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Posted

Yep, time to flip the script...

 

Ok, I know we women generally like know within first 15 minutes of meeting a guy if we're capable of having sex with him. But still, there are times when attraction may develop over time and maybe capacity to see him as object to desire sexually may come....But, there's a window where if dude doesn't make a move or something, he'll get friendzoned.

 

My question is, do women have that same window? Like if she doesn't make a move and/or show signs of attraction dude will friendzone her? And once she's banished to the friendzone, is there any hope of coming from it?

 

I mean, we women are schooled not to be too pushy, let men do the hard work cuz if you're too easy, he won't have to "earn" you and even if you two kick it off, he'll lose interest quick cuz you were too easy/available. But still, IMO, if you don't act soon enough, he may also think you're a tease and/or not interested?

Posted

Yeah there is. A guy will know within seconds if he wants to have sex with her or not. This is 100% based on physical appearance. I suppose if the woman had a dramatic change in her physical appearance than she might have a shot at escaping the male friendzone.

  • Like 1
Posted

fwiw, I don't friendzone any women, altho sometimes the nature of your relationship kinda naturally falls toward the platonic rather than just always sex. I will say tho that desire can form over time so no woman is ruled out quickly or automatically - which is also a good reason not to friendzone any of them. :)

Posted

Never seen or experienced such a thing.

 

However the friends-with-benefits-zone is a thing for women, or so I have heard.

Posted
My question is, do women have that same window? Like if she doesn't make a move and/or show signs of attraction dude will friendzone her? And once she's banished to the friendzone, is there any hope of coming from it?
Speaking for myself, women don't have a limited window of opportunity. I've slept with several women who I had known for years. Ironically, in several of these cases, I thought I had been friend-zoned, so I never saw sex as a possibility.

Never seen or experienced such a thing.

 

However the friends-with-benefits-zone is a thing for women, or so I have heard.

I've put quite a few women in the friends-with-benefits-zone. Time wasn't a factor in that decision though. It only happened with women I deemed as not relationship material.
Posted

Pretty sure the "friendzone" is just what people use to describe a situation where they want someone who isn't reciprocating, so yes obviously it can happen to anyone and for all sorts of reasons.

  • Like 2
Posted

The friend zone for me has more to do with personality than physical attractiveness.

 

I tend to like a woman with a certain amount of sass and pizzazz. I've turned down women and put them in the friend box for simply being too nice. Too easygoing. Boring.

 

Sex is possible and could even be good. But, in the long-run, we wouldn't be able to fill each other's needs beyond sex. So, it's best to spare her feelings and not mislead her about the potential for something lasting. Into the friend box she goes.

  • Like 2
Posted
But, there's a window where if dude doesn't make a move or something, he'll get friendzoned.

 

can he be unfriendzoned if later he made a move?

Posted

Guys don't do that stuff.....Maybe the "new" feminized version of a man would, but not any in my circle or from my generation..

 

Its been my experience that a woman is entirely happy to have a circle of men around them...One may be the guy she calls when she loses the transmission in the car...Another one, maybe give her a few bucks for the holidays for the kids or help move a refrigerator or sofa...Another one that does her taxes...

 

And some may have all bases covered, but just like to feel like there are some men around that she could text or call..Its good for their ego and makes them feel self worth...

 

No guys in my circle would do this with women...If there is no chance of sex, then there is no "friendship"....Not that none of these guys don't have women they can call, none would really qualify as friends...or go out on a platonic type of hangout...have a few beers and watch a game, etc...

 

YMMV

 

TFY

Posted

Oh yes indeed. It's not so much timing like it is with women zoning a guy out.

 

However as far as friendzoning a woman (no FWB or relationship at all) is usually done on the purely physical level. Personally I'd also make a barrier at the FWB zone if the girl is attractive but shows over time undesirable girlfriend qualities. Things such as high jealousy, tendency to lie, etc would lead me to like them as a FWB but not as someone I'd seriously pursue.

  • Author
Posted
can he be unfriendzoned if later he made a move?

