malebroken Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 What's Ppl experience of being blocked? Personally.. all my exs friends n family have blocked me. This is worse as alot I was friends with before I got with her.
umirano Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 You don't get to be upset. No one owes you their friendship. Fb or not. I've blocked people. They've kept posting annoying car selfies or I've been madly in love and then heartbroken. A heartbreak is a serious situation. Removing everything that reminds you daily of why you're heartbroken isn't only effective in recovering, it is simply necessary. Fb friendships mean nothing anyway. Fb is just a very colorful contact list. 2
JewelD Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I don't really like Facebook too much besides the BuzzFeed articles and book recommendations but my ex best friend unfriended me a while ago. I didn't give a **** because we weren't friends anymore. I think that's how people should feel in general about being blocked. It really doesnt come as a surprise. And if someone doesn't want anything to do with you, then screw them. 3
DarrenB Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I don't like the concept of social networking and media at all, I'll be honest. If it wasn't for business/finance related reasons, or be able to keep in touch with various acquaintances and relatives elsewhere, I wouldn't use it at all. What most people assume when they 'block' someone on social networking is: 'I block said person on here, they're blocked from my life. Blocked from contacting me, vise versa, unable to see and hear about them, vise versa'. I just don't feel because of a failed R/S with someone or something else, should mean that mutual friends between the two of you have to block you especially, but most of the time they go with 'who they prefer' or 'who controls them the most' to persuade them to do so. It's all bull**** really. I'd rather use a string and tincan to communicate with people. 1
guest569 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 You don't get to be upset. No one owes you their friendship. Fb or not. I've blocked people. They've kept posting annoying car selfies or I've been madly in love and then heartbroken. A heartbreak is a serious situation. Removing everything that reminds you daily of why you're heartbroken isn't only effective in recovering, it is simply necessary. Fb friendships mean nothing anyway. Fb is just a very colorful contact list. You "don't get to be upset"? Come on. People can feel what they want. Losing touch with an ex, their friends and family hurts. I get what you are saying about it helping with recovery. OP I wouldn't take it too personally, as it is part of breaking up. It hurts but you will be better off 2
guest569 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 Oh, by the way.. i blocked my exs and their friends after the break ups and wasnt being mean. Just trying to do what i thought was for the best.. it was hard but i felt better off. 1
ChickiePops Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 You "don't get to be upset"? Come on. People can feel what they want. Losing touch with an ex, their friends and family hurts. I get what you are saying about it helping with recovery. OP I wouldn't take it too personally, as it is part of breaking up. It hurts but you will be better off Fair enough. I would say upset is the wrong word. But that poster has a point..nobody owes anyone friendship. 2
guest569 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 Fair enough. I would say upset is the wrong word. But that poster has a point..nobody owes anyone friendship. I don't think the OP was implying that these people "owe" them a friendship. 2
Frozensushi Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 What's Ppl experience of being blocked? Personally.. all my exs friends n family have blocked me. This is worse as alot I was friends with before I got with her. Facebook should be called Fakebook. In my opinion, it's not real, it's just a fallacy. It's a lot of drama and nonsense. People are far too addicted to it. I hate it. After our breakup, my Ex blocked me and my entire family. A bunch of mutual acquaintances un-friended me as well. I really don't care. I don't want to ever see my Ex, her family or friends for as long as I live. Yes, I liked them all very much, but that chapter in my life is painful and it's just better I'm not reminded of it. You don't get to be upset. Actually, the OP has every right to feel whatever they want. Breakups are hard, getting blocked on FB can hurt when you are in the throes of heartache. Have a little empathy, the OP is hurting. 3
umirano Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 Yes, internally we get to feel whatever we want. But towards other people, esp your ex, esp if they dumped you, you will look weak and desperate. And if you've been the dumper you have even less the right to decide the level of the new relationship. And really also on the inside I'd advocate against cultivating these emotions. How helpful do you think it is in processing the BU when you tend to your feelings of hurt and sadness? As long as you are in a relationship you mutually owe each other respect and kindness. After a BU, after you've been told that you're no longer wanted in their lives, or have told so to them, you lose all entitlement, or obligation, to any level of friendship. Some people can stay friends and that's great. But some can't and they have no obligation to whatsoever. After a BU either side has every right, and probably the obligation, to do what is best for them. And the slate is clean. It's as if you've never met. It's fine to not be Fb friends. 1
keiji Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 What's Ppl experience of being blocked? Personally.. all my exs friends n family have blocked me. This is worse as alot I was friends with before I got with her. Blocking someone on social media is most of the time a self-preservation measure. I don't want to see how my ex is doing, and unfortunately, keeping their friends means I will still be seeing her pictures, sooner or later including her and her new boyfriend. I immediately block everyone in that person's circle regardless of what they think. Sometimes I've let them know that it was nothing personal against them, just a protective action. Others, I couldn't care less what they made of it. When it's the other way around, you can also assume that your ex has asked everyone to block you to avoid unnecessary pain. Another possible reason is anger, which is completely normal when a relationship has gone wrong. I wouldn't think much of it. 1
umirano Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I'm just seeing that the OP is asking about real life friendships that predate the ended relationship. I'd say that if these are actually durable, genuine friendships they should be unaffected unless the ex partner asked the family members to go NC as well.
