Gloria25 Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 Ok, I believe men are more stoic than women. We can chat, chat, chat and thensome....not men. They simply are not as chatty/communicative as women. So, does the way a man communicates is reflected in how he texts, emails, instant messages? Like, is it a lot of one sentences that don't quite flow? Do they just leave a message hanging? I consider myself a very stoic woman. I actually prefer texting over phone calls. Cuz on the phone I feel pressured to keep it going somewhere...even with girlfriends. But, I still feel that I text more than a guy does. So, while he might do two sentences and is done, I'm writing a novel via text and make sure I end the conversation (like ensuring a period is at the end of the sentence).
GorillaTheater Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 <GT grunts in order to hold up his end of the conversation> 7
Author Gloria25 Posted November 2, 2016 Author Posted November 2, 2016 <GT grunts in order to hold up his end of the conversation> Now how does a guy grunt over text? 1
Grumpybutfun Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 <GT grunts in order to hold up his end of the conversation> Me no find words...grunt...grunt.... Pounds ground with club! G 5
BluesPower Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 It is said that women have 20,000 words a day inside them. Conversely, it is said the men have 2000 words inside them a day. Whether those numbers are correct or not it does make a point that women need to talk more than me. If it is on the phone, in text or whatever women usually have a lot more to say. For example, wife calls me, tells me that one of my sons has been in a car wreck. The proceeds to (Try) and tell me every where he was at when it happened, what the other driver did, how much damage there was to the car, and on and on. I have to stop her and I have one short question, "Is he alright?". "Oh, yes.", she says. Then I can let her tell me everything in the world about the car wreck. Same thing with every other method of commination. Except when we are in person, then I am just happy to let her go on forever, because I am with her in person and I can see how happy she is to tell me a bunch of **** that I could care less about. I just care in those situations because it makes her happy. 2
basil67 Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 (Being a woman, I will use more words) I really dislike conversational texts. I do have a friend who likes to chat via messenger, but it takes so loooong to have a simple conversation that I've gotten to the stage of avoiding it. I wonder if those clunky texting people are also those who dislike conversational texts. 3
Author Gloria25 Posted November 2, 2016 Author Posted November 2, 2016 Me no find words...grunt...grunt.... Pounds ground with club! G Or taps keyboard space bar...? 2
Redhead14 Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 Ok, I believe men are more stoic than women. We can chat, chat, chat and thensome....not men. They simply are not as chatty/communicative as women. So, does the way a man communicates is reflected in how he texts, emails, instant messages? Like, is it a lot of one sentences that don't quite flow? Do they just leave a message hanging? I consider myself a very stoic woman. I actually prefer texting over phone calls. Cuz on the phone I feel pressured to keep it going somewhere...even with girlfriends. But, I still feel that I text more than a guy does. So, while he might do two sentences and is done, I'm writing a novel via text and make sure I end the conversation (like ensuring a period is at the end of the sentence). Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I am a woman. It is extremely tedious to read a novel on that tiny little screen on my phone. It's boring, lacks emotional inflection/color and it's impersonal. They simply are not as chatty/communicative as women. -- And their texting habits/techniques will likely demonstrate that as well. I consider myself a very stoic woman -- Stoic? - "a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining." I'd say you should stick to texting as it would properly reflect that "characteristic" . . . 3
GorillaTheater Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 I've always hated texting. As far as I'm concerned, and short of brief texts concerning what to pick up at the grocery store, I think it's a horrible mode of communication. I think that's borne out by the number of threads asking about what this or that text "means". If I'm ever dating again (God forbid), I'll be the guy women start threads about wondering why I don't text them. 3
