just not that into me?

[redhairnfreckles78]

Hi folks,

Im newly single after leaving by husband in April, so relationships and dating are all new to me.

Went out on saturday with my friends and met this guy. We seemed to click and i thought he was handsome. He asked for my number as my friends and i were away to get our train home.

He texted me Sunday morning and we ended up texting all day, and he asked me if i would like to have dinner with him. I said yes and we agreed a date of a week on Friday as im working this weekend. After we had set the date he sent me text saying he would catch me later. I didnt reply to this, thinking he would text me later on.

Today is Wednesday and i hadnt heard from him so i sent him a causal text saying something about how thats us half way through the working week. He replied within 20 minutes and was really nice and friendly -asking how work was, how was my week, had i been running etc. I replied to him about an hour later as i was busy. About 4 hours later i got a text, again friendly and quite long, and i sent back a reply. Hes not reponded yet but i understand not everyone sits by their phones.

Just curious, is this normal? Or am i looking too much into it - just dont want to make a fool of myself if hes not interested.

Thanks

[Lily1234]

From my perspective, this is still in the very beginning stage, so I would say it's normal for now and it's too early to tell whether he is good or not.

 

But don't set up a too high expectation. if he continues to be nice and friendly then that would be great. But if not, it's also normal since he is just a random person you accidentally know. However, you would feel disappointed and hurt if you already expect too much but turns out he is not the person you thought he would be. Don't expect anything before he give you any significant positive signal.

[Ami1uwant]

You are in early stages of dating. You don't want to text/talk before the date because conversation is important. If you talk a bunch before your date you won't have much to talk about, then date goes awkward and fail.

[Erik30]

Seems like you're both busy and not really into texting, which is fine. I also don't like texting back and forth throughout the day.

The date has already been set, so there's nothing to worry about.

[redhairnfreckles78]

Thanks for the replies folks.

Think i was over thinking the situation. Hes the first person ive given my number too and am just nervous. BUT, i will calm down and go with the flow.

 

Maybe its an age thing - im 38, and this is first time ive been single in a long time. Its all new and i dont have a clue how things work.

 

Thanks

[Toodaloo]

Red you have much to learn.

 

Relax.

 

Rule basically is that whoever was last to text next one comes from the other.

 

Also try phoning him rather than texting. Terribly old school I know but... it works.

 

Be warned though. As you only split from your husband in April you may have sudden back tracks on emotions etc as your divorce gets closer and as you sign those papers. Its not easy. Others know this so they may be put off that you are separated and not fully divorced. Because of this I will say one thing. Be kind to yourself and don't rush yourself.

[catchthedrift]

I would not overthink this yet. You have a date set and from my experience guys don't text thaaat much after setting a date. Just look forward to the date!

[venusishername]

I dunno. While I agree there isn't a whole ton of communication before the first date, you've already met in person. I've dated a lot. If someone asked me out and I had to initiate after a few days, I would think he wasn't so eager. A guy that is really into you will nail the details down as quickly as possible so he doesn't lose the chance. It was good that you reached out, this shows you're still interested and want to keep the date. But he didn't mention seeing you on Saturday in your long text? And by the way, I guess I'm old fashioned but what happened to a phone call these days?

 

 

In my personal experience the guys who really wanted to keep a date with me would go out of their way to make plans and communicate. Just my two cents.

If you don't hear from him by tomorrow night, what I would do is make some back up plans. If nothing by Friday night, I would send a text and ask if he was still on for Saturday. But really, a guy who really wants to date you will not wait for you to initiate, he would be doing it.

I don't buy a busy excuse, no one is too busy to make a quick phone call or at least a text at the end of the day to keep the connection. I know this sounds cynical but this has happened to me when I first would meet someone. If he's not nailing down the details, and in my opinion not even mentioning it when YOU initiated contacting him, then he's not real excited about it. Sorry. I do hope you see him!

[Methodical]

You might be over-analyzing a bit. Really, in his shoes, I'd have scratched my head after sending the text about catching you later and not getting any response. A quick, "sounds good," reply from you would have been nice simply bc it's easy to conjure up doubts, which you are now experiencing. Use these little nuances as learning tools to help you navigate uncharted territory .

[LastAcorn99]

I can understand your nervousness. Like the others have expressed, I would suggest that you relax, enjoy the date, and don’t read too much into it. Take care!

[smackie9]

Stop working so hard to establish something so soon......it's just a guy, it's just a date. It's ok to have very little to no communication before the first date. I'm old skool.....save the chatting for the date. One on one is way more fun.

 

Enjoy your date tomorrow.