Lilyann Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 I have been dating a wonderful guy, but it is a LDR. We have not had any problems (other than the LD) and have great communication. I have had some trust issues that I have overcome in the past. He has helped me through this when I thought it was not going to work (do to my OWN trust issues and the LD). Well I had a talk with him on Friday night through IM and then a phone call to straighten things out. He is having some issues with himself right now. He told me that his confidence is not up to where he needs it to be. I asked him if someone said something to him that made him unhappy (I.E. a female) he said no. I also asked him if there is anyone else or the thought of them. He said no. He did say that he was lonely - we live 4 hours away - the distance is getting to him. I asked him is he still loved me and wanted to be with me he replied yes. I told him maybe we should just break up (I thought this would be an easy out for him). I told him that he did not want to. Inturn, he said that he did not think that was what he wanted. He stated that he was just in a blah mood and did not know why. He also stated that he did not have any answers, but he knew I wanted them. I told him that I would be there for him, that I believed in him (I think that he is really stressed). He said thank you and apologized for hurting me. I asked him to take a few days to think this over to decide what he wanted to do. He knows that I don't want to break up with him, but he also knows that I will not wait around for him. My question is do you think that he is really stressed about the long distance? I know that you don't have the answers, but please give your insight. Thanks Lilyann
Samantha2005 Posted July 16, 2005 Posted July 16, 2005 Yes - He could just be stressed out about the LD thing, but with the knowledge of that, how is that helping you? Has he eluded to any sort of commitment coming up over the horizon ?? Or could it be that he is viewing you as a "just in case" sort of thing.? I think I'd be doing some serious evaluation of his dialog and actions and ask yourself exactly what he has ... and is willing ... to offer. Don't sell yourself short.
alphamale Posted July 16, 2005 Posted July 16, 2005 Originally posted by Lilyann My question is do you think that he is really stressed about the long distance? I know that you don't have the answers, but please give your insight. Thanks Many folks in LDRs are either afraid of commitment or just want a "part-time" relationship or they are married or have another person on the side and cheating with someone who is in close proximitiy is too risky. I suggest you re-examine why you are in a LDR and cheating yourself out of a more traditional relationship
Samantha2005 Posted July 16, 2005 Posted July 16, 2005 That's true alpha ... it certainly can be the reason.
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