Would you ever reconcile with a previous partner/spouse over time? If so, why?

[DarrenB]

Title for discussion is self-explanatory. Keen to see who believes in reconciliation.

[Herbalist]

I personally would not. But then I don't think I have ever actually been in love before so.

[Gaeta]

I did.

 

We were married. As Catholic we are meant to be married for life.

 

We had a child together.

 

I left for a few months and we worked things out.

 

We did not really worked things out, we just delayed the inevitable. We divorced 6 years later.

[SammySammy]

No. Relationships end for a reason. For me, it's usually because of a fundamental flaw in the relationship that is unlikely to change over time.

 

It would be like the proverbial dog returning to its own vomit.

[travelbug1996]

I still have a fondness and love for my ex. We broke up because he wasn't willing to compromise and meet me in the middle.

 

If he changed his mind about giving what I need at a basic level I would definitely reconsider getting back together.

 

We had a lot of fun together just couldn't agree on a compromise.

[Toodaloo]

No. The problems that caused the break up would still be there.

 

The only ones I would even think to consider were the guys from college who were more flings than full on relationships.

 

I hold some of the men I have dated in very high regard and am very fond of them but fact remains that we are not compatible as a couple. Friends perhaps, lovers and partners not. Why put further pressure on the friendship we managed to maintain (which was really difficult and very hard work and demanded a lot of honesty and acceptance on both sides...) by trying again?

 

There are also exes that I do not hold in high regard who quite frankly if I never see them again it will be no skin off of my nose. Why would I go back there again? I have no feeling or emotion for them at all and don't particularly ever want to see them ever again. Its that simple.

 

People do not change. They are who they are. Myself included.

[Buddhist]

No. Each relationship I have had ran it's full course. I went as far as it was going to go and they ended because of basic incompatibilities. Those things will not now be different. So no point in going there again. It's a journey I've already taken.

[spideywoman]

I would, only if we both managed to address the issues that caused the break up in the first place. If those aren't resolved, it would just be a waste of time.

[cocorico]

No. If history interested me, I wouldn't have dropped it as soon as I could in school. The future offers so many possibilities - why recycle mistakes when there are new ones to make?

[raybiztutor]

It is good to keep your relationship doors open. When closing the door of any relationship, it is advisable not to bang it in such a way that it would be difficult to reopen. As individuals, we always need each other, you might need to reconnect in future for some other reasons and benefits, not really being in relationship again per say. For me, it is not bad keeping the doors open.

[smudge21]

When I still have some feelings for them, I always wish that we'd meet up again, planned or accidental, just anything to see them. However, once the feelings have gone and they've moved into that category of "meh" when thinking about them, then I no longer care and if asked, I would simply reply with "if we bumped into each other I'd be polite, but I wouldn't go out of my way to see them". By that time, they mean zero to me - no love or hate, just a big fat zero, nada, zip, nothing. So the idea of a reconcile is pretty much out of the question as they are a stranger to me. Life's too short to waste it on people who wouldn't spend it with you.

[Popsicle]

I would not, even if I still loved them.

[Miss Peach]

The agree with the PP who said that my previous relationships ran their course so I wouldn't consider it unless there were some big tangible changes in the areas that broke the relationship down at a minimum.

[Otter2569]

Reconcile as in burry the hatchet, forgive and forget...sure I'm not one to carry a grudge anyway.

 

Reconcile as in get back together - highly unlikely. You had your change and you blew it. Next?

[Shanex]

I don't believe in reconciliation, when love and feelings were very strong and the breakup didn't go too well (as it almost always happen in these cases).

 

Trying to reconcile, even as friends, wouldn't work for me. It never did anyway.

[thecrucible]

I know I couldn't be friends with any exes but I'd be polite and talk to them if I saw them in person. After I've gotten over the break-up I've usually mellowed out and have a more balanced perspective on it.

 

But I'm a stubborn Scorpio (well that's what they say). I know exactly how they have wronged me and I am extremely unlikely to reconcile with them if I feel like they haven't changed/not acknowledged their wrongdoing. I know it sounds a little tit-for-tat but that's just it for me. I think they have vetoed themselves out of my life.

[Arieswoman]

I couldn't do it but I could see situations where it might be possible.

 

If a couple broke up through circumstances outside their control it might be possible if those stressers were no longer there.

 

eg A couple split up because of mean, interfering in-laws and go their separate ways.

25 years later they meet up again, the inlaws are now dead, the kids have left home and they decide to give it another shot. Yes, it could work.