Redhead14 Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 I've always hated texting. As far as I'm concerned, and short of brief texts concerning what to pick up at the grocery store, I think it's a horrible mode of communication. I think that's borne out by the number of threads asking about what this or that text "means". If I'm ever dating again (God forbid), I'll be the guy women start threads about wondering why I don't text them. It is the source of many, many misunderstandings/miscommunications, unnecessary arguments, mental gymnastics about what's going on on the "other side", etc. There's nothing like the "personal" touch of hearing the voice of your friends, relatives and lovers. 1
Buddhist Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 I don't think this is very true actually. People are people, some people, regardless of their gender aren't great talkers. I rarely text, I have male friends who send me war and peace via text. It doesn't matter what the communication method is. That stupid book by John Gray did the world a disservice in reinforcing the idea that men and women are different species. We're not. Socialisation reinforces stereotypes about men and women and people behave accordingly. I'm not well socialised, and do not engage in 'womens interests' like gossiping, chatting endlessly, etc despite the fact I have ovaries. 4
PrettyEmily77 Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 I don't think this is very true actually. People are people, some people, regardless of their gender aren't great talkers. I rarely text, I have male friends who send me war and peace via text. It doesn't matter what the communication method is. That stupid book by John Gray did the world a disservice in reinforcing the idea that men and women are different species. We're not. Socialisation reinforces stereotypes about men and women and people behave accordingly. I'm not well socialised, and do not engage in 'womens interests' like gossiping, chatting endlessly, etc despite the fact I have ovaries. Yeah, I'd agree with that. I'm quite well socialised (that doesn't automatically translate into gossiping and chatting by the way - women have the same interests as men, mostly) but I'm also a poor texter and not a great emailer either. I'm much better at face-to-face interactions, which really doesn't say much. Does that mean I'm very stoic?
Gaeta Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 I am lucky to have a bf who's a chatterbox as much as I am. If I say 30K words a day he then must use 40K. The beauty is we don't text and I don't miss one bit of it. Nothing is more comforting than the sound of his voice.
Tayla Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 Coming from an all boys household,I learned their briefness in talk. It was succinct. Plus even they have an insider code of talk.yes even the inflection of the grunt or moaning...has its own male understanding. Their mannerisms are a hoot sometimes.! I dislike texts.lacks inflection, and human interaction. My sons' generation seems to think of it in terms of:brief,non interactive, and time saving. I told him to use the phones voice feature.cuz in my world I have no proof it's him texting. I raised him to speak up, not text up!
RecentChange Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 Men don't like to chat? Have you ever sat in a room full of sports fans? I have never seen so much chatting, gossiping, arguing, and more talk talk talk in my life! As far as men texting..... some love it, some don't. My husband and I never texted much, or talked on the phone much - even when long distance. But I have also dated a writer, he loved to send long texts / emails. I like to write, so I can enjoy texting/ emailing. 2
GorillaTheater Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 Men don't like to chat? Have you ever sat in a room full of sports fans? I have never seen so much chatting, gossiping, arguing, and more talk talk talk in my life! That's entirely different. Aggies are number 4! 1
OneLov Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 If I go to a premium bottle shop, I could out shop a woman. Lol. Obviously, we're talking about generalizations and thus my answer assumes that premise. But yes men do there are men that wear their emotions on their sleeve. But OP, you are right that men are generally more stoic. Biologically, we tend to use more of the left hemisphere of our brain whereas women access both hemispheres when communicating. The result is men tend to have a harder time incorporating/expressing their emotions when communicating.
