Versacehottie Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 Hi Thanks! I didn't push him into anything for now, I even told him that I don't care that much about the title anymore, I just want to make sure he does like me a lot in the process. But I don't know this is right or not. Like I always wanna spend more time with him and start to compromise... I know that will lose his respect, but I find it's so hard to control myself. To me, all of what you are currently agreeing to with him is DEFEATING what you want. And i think it's contrary to the good advice you've been getting from the guy poster. You are agreeing to casual when it's not what you want IN HOPES that he will want more in the future--in the meantime by doing this, it degrades his respect for you (since he knows you want more and you are appearing desperate, even if you believe it's somewhat concealed). It's simple, to me, you are at a crossroads. Use almost the exact line word for word to say that you're in a place now where casual isn't what you want as he worded it. That's your best chance. This current tactic will erode your self-esteem and your chances with him. The act of being able to control yourself to get what you want (including when it comes to the hard parts of "letting him go") is your best chance to get what you want and be most attractive to him. Try it. Good luck 3
Justanaverageguy Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 why you hit the spot perfectly, I'm a cancer lol... okay now I feel like there are something cannot be explained by science. I kinda feel he is fine with my level of clingy now, but also I already try to hold myself in a lot situations so he wouldn't feel too much. Haha good guess. I didn't really have any idea on that one - Cancer is just usually a sign that has issues with Aquarius and also vice a versa. In some ways they are kind of opposites and they often don't "get" each other. These two types can actually work together if both sides understand how the other one works and are willing to adjust and compensate accordingly. In my opinion this is the real purpose of Astrology. Not to tell the future but simply to help you understand yourself, how you work and how others work so you understand how you can relate and work with them best. Much like a Myers Briggs profile. I kinda feel he is fine with my level of clingy now, but also I already try to hold myself in a lot situations so he wouldn't feel too much. And so I guess the pertinent question here - is do you really think this is a guy you want a long term relationship with ? Is holding yourself back something you want to do long term ? Because with your type vs his type generally it is something you will always feel you are doing. Is that what you want in a long term relationship ? Like I said I feel these types only work if both sides care enough about the other to make a compromise on the way they normally do things. I think this gives a good summary. https://www.astromatcha.com/astrology-compatibility/aquarius-compatibility/aquarius-man-and-cancer-woman/ Quote: - One of the major difficulties for this relationship is that the Cancer woman can be rather clingy and possessive. The Aquarius man is hard to pin down, and he becomes even more elusive when under pressure. The Cancer woman will have to learn to trust him without question; if she can do that, the chances are good that he will stay by her side through his own choice, but the mores she tries to force a commitment, the more chance she stands of losing him altogether. Aquarius man Cancer woman compatibility always takes the form of a delicate dance around the issue of commitment. well but another red flag just come out couple hours ago. I was really missing him earlier today and wanna see his photo on that online dating app we met before, surprisingly, he just updated his profile after thanksgiving. I don't think that is proper after the exclusive talk... This again doesn't surprise me. Like I've said you applied pressure to him to make a choice .... and guys like this often take that as a queue to pull back. Don't allow him to decide - dance away gently and make him come after you. If he doesn't then you know it wasn't to be. 1
Author Lily1234 Posted November 29, 2016 Author Posted November 29, 2016 really appreciate all your advice. I guess I need to tell all those thoughts to him when we meet this time, but there is really a lot mix signals that make me feel confused. Like he always feel he made me sad and I should leave him, but he would also want me to stay and ask me to meet more often. I don't wanna change him and I want to like him by the way he was, so I guess it just something only need my decision but not his opinion now. And I suddenly realized that there are different type of security, for me, security means being exclusive and attach to each other. But for him, security means always has the freedom to do what he want. That’s why he goes to the online dating app and updated his profile, cuz he felt insecure when I try to get closer.
Justanaverageguy Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 (edited) I guess I need to tell all those thoughts to him when we meet this time, but there is really a lot mix signals that make me feel confused. No - you don't need to give him these thoughts. In fact I think that would be a bad idea. Don't discuss it with him at all. You have already done that. You simply need to decide what you want and start acting appropriately. Stop asking him, stop explaining to him. Start doing. And I suddenly realized that there are different type of security, for me, security means being exclusive and attach to each other. But for him, security means always has the freedom to do what he want. Yes this I would agree with. Aqua people are often called "on\off" or "hot\cold" people. Because they love social interaction - love being with their partner - but also love alone time and love doing things with other people. This often comes off weirdly to people who don't understand them and don't know how they work. Because one day they are wanting to meet you - the next they want time to themselves. Again you have to decide if this is actually the type of guy you want to date long term because this is part of who he is. Edited November 30, 2016 by Justanaverageguy
Author Lily1234 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 A quick update, he is my boyfriend now Thanks guys!
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