 

Meh, in my case, more than likely "no".

 

Cuz by the time he makes a move I probably already have someone else. Also, you can't help but wonder why he waited so long (ie had another woman he was working on) and who wants to be "default" chick?

Posted

I've seen men I know friend zone women. Usually it was either due to lack of attraction or compatibility reasons.

  • Like 2
Posted

It would be because I am not attracted or plain not interested romantically in the woman.

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Posted

Sure. I've ended up in a friendzone or a casual snogging zone. As surprising as it may be, not all guys are going to be attracted to me :p

  • Like 2
Posted
A lot of guys don't friendzone women, but we do FWB-zone them.

 

Sure. I've ended up in a friendzone or a casual snogging zone. As surprising as it may be, not all guys are going to be attracted to me :p

 

When it comes to rejection or friend zone, I don't think men and women are that different. It's for the same reasons.

 

Though one could argue that guys are more likely to be friend zoned.

Posted

Ill friend zone woman for a number of reasons: lack of attraction, lack of connection and lack of affection.

 

You'll know you've been friend zoned by me when: I end our date with a hug, I stop responding to your texts in a timely fashion and I start the fade.

 

Hasta la vista, baby!

Posted
When it comes to rejection or friend zone, I don't think men and women are that different. It's for the same reasons.

 

Though one could argue that guys are more likely to be friend zoned.

The difference is that women keep their "friend zoned" friends as an emotional comodity and men keep their "friend zoned" friends as a sexual comodity.

Men do not often frienzone but FWBzone....

 

Women look for emotional attention and men look for physical gratification ... both are really wrong and damaging for the other person approaches..

Posted

In my entire life I've never known men who do this. It sounds kind of girly.

The men I've known in my life are not interested in having platonic female friends.

  • Like 1
Posted

Yeah guys have friendzoned me in the past 'cause they are not attracted to my particular look. I'm a curvy brunette, average size boobs and big butt. Some guys don't like all or a certain one of those features. I also know when I am batting out of my league and the guy is subconsciously thinking he can do better than me. Sometimes the guy just says he prefers blondes or redheads or whatever.

 

Some guys friendzoned me 'cause they probably think I'm boring. I'm a quiet girl, especially with people I've only just met. I prefer to be a social observer and then bring out the real thecrucible :laugh:. I'm a bit of a nerd, frankly.

 

All I know is that it doesn't seem to work being too nice to a guy. Whenever I act like the guy doesn't exist but not to the point I'm actually being rude, he's usually more interested in me than if I actually approached him and made my interest obvious.

Posted
Yep, time to flip the script...

 

=

 

My question is, do women have that same window? Like if she doesn't make a move and/or show signs of attraction dude will friendzone her? And once she's banished to the friendzone, is there any hope of coming from it?

 

With most guys, if they're up for sex with a particular lady, that doesn't generally die out, short term anyway. I preface it with sex because that's the main reason a lady will catch a guy's eye, else he'll be tossing back brews and shooting the breeze with his buds. If she doesn't catch his eye immediately, at least being fully within his gaze, that's not likely to change. That applies to most men I've known personally in life over yeesh some 50 decades, near to that sexually potent, meaning where girls made a guy sexually aroused. However, we're all individuals so exceptions and differences occur.

 

I mean, we women are schooled not to be too pushy, let men do the hard work cuz if you're too easy, he won't have to "earn" you and even if you two kick it off, he'll lose interest quick cuz you were too easy/available. But still, IMO, if you don't act soon enough, he may also think you're a tease and/or not interested?

 

If he's attracted sexually, IMO it's not dire, all else being equal. That applies even if he's been given a couple mild brush-offs. I hope you know what I mean by that. Think 'maybe'. IME, girls had that figured out by 11 or 12.

 

Since you brought up the friendzone, I can give you an example from my own experience.

 

I encountered someone a few years ago who was, eh, wow, and flirty too. I had been divorced a couple years and didn't date and the attention was nice. No apparent wedding ring. Eh, however, I know my demographic only too well so let things ride a bit and, sure enough, she was married, so I kept any associations either purely business or personal but friendly, not flirty.

