lamar26 Posted November 1, 2016 Posted November 1, 2016 I am from Texas (23) she (whom I will call MRS) is from california (24). We dated 6 years, visiting every vacation. From what, I thought we had our whole life together until she decided to call it quits because I was "too jealous" and "cheating on her." We broke up once before and got back together. The problem I see here is she blames me for everything wrong in our relationship. My family told me she has no respect me for me, is mean to me, and I should stop talking to her all together. I am in pharmacy school and I almost failed a couple classes early on this semester because I was wrapped up around my break up. I have done a better job of getting over it, or just putting it on hold, but I just can't help but to think from time to time how wrong she is and what she is not telling me. For example, she went through my FB after I willingly gave her my password, and she broke up because I had a history of looking up other women. Yet she is physically talking to guys on her FB outright and one guy (I will call him AF) in particular commented on her posts everyday and she told me to stop worrying about it and that he was just a friend. She would reply every day and ignore me if I was on the same post as him, and after we broke up, she made him a drawing which she claimed was a contest on her FB. Yet I couldn't find the post with the contest and how strange AF happened to be the one who won. During her trip this summer, I asked her questions like who are your coworkers, or what did you do today, and she got mad at me and told me that she didn't care what I feel and that I need to stop being jealous. Some things that set off some red flags: She yelled at me during the most recent visit over something silly, she threatened numerous times to leave me because I wasn't man enough or immature or too depended on my parents, she was secretive with her phone by password protecting it or getting mad if I looked over, she got defensive when I asked questions, told me to call her instead of skype and that she was "too busy" for skype but always available for phone call. And the biggest red flag was she told me to stop calling her babe or I love you on FB because it was "unprofessional" and her bosses would see it. Then when we broke up, she was quick to delete all our pictures, and eventually quick to delete me off her profile. I guess I just miss the good times (there were a few) but I have accepted this break up might be permanent. What I really want is to find the closure that I deserve.... There is more to this story she is not telling me, and I feel like her way of blaming me for everything is 1. an excuse to find someone else or at the least have a reason to break up 2.) a way to feed her ego so she doesn't feel completely responsible for the break up.
Cephalopod Posted November 1, 2016 Posted November 1, 2016 She shows all the signs of cheating on you. Her accusing you of cheating is called "transference". Cheaters do it a lot. Count yourself lucky you didn't marry her. Anyway, don't ever get in a long distance relationship again. They almost never work out. 2
Author lamar26 Posted November 1, 2016 Author Posted November 1, 2016 She shows all the signs of cheating on you. Her accusing you of cheating is called "transference". Cheaters do it a lot. Count yourself lucky you didn't marry her. Anyway, don't ever get in a long distance relationship again. They almost never work out. Thank you Cephalopod. I am definitely not doing a LDR again just because of how emotionally taxing it is. I completely agree with you that she is hiding something. The only thing is I don't know what. What I do know is I deserve to be respected better. 1
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