Don'tknowwhattodo Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I feel completely hopeless, not in a suicidal way, but just in a sense that I don't believe that I can ever move on or be OK. I was with my ex for 5 years. I have a lot of guilt over the issues I brought into the relationship - I was very difficult, bad-tempered, critical, demanding. He was the more normal and stable one. I don't want to get into that too much, just because I feel so much guilt. And these issues persisted after we broke up. For 6 years after our breakup, we were best friends (I guess less so toward the end). We were platonic, but neither one of us was dating anyone else, and we spoke all the time, multiple times a day, went on vacations together. He really was and is the most important person in the world to me - my family. I felt he was getting more distant. And I was trying to pull away, and I kind of stopped talking to him, and he didn't try to talk to me either. Anyways, I couldn't do it, so I called him. He told me that he was seeing someone else, and even if he wasn't, I would be the last person he would want to have a relationship with - he didn't say it in a mean way or out of anger, he just was trying to make it very clear I should move on. He said he was OK with us speaking occasionally, but that's about it. Again, I tried to go no contact, but I have just been falling apart. I have been trying to so everything 'right'. I eat heathy, exercise, ans get out to meet people. I do activities and even went on a date, but I am just not interested in people. I don't want to, but I do. But it's not helping. It's getting worse and worse. I called him two more times - just hearing his voice calms me down for a little bit,and I can't stop, even though I know I shouldn't be doing it. But I guess my brain refuses to accept that he can just move on after 11 years. I have tried to start over without him before. I have always failed. And I don't believe I can do it now. I don't expect anyone to solve it for me. I just need a place to talk. 2
CristinaKass Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I'm so sorry about this happening to you! I can honestly feel your pain, Its not easy at all, and you don't have to feel guilty about it, if you made mistakes, so did him, and realizing that you made mistakes is great for you because now you can work in them and become a better version of yourself. I want you to watch a movie on youtube, search for "the secret". Its about what you atrack to your life by feeling it and by attitude. That can drastically change your mood and redirection your vibes. Second, your ex boyfriend. youve been separeted for 6 years? its 11 years of love and friendship, and that you can erase easily, obviously. So, if its hard for you, it may be hard for him aswell.. What you need to do now is VALIDATE and VALIDATE what he is feeling. You CANT force him to talk to you if he is not ready. GO NC and really do not contact him for a period of time. 30 days minimun. Use that time to work again in yourself and to redirection your vibes like i told you. Then after 30 days, his bad feelings about you will fade eventually and he will remember all the positive memories and start wondering where are you and what are you doing. Thats where you can reconect with him and see what happens. But not asking to get back together. Just casual texts you can learn on the internet with exrecovery.com I think (just google it) he has a lot of blogs to learn about it.... and if you two are meant to be, you will be together.
LastAcorn99 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I’m so sorry about your situation. Breakup is hard for anyone, and some takes longer than most to move one -- don’t be too hard on yourself. That said, I would suggest that you surround yourself with friends and family who can support and encourage you during this time. Also, given what you shared about your issues, have you considered seeing a counselor? Sending you warm hugs.
Recommended Posts