ethereal_love Posted November 1, 2016 Posted November 1, 2016 (edited) Hi guys, I'm new to this forum. Ive been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years, we were best friends for about a year prior to dating. He was very flirtatious but he was like that with a few other girls as well (i didnt know until now). He was also still seeing his ex girlfriend (who he said he had broken up with completely). At this time i was just his friend but im still upset he lied to me..i would have never let him flirt with me if i had known he was still seeing her. Anyways at the end of that year i moved to a different city. We were messaging each other and calling literallly 24/7..he was also asking me to move back but i didnt because we werent yet official. So basically he had said everything to make me think there was something special between us. A month later and he told me theres a girl his mate is trying to set him up with...i asked whether he's interested and he said he only cares about me..next minute..the next day..he tells me he made out with her at a party. At the time he said it was because of alcohol, and we werent together so i let it go. About a month later he drove to my city to confess his feelinngs for me and asked me out officially and i said yes. Ive now moved back with him and we're together...the only problem iis that i see that girl quite a lot and the thought of them making out bugs the crap out of me and sometimes i end up fighting with him. He has no contact with her and completely ignores her..he's changed for the better. I just cant seem to get over his past lies and hookups while he was leading me on. I think the problem is that he's my first..and compeltely avoided random hookups because i was very goal orientated and wanted to get into grad school. another incidence that bothers me is a girl (a differnet one from above) who he a thing for when we were friends but apparently nothing happened between them. But i remember there was a week when he completely stopped talking to me because he was too busy with her ..studying at the library...normally he'd always study with me. this was before we became official so i cant say anything. However, just a couple of months ago i saw his texts with her and noticed that he went to her house. He normally tells me everything..but didnt even mention that he went over. I asked him and he said he went to get his sweater back that she's had for a year (from when they used to have study dates) and that was all. He said he didn't tell me because he didnt want me to worry. Im sure he didn't do anything with her..but im upset he didn't tell me before going. I think the problem is that he's my first..and i compeltely avoided random hookups because i was very goal orientated and wanted to get into Grad school. I know it sounds silly that his hookups while he was flirting with me and leading me on bug me so much. Maybe because i thought our moments were special and just involved us..any suggestions? sorry for the long post Edited November 1, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
mikeylo Posted November 1, 2016 Posted November 1, 2016 His behavior is not of someone who can be trusted with one woman. He has a ' thing ' going on with not just these 2 but more are there in his closets which you don't yet know about. It has nothing to do about you. It's all about him. A guy who jumps from one woman to another , is nothing but a loser. Most responses you will get here is : get over your insecurities, you have low self esteem, it was his past , we all have a past etc etc BUT your gut is telling you something, don't ignore it. Anyway, why is that girl still around ? A serious guy, would drop any woman like hot potato to avoid risking his girl but this guy is asking you,covertly, to suck it up. Don't. I can bet , he is chatting up more than you can think of.
stillafool Posted November 1, 2016 Posted November 1, 2016 This guy is basically a player. He will not be faithful. At his age he is going to want to experience a lot of pretty girls. I would let him go and concentrate on your goals.
Omei Posted November 1, 2016 Posted November 1, 2016 I'm not sure why you decided to move in with him given his behavior I hope you don't think by putting up with everything he'll become the guy you want. He does sound like a player and u wouldn't be surprised if he's still flirting with other girls when you're not present.
Author ethereal_love Posted November 1, 2016 Author Posted November 1, 2016 thanks for ur replies guys! and no i havent moved in with him. I've just moved back to the same city i was in before..where he also lives. We both go to the same uni..and that girl does as well.
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