will gradually go away.

 

Fake it till you make it. She could be acting cool but may not be feeling cool. Get it? She is taking back control that we give to others when we fall in love. The power to hurt. Once she reaches indifference, she has finally moved on.

 

Instead of looking at your phone all the time , see her physically. Sensitive people can pick up vibes and feelings of others very quickly without even talking to them. They are more intuitive than others.

Dude i really don't know what are you trying to say,i'm a sensitive guy your blaming me instead of her,what did i do wrong ROFL all i gave her was unconditional love don't you get that?

 

Every time i ask for an explanation she ignores it and it's killing me i'm dead from inside i don't really know what to do.

 

Everytime i ask her to talk about it she refuses it without a reason she left me i don't really get it!

[ExpatInItaly]

Dude i really don't know what are you trying to say,i'm a sensitive guy your blaming me instead of her,what did i do wrong ROFL all i gave her was unconditional love don't you get that?

 

Every time i ask for an explanation she ignores it and it's killing me i'm dead from inside i don't really know what to do.

 

Everytime i ask her to talk about it she refuses it without a reason she left me i don't really get it!

 

Stop asking her.

 

She is obviously not going to answer, so it's better to just drop it so you can begin to move on.

[damon7890]

Stop asking her.

 

She is obviously not going to answer, so it's better to just drop it so you can begin to move on.

Man just help me once please,why does she not answer?

Is the fault on my i keep thinking for every possibility that i did sth wrong and i can't really find it!

 

She tells me it's not your fault,i don't know what to say , i don't have anything to say it just makes no sense.

 

She head insecurities earlier telling me if you leave me i'll get hurt from that gurl she went on this gurl wtf is wrong with her man i don't get it plz help me clear my mind.

[thecrucible]

OP, she may think it causes less harm in the long run to leave things where they are and not draw it out for too long. I know you're hurting. I have to say I have done that to a few exes because I felt that I had said my piece and I didn't think it was helping them to keep engaging. I didn't want to offer up friendship as I felt that would be misleading as we couldn't continue to be friendly. It can give false hope if things aren't black and white enough. In my mind it's far more emotionally painful to be in limbo with someone.

[damon7890]

OP, she may think it causes less harm in the long run to leave things where they are and not draw it out for too long. I know you're hurting. I have to say I have done that to a few exes because I felt that I had said my piece and I didn't think it was helping them to keep engaging. I didn't want to offer up friendship as I felt that would be misleading as we couldn't continue to be friendly. It can give false hope if things aren't black and white enough. In my mind it's far more emotionally painful to be in limbo with someone.

Man i just wanna know if it's my fault that's all.

I mean all she tells me is that it's not true that i don't wanna talk to you

keeps the messages max 1-2 messages daily.

 

She is basically making me pull back with showing 0 interest,0 respect and 0 love and keeping it cool telling me all the right words your wrong that i don't wanna talk to you or try to get rid of you or ignore and tells me you keep overthinking trying to make me look like a Crazy dude , her actions speak the other way around so she is basically MANIPULATING me!

 

 

Avoids anything emotional in the text and finds excuses for meeting up that's all telling me i don't know.

 

And tells me it's not fault you did nothing wrong.

 

So basically she is faulting me cuz i was the one that told her if you really wanna continue this drop me a pm talk about things and hang out.

 

I can't keep it this way of her ignoring every message and stuff and being 0% emotional about everything.

 

Is there a slim chance for her to get back i told her i'll give you time to clear your mind?

 

And if i pm again asking her or apologizing for something that i don't know what i did to turn her off,i think i might ruin everything if i do!

Edited November 5, 2016 by damon7890

[ExpatInItaly]

Man just help me once please,why does she not answer?

Is the fault on my i keep thinking for every possibility that i did sth wrong and i can't really find it!

 

She tells me it's not your fault,i don't know what to say , i don't have anything to say it just makes no sense.

 

She head insecurities earlier telling me if you leave me i'll get hurt from that gurl she went on this gurl wtf is wrong with her man i don't get it plz help me clear my mind.

 

How can I possibly answer for a person whom I have never met?

 

My honest guess is that she has met another guy and would rather not tell you.

 

Just drop it, for your own well-being. She isn't some awesome catch, anyway.

[damon7890]

How can I possibly answer for a person whom I have never met?

 

My honest guess is that she has met another guy and would rather not tell you.

 

Just drop it, for your own well-being. She isn't some awesome catch, anyway.

Yeah man That's what i thought , i thought the fault was on me i did sth wrong,on the old convo's she would give me the same emotional validation keep it shorter probably was talking to another guy and being online at the same time the whole day ,so she probably is using me as a back up plan even doe she tells me I'm not in Love with anyone.

 

Anyways i think if a person can change her feelings that fast for someone she ain't the right person for a long run i guess,as i see shes a try every new thing type of a person!

 

I just wanted an explanation from her now i get it why she ain't answering to use me as a back up plan in the future maybe cuz if she told me i'm talking to this another guy i would have left, i just thought it was my mistake i did sth wrong but i can't really see any mistakes that i did.