runup Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 I figure this is the most appropriate place to post this. I met this girl two months ago at a mutual friends party. We hit it off instantly. Turns out she was visiting the city and would only be there for a week so after a couple days of informal talking we met up before she left and went on a date. We got along really well (best date I've had in months - 10+ girls) and just seemed to connect and get each other. She told me she had a boyfriend and that they had decided to breakup after a two week break (they had been together for 2 years). This was the second week of that break. Fast forward a month and a half. We talked a lot. We were both interested in one another but of course aware of the distance etc. She was coming back to my city for a business trip so we planned on meeting. She was hot and cold but still definitely interested. We kissed and it led to more but at one point we stopped because, for her, it was "too much". After she left, we talked and she said she really likes me but doesn't think it will work because of the distance and she doesn't feel ready after coming out of a two year (1 year long distance) relationship. She explicitly said she wants to keep talking and see where things go. I told her I liked her too and understood the reasons but enjoyed talking to her nonetheless if anything else came of it. Since then she has been much more cold. I don't know if it's because she isn't really interested or if she is just scared she might be too interested and not be able to do anything about it. Also, she is still just out of a long term relationship and doesn't feel ready. I like her but I don't know if I should just cut off contact and forget about her at this point. The distance plus her recent signs tell me to. But then again I feel like there's a chance she is worth it; how do I proceed from here if she seems cold? Is it best to back off either way? Best to be upfront and talk with her about it or to act like everything is fine and just talking normally to her hoping she comes back to being hot (from cold)? Who knows if she is still talking to her recent ex (really not my business) but I know she is still struggling with it, so is that reason for alarm or for content (that she's acting this way because of breakup and not me). On the other hand, if she is really just saying this to put me down easy (and doesn't actually like me like that) how would I know?
JewelD Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 Mirror her behavior. If she's not really contacting you and acting cold, treat her the same. Your gut instinct is telling you to move on so that's probably the best option here. There's always going to be maybes and what-ifs in any situation but you need to focus on the "what is". What is she doing now and how is she treating you? Make your judgement based on that, not about hypotheticals in the future.
Author runup Posted November 2, 2016 Author Posted November 2, 2016 Mirror her behavior. If she's not really contacting you and acting cold, treat her the same. Your gut instinct is telling you to move on so that's probably the best option here. There's always going to be maybes and what-ifs in any situation but you need to focus on the "what is". What is she doing now and how is she treating you? Make your judgement based on that, not about hypotheticals in the future. I agree. Is it bad that I like her so much already? Usually I have no problem not texting a girl anymore if it fizzles out but my feelings aren't the same as usual with this one.
JewelD Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 I agree. Is it bad that I like her so much already? Usually I have no problem not texting a girl anymore if it fizzles out but my feelings aren't the same as usual with this one. If you've been thinking and fantasizing about her and a possible future between the two of you, it makes sense that you would feel strongly about her. You might even be more interested because she's so elusive.
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