FaithInTheDark Posted November 1, 2016 Posted November 1, 2016 (edited) My ex and i broke up a month ago and had been together for a year and three months. The break up was messy and he lashed out a lot...making it really hard for me. But I know it's his own personal issues he has and he later apologize for it but I still know it doesn't excuse it. He is my first love so it's been hard to let go.... this weekend I got drunk and showed up late at night to his place. he made me food and cuddled me in bed. He told me it was torture to have me lay next to him because he wanted to have sex. But knew it was wrong since we are not together anymore. I left his house and he told me he loves me and misses me. Two days later we texted and I said I was feeling lonely adjusting to all these changes. he asks if I wanted to come over to hang out, without prior relationship stuff or any involvement. So I stopped by and told him that I needed to know where he stood with us. Deep down inside know he's got way too many problems for me to deal with but I'll always love him and hope we can work. And I needed to know so I can mentally prepare myself for accepting it's over. He said:"I want to be independent....there's a slim chance we will ever be together again but also a chance we can work on a relationship in the future" He hugged me goodbye and said I love you. I not trying to jump back into bed with such a emotionally unstable guy but I truly love him. My question is, does it seem like he would ever. try to make it work?any insight. This is my first break up I cant tell if he wants to be with me or not....he gives me mixed signals Edited November 1, 2016 by FaithInTheDark
DarrenB Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 My ex and i broke up a month ago and had been together for a year and three months. The break up was messy and he lashed out a lot...making it really hard for me. But I know it's his own personal issues he has and he later apologize for it but I still know it doesn't excuse it. He's being incredibly sensible. For someone to announce that they'd prefer to be independent and give you a harsh reality of what the future between you two would presumably be like, I applaud him for that. I said this alot myself in my previous relationship, but failed to let go of her. I guess you could say I was still weak of the mind and had my priorities completely messed up. It sounds as if he's the opposite and understands what he needs to do, in order to regain closure for himself. Alot of people would just string you along and keep you as an option, so if all else fails they can just fall back on you. He's doing the mature thing and letting you go for now. I think, once he's certain that he's able to handle a relationship the right way, and handle life's daily hardships as well, I'm somewhat certain he would like to reconcile in future. I understand you miss and love him, and it's requited back from his behalf, but respect that he knows he needs to change and focus in the meantime, and you will have to let him. Give him some time, no set time, but a decent amount of time between the two of you apart may benefit you well. Try not to provoke him in any way, or do things to persuade him. I had this done to me alot in my previous R/S and it really annoyed me, because I was really doing everything in my power to accept a change/s in myself without interference. If he really loves you, he will return. Hopefully, a more progressed and better person than he originally was. If he does so in time, he has succeeded and I wish you the best of luck from there. However for now, take things slow. First breakups stick with you, and they're probably the most common for everyone in where they hope to reconcile immediately or after no thought as to why it ended in the first place. Acknowledge the above and be patient. 3
Author FaithInTheDark Posted November 2, 2016 Author Posted November 2, 2016 Thanks for your awesome feedback
Toodaloo Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 Faith you are not doing yourself any favours here. Time to get on with it. Time to cut the cord and learn how to deal with break ups. This guy has been honest. The chances are slim and next to nothing. Time to let go. 2
Zahara Posted November 2, 2016 Posted November 2, 2016 He said:"I want to be independent....there's a slim chance we will ever be together again but also a chance we can work on a relationship in the future" There is no chance that we will be together again but let me alleviate that painful realization you're feeling by feeding you BS that there could likely be a chance for reconciliation. Time to move on. Cut the cord.
Recommended Posts