Cheated on

[Kateyxo]

Hi everyone,

First time posting here, I just need some outside advice because I am feeling very alone. I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months, I was two weeks away from moving somewhat far to be with him and found out he had cheated on me. We got together about two months after the other girl, he was dating me and (somewhat) dating her for about 5 months. The last of those months I did see texts from him saying he just wanted to be friends so for 2/5 months that may have been a thing. They had sex a few times to my knowledge. We broke up for 3 weeks and they again dated and then when we got back together and things got more serious he stopped talking to her. This is all information I'm getting from her with screenshots so that I know it is true. He has admitted it and apologized to me daily, telling me he needs me back and will do anything constantly. A part of me says because I love him so much i need to at least try, another part of me tells me i am crazy. The thing is.. its not just the cheating. In our relationship he was always very jealous and a little controlling (typical of a cheater) and early on he was very critical of me. What do I do?

[JewelD]

Move on. He has been dishonest with you for pretty much the entire relationship and I highly doubt he plans to stop seeing this girl.

[Satu]

Jealous + controlling + cheated = Not a wise option.

 

You deserve better.

 

 

Take care.

[Gaeta]

Cancel everything and move on. This is not the type of man you can build a future with. He did not cheat on you once, he cheated on you for months, lied, deceived you. I don't care how remorseful he is what he did is unforgivable. You are not married to him, you don't have children together it's the best time to turn your back.

[Shanex]

Sounds to me he's still attached to this woman, let it go.

 

This might bite him in the butt later, because he may lose you AND her.

[victoria88]

"A part of me says because I love him so much i need to at least try, another part of me tells me i am crazy."

 

You know deep inside you that cheaters do not change. He will probably continue to cheat (this is the half of you telling you that you are crazy=the voice of reason).

 

You are in love with him, you want to give him a 2nd chance hoping he will change (this is the voice of the heart).

 

 

I do not want to tell you to break-up with the man you love, only you can take this decision.

 

However from what you wrote about him, there is one question to ask:

Has he always cheated, or is this the 1st time?

 

If he has cheated on every other girlfriend he has had...wow he will not stop (ever).

 

If this is the 1st time, perhaps he deserves a 2nd chance (I write this mainly because you love him). I am compassionate (& romantic) but I want to warn you...be careful not to get hurt after an eventual repetition of the cheating.

 

 

I wish you good luck from all my heart!

 

p.s. Well I hope at least once someone will prove that men can change (can become better during a relationship). I guess I just want to see proves that love makes miracles...

[OatsAndHall]

I won't lie, I was an absolute cheating SOB until I hit my mid-twenties. The women I fooled around on deserved better than that, as did the women I screwed around with. Yes, we cheating idiots can change but that doesn't mean that any woman has to put up with it.

[preraph]

Right. Because he is a cheater when he thinks he can get away with it, he assumes everyone else is like that and thinks the same way and so he is controlling and jealous.

 

Listen, cheating aside, you do NOT want to spend your life with a controlling man! It's miserable! they will eventually run off friends and even family. Just cut your losses and find someone who isn't controlling.