 

What I found, her later getting divorced and we still having quite personal interactions was that, once it was gone for me, shut off, that visceral draw wasn't there. If suddenly she asked me on a date, never would happen around here but just say hypothetical, I wouldn't jump at the chance. That's the exception and, trust me, it's an exception. She's the one I've written about in the past that I'd sense all the male eyes in the shop on us, well her, when we'd be out and talking. Head turner. Smart as a whip. Yet, that 'umph' is gone so it's gone.

 

Clear as mud? Yeah, well, I dealt with it with women for decades so I can empathize with your questions. Good luck!

Posted
Yep, time to flip the script...

 

Ok, I know we women generally like know within first 15 minutes of meeting a guy if we're capable of having sex with him. But still, there are times when attraction may develop over time and maybe capacity to see him as object to desire sexually may come....But, there's a window where if dude doesn't make a move or something, he'll get friendzoned.

 

My question is, do women have that same window? Like if she doesn't make a move and/or show signs of attraction dude will friendzone her? And once she's banished to the friendzone, is there any hope of coming from it?

 

I mean, we women are schooled not to be too pushy, let men do the hard work cuz if you're too easy, he won't have to "earn" you and even if you two kick it off, he'll lose interest quick cuz you were too easy/available. But still, IMO, if you don't act soon enough, he may also think you're a tease and/or not interested?

 

For me there is a definite point in time where if we haven't gotten physical yet, it grows increasingly unlikely that we ever will. It's like a surge of attraction that begins and then tapers off and continues to decline if there hasn't been that physical connection early on in the game.

 

After that point I will essentially friend zone a girl. It's not necessarily that I will lose interest in sex with her, just in making the effort. It will seem like its not worth the effort. There is currently this cute girl I know who is very pretty, but extremely religious. She views sex as something you shouldn't rush into, which is a huge turnoff. It's like why should I have to jump through all these hoops for this girl when there are 20 more waiting who are fun and positive about sex, and are smart and have good personalities.

 

On the other hand if I meet a woman and there is that spark, and then we connect and then have sex, I will in no way discard her or cut her off. For me sex is usually the foundation for a positive relationship.

Posted

Yeah, it can go both ways for sure. There's no real rules when it comes to dating and attraction. It just happens or it doesn't.

 

Funnily enough, I've friendzoned girls after I've thought they'd already friendzoned me. Like we've been out, but despite me making it clear I'm interested they've not reciprocated. I've therefore backed off, kept it friendly and just left them in that zone. Only later on they've tried to take things further or asked why I didn't and I've been left having to explain that I was interested, but their actions indicated they weren't.. so I walked away.

 

However, I firmly believe that once in the friendzone, whether male or female, it's very hard to get out. You may get into the "friend with benefits" zone, but that's all it will often be.

 

Hence why I'm a firm believer that if you want something, you should go get it. If you fancy someone and want them, make sure they know it. Don't play games or hard to get. Yes we all enjoy that initial bit of chasing in the early days, but don't take it too far. We all have time limits when it comes to fueling those fires of attraction, and they can easily burn out or be lit by someone else.

Posted
F

After that point I will essentially friend zone a girl. It's not necessarily that I will lose interest in sex with her, just in making the effort. It will seem like its not worth the effort. There is currently this cute girl I know who is very pretty, but extremely religious. She views sex as something you shouldn't rush into, which is a huge turnoff. It's like why should I have to jump through all these hoops for this girl when there are 20 more waiting who are fun and positive about sex, and are smart and have good personalities.

 

On the other hand if I meet a woman and there is that spark, and then we connect and then have sex, I will in no way discard her or cut her off. For me sex is usually the foundation for a positive relationship.

 

yes, because all you want is sex at this stage of your life.

 

but if you want to get marry, which kind of girl would you prefer?

 

so there is no lost for the girl here. you are not looking for the same thing.

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