SammySammy Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 My communication style varies with the medium and the situation. Whether talking, texting, or posting online, I can be verbose in some situations and restrained in others. Chatty with some people, reserved with others. I wouldn't assume that I could accurately label or define anyone by the way they communicated in a certain situation. It could give you some insight into a person, but our "insight" may only be a small glimpse into who they really are. Being talkative or quiet could both be a disguise. Sometimes, it takes a while for people to reveal their true selves to us. When the situation is most likely temporary (OLD) or not "real" (online posts), they may never reveal their true selves. It's all a mirage. 1
Author Gloria25 Posted November 3, 2016 Author Posted November 3, 2016 That's entirely different. Aggies are number 4! Oh no, men sitting around talking about guy stuff, sports? I hear: :confused:
Got it Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 None of this is true. These are very limited perception biases that are being trotted out as if they are facts. Sigh. At some point these get old. My husband hates texting. The kids like it. Neither male or female kiddo is very verbose in writing or spoken word. Communication style is based on individualized thinking styles, intelligence, and social and familial upbringing. In my career I have witnessed more men being given the advice to "land the plane" get to the point than women, ergo meaning they are more verbose. I actually experience more men being involved in gossiping than women. These are individuals at mid management to executive levels. I deal with more men needing to be advised to put their emotions aside to deal with the situation at hand than women counterparts. 3
thefooloftheyear Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 I have big and meaty hands...I can barely type on a keyboard... My texts are usually like... kiohole...spojpe'....ljpojpoje....OK? TFY 1
Larryville Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 Communication style is based on individualized thinking styles, intelligence, and social and familial upbringing. Thank you, G The very reason why I specifically prefer smart, intelligent, inquisitive, articulate communicative… lots of variables on preferences… if I’m into a woman, I don’t give a damn about HOW we communicate as long as we do so effectively, honestly, passionately. If your SigO is boring, has a boring life and disposition, lacks depth and intelligence and as G said born and raised in an environment that either did not communicate well or was not emphasized how they communicate won’t matter. Communicating is a learned behavior. You either have it and the social skills to pull it off or you don’t. Using OLD profiles for example. I see women with advanced degrees and despite how attractive they might be their profiles are barren with no train of thought and say crap like I don’t know what to say here… REALLY!? If they can’t figure out what to say about themselves on a OLD profile they sure as hell won’t be having any exciting or interesting dinner conversations with you, unless keeping their mouths shut IS the goal.
Got it Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 Thank you, G Using OLD profiles for example. I see women with advanced degrees and despite how attractive they might be their profiles are barren with no train of thought and say crap like I don’t know what to say here… REALLY!? If they can’t figure out what to say about themselves on a OLD profile they sure as hell won’t be having any exciting or interesting dinner conversations with you, unless keeping their mouths shut IS the goal. I don't know if I agree with this point. There are many, male and female, who struggle with how to "toot their own horn" but can be very engaging conversationalists in person. My brief stint with OLD was a struggle as I find it such an awkward and artificial way to communicate with others. Maybe the amount of interest in it also translate to their lack of information as I would say I didn't have much invested so not the best picture, think more tongue in cheek feedback, etc. In fact one date, when meeting me, commented how my profile and picture did not do me justice. Frankly because I didn't find it fit me the best. So not sure if worth crossing all off though your assumption could end up being correct. It would be a gamble but then all dating is a gamble. I know that what I found better suited me, and my time, was "It's Just Lunch" type of vendor. I had a preference of finding like minded individuals, in similar career trajectories and aspirations as a best fit for me. It allowed more of the person to come through than the "meat market" that is OLD. But, for myself, I hadn't dated really since high school so OLD was just an odd format for myself and outside of the blind date (that became my first husband, which happened while in high school) most of my dating just happened organically in my interactions with others.
ChickiePops Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 Men don't like to chat? Have you ever sat in a room full of sports fans? I have never seen so much chatting, gossiping, arguing, and more talk talk talk in my life! As far as men texting..... some love it, some don't. My husband and I never texted much, or talked on the phone much - even when long distance. But I have also dated a writer, he loved to send long texts / emails. I like to write, so I can enjoy texting/ emailing. I'm as big a sports fan as most guys I know (when it comes to NFL football at least..hehe) and I can vouch for this! 1
RedBaron2765 Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 My wife's sister (who is a drama queen and a general all-around pain in the ass) can go on and on and on....... She'll call my wife with some fresh drama and literally won't stop to take a breath - wife will just be quiet and I can hear her sister babbling on about the latest dumbass thing she's done that's she claims is not her fault but she needs help getting bailed out of. I know when I watch a game I don't say much if anything - wife doesn't like it but it's the way I've always been. Want to enjoy the game without listening to people who don't know what's going on giving their opinion about what's happening.
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