Parker12 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 (edited) Hey loveshack community. I just wanted to release my story. If anyone can relate or have anything to say towards the matter, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Anyways, my ex-girlfriend, who I really came to admire and like though the relationship was only about 6 months long, broke up with me approaching the 6 month marker now. My question is, why am I still grieving it? I made much of a fool of myself after the breakup happened. Nothing more than the usual, "why do you feel this way?" and "think we can just talk it out?" stuff that follows with heartbreak. But I still made a fool of myself during it. We left on such good terms and respectably at first. But I just couldn't let it go. At first, right after the breakup, she said she would absolutely love to stay good friends and was wanting to give me a few days to get over the relationship before moving on. Like it was going to happen that quickly, but it made me happy to see she wanted to stick around. But I didn't let the relationship go and now she thinks I'm some sort of weird person with fixation issues and doesn't want anything to do with me. We've been in no contact for almost four months now and I'm having to hold myself back so much to not text her a friendly "hey" or something just to get over the drama of what happened in the past. The thing is, I know this won't help me. But it's been causing me so much depression recently. I can't get over the fact that I think I might have scared someone or ruined any reconciliation with a person I once cared about because of a misrepresentation (and, really, now that I look back on it,a rather inappropriate) show of care. I know this is probably all just a normal thing to go through. But I feel like something might be really wrong with me now. Some of my university colleagues, who I've gotten to know over the few years studying together, even see a big change in me. They say I appear distant and depressed. And I feel it as well. I'm not the happy, social, open person I once was. I feel (for lack of a better phrase) like a complete loser and maybe a creep for what happened. I've tried even talking to other girls as well to try and "get back on the horse" so to speak (nothing much, just talking really.) And I just can't do it. I feel so emotionally taxing. Something I've never been before. I've usually been a pretty relaxed person to talk to. I feel like, when I text someone especially, that I'm bothering their day and they don't really want to talk to me. They're just being polite. My parent's advice is "just don't speak depression over yourself and you won't be so depressed." But no matter how much I try to be positive and confident in myself, I just can't seem to keep it for long. What in the world is going on with me? This shouldn't be bothering me as much as it is. I should have an open heart ready to go out in the world and try again. It was a short relationship! Why am I still so fixated on this one person? I've tried excercising, meditation, opening up to friends and family. Why am I struggling so hard to let this go? What do I do? Because I know I'm not crazy. But maybe there's some obsessive behavior I need to talk through with someone or something. What's going on? Edited October 31, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs, please use them
LastAcorn99 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 (edited) Any breakup is hard, and it’s always harder for the more invested party in the relationship to get over it -- it seems to be the case in your story. If talking to your friends and family are not really helping you, I would suggest that you seek the help of a counselor. Depressive feelings should not be swept under the rug, please get help. Sending you prayers! Edited October 31, 2016 by LastAcorn99
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