Jump to content

Dating in my 50s

Hondo

By Hondo
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted

But if you do not think your partner is pretty or handsome in some way then what is the point? You are in your 50's not your 90's...

I guess even in your 90s, it is best to see your partner as an attractive/beautiful person.

  • Like 1
SammySammy Established Member

SammySammy

Posted
Posted

What's interesting to me is how we can have sex with a person and then say they are not sexy.

 

They are good enough to fill our sexual desires, but don't meet some arbitrary ideal of "sexiness".

 

Seems contradictory to me.

  • Like 4
Sunkissedpatio Established Member

Sunkissedpatio

Posted
Posted
What's interesting to me is how we can have sex with a person and then say they are not sexy.

 

They are good enough to fill our sexual desires, but don't meet some arbitrary ideal of "sexiness".

 

Seems contradictory to me.

 

Same here, wondering the exact same thing. :confused:

  • Like 2
TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

Posted
Posted
She is everything I have ever wanted. But I am ashamed to say this but like me she is in her 50s and quite frankly I do not find her sexually attractive.

 

So she's not everything you wanted. End it.

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted

I think it may be a bit like driving a Ford and feel that you should be driving a Rolls Royce or a Ferrari.

The Ford gets you where you want to go true, but not in the style you dream about perhaps...

central Established Member

central

Posted
Posted

OP, she's not a good choice for you. Don't settle - you'll both be glad if you don't.

 

 

How many women have you dated since your ex left? If only a few, then finding anyone compatible that quickly is highly suspect (occasionally we get lucky, but that's the exception). Do not settle because you're lonely!

 

 

I dated dozens of women before finding one who was compatible - including physically and sexually attractive. And be sure that she finds you the same, else you'll be disappointed eventually (and especially so if you find her sexy and she does not find you sexy!). I was rejected many times - and rejected many women - before a truly great mutual match came along. It's better to be alone than in a deteriorating relationship.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted

I have a buddy of mine in his 50's ...He has been dating for a while...he turns his nose up at all of the women he attracts, for basically the same reason as the OP..."They are all too fat"..."she looks like a melted candle when she is naked".....blah blah..

 

I'm like..."hey bro, have you had a look at yourself in a mirror lately".....:laugh:

 

I think a lot of men feel like they want to be with women that look like Jordan Carver for as long as they live...There are older guys in great shape, but most look just as bad(or....say "age appropriate") as the women..

 

TFY

  • Like 2
grays Established Member

grays

Posted
Posted
You have three partners, currently? Not sure your situations compares to that of the OP because he's in or striving for a long term relationship.

 

I wasnt comparing relationships, only addressing the question of age and sexiness. My point was that younger people find people in their 40s and 50s and beyond sexy all the time. So I was wondering if he really can't find a 50-something sexy or if he just doesn't find her sexy.

  • Like 1
Buddhist Established Member

Buddhist

Posted
Posted

My impression from reading the OP was that her age [and presumably the passage of time on her body] was his major objection. Because he went on to apologise to all women over 50 and then drew the comparison with his own age. If that's the case, then fine, people can like what they like. I think the real issue here is that he's looking at settling down with the first woman who came along and hasn't gotten the whole choices things out of his system first. Some where in the back of his mind is this doubt that he can or should do better. No shame in that either. He's been married since his mid 20's and now finds himself suddenly single at 50. Thats a lot of time to be constrained.

 

But what he should do is tell this lady that he needs to get out there and experience life a bit more before settling down again. See what he can find, who he can meet and test the theory. Not try to sandwich himself into a mould he isn't ready to fit into.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm curious: how is your sex life with her?

 

I'm not clear from your post if it is active and satisfying. Is it?

 

I wouldn't be quick to bring a lie into the middle of the relationship because eventually, the truth will out and will do it when you can least afford for it to come out, so you might want to give a second thought to reaching for deceit as a means to keep someone you're not attracted to from walking out. She may walk anyway because you can't muster sexual attraction for her, but it's better that she walks because of this than because she discovered you to be a liar. She can still have respect for you telling her the truth, even though that truth hurts her. She won't respect you if she finds out you've been lying to her for months.

 

Just something to think on. It's going to be painful either way it goes--but you can still maintain respect.

Edited by kendahke
Gr8fuln2020 Established Member

Gr8fuln2020

Posted
Posted

Again, OP, your preference is not an issue as far as I can see. There clearly are hottish 40-50ish women out there. I was married to one and dated a couple. I agree that your doubt regarding this lady is going to be a problem. I feel that settling knowing that you have these doubts about her 'sexiness' is going to bite you in the butt if you don't resolve this now. It would only be fair to her... and you in the end.

Nightwriter Member

Nightwriter

Posted
Posted

Seems like there's a bit of piling on here and the OP hasn't answered any questions. Why don't we see if the OP gives more info before speculating what's happening too much? Although the OP might have left the building...

Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted
Although the OP might have left the building...

 

Can you blame him though?

Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted
I guess even in your 90s, it is best to see your partner as an attractive/beautiful person.

 

By the time you are 90 though you are probably going to be more worried about your pace maker or your hip operation than rampant shagging...

 

I hope I am not and sincerely hope that I am the contradiction to my own post but something tells me that arthritis and growing old just might slow me down some day!!! ;) All part of lifes rich tapestry...and also the reason why I am looking for someone I get on with via minds rather than genitals...

Larryville Established Member

Larryville

Posted
Posted
I have a buddy of mine in his 50's ...He has been dating for a while...he turns his nose up at all of the women he attracts, for basically the same reason as the OP..."They are all too fat"..."she looks like a melted candle when she is naked".....blah blah..

 

I'm like..."hey bro, have you had a look at yourself in a mirror lately".....

 

I think a lot of men feel like they want to be with women that look like Jordan Carver for as long as they live...There are older guys in great shape, but most look just as bad(or....say "age appropriate") as the women..

 

TFOTY

Great point men seriously try to oversell themselves and want to hot woman when they are fat, smelly, dress like crap many just look jacked up. Yes, many with money can con an attractive bimbo into getting with him but this makes those men think they are better looking and a catch than they really are.

 

Me I just try to look for equality. I believe I am honest with my looks, I’m in better shape and more active, dress more updated than the average 52 almost 53 year old dude, I am blessed with good jeans my mom and dad looks far younger than their ages.

 

Thing is for me I’m not trying to land a 30 something, hottest woman around because I’m attracted to all around depth.

 

What MKD said:

“Sexiness is an attitude. Not an age or a dress size.”

 

Is SO FREAKING TRUE. Of course I’m not going to be attracted to a seriously overweight, tired sloppy old woman regardless of age.

 

There are a lot of older women mid 40’s plus that look great because their mind is right and have lost most of their insecurities.

  • Like 2
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...