confusedgirlfriend11 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I do think sometimes you must remove all traces of that person to move on. Obviously this isn't always an option, especially those when children in a relationship are involved but generally by removing people or blocking it saves you the temptation to 'research/stalk' them online. Let's be honest, people will only put on facebook how wonderful things are so it's only going to hurt more. I even delete any pictures of us together. It hurts too much to be looking through my pictures and see someone I loved. 2
Frozensushi Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 After a BU either side has every right, and probably the obligation, to do what is best for them. And the slate is clean. It's as if you've never met. It's fine to not be Fb friends. I agree. The sooner your Ex becomes a total stranger the better. I believe, when you are alone, it's good to feel all those painful emotions. Let it all out. Bottling them up can do more harm than good. If you are actually in love with someone, there's an attachment there that's not easily broken. Feeling the pain helps with the detachment process. I do think sometimes you must remove all traces of that person to move on. I did this right away. I deleted thousands of photos off my phone, Google cloud and Verizon cloud. I also put all the gifts my Ex gave me into a box and dropped it off at the salvation army. I removed anything that reminds me of my Ex. It's been helpful in my recovery. Heck, if I had the means I'd move to a new city and really start fresh! 1
marky00 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 Hmmm, Some of you are going to great lengths to get over your Ex. In some ways, doing all those things kind of make the breakup an even bigger event. NC in itself should be enough. I personally feel like the people that go to extreme lengths to forget about their Ex actually suffer more long-term. Sometimes, you better off staying with the pain a little longer. I can honestly now look at a photo of My Ex and her new bf and sure it would bother me.. but not in a huge way. I only reached that point by staying with the pain and emotions for long enough and also allowed myself to be exposed to the odd hurtful encounter or memory or whatever. Everyone is different but for me... I don't want to be the person who can't handle looking at a pic several years from now. I'd prefer to deal with the pain properly now, rather than just forgetting ASAP and then dealing with more pain in the future.
keiji Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 NC in itself should be enough. I personally feel like the people that go to extreme lengths to forget about their Ex actually suffer more long-term. Sometimes, you better off staying with the pain a little longer. I can honestly now look at a photo of My Ex and her new bf and sure it would bother me.. but not in a huge way. I only reached that point by staying with the pain and emotions for long enough and also allowed myself to be exposed to the odd hurtful encounter or memory or whatever. Everyone is different but for me... I don't want to be the person who can't handle looking at a pic several years from now. I'd prefer to deal with the pain properly now, rather than just forgetting ASAP and then dealing with more pain in the future. Blocking someone on social media is part of NC. Years from now, as you said. But when the breakup is recent, that only contributes to the suffering you're going through even when you're not seeing them. Why put yourself through the pain of seeing them carry on happily or posting holiday pics with their new SO when you are a click away from avoiding it? 1
ChickiePops Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I don't think the OP was implying that these people "owe" them a friendship. I was responding to the poster who did say that as it was difficult to tell what the OP actually was saying...
marky00 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 Blocking someone on social media is part of NC. Years from now, as you said. But when the breakup is recent, that only contributes to the suffering you're going through even when you're not seeing them. Why put yourself through the pain of seeing them carry on happily or posting holiday pics with their new SO when you are a click away from avoiding it? You got me all wrong. People were talking about forgetting about the Ex ASAP, deleting everything, blocking all over the place. Sure, do that if that what helps you but I am a strong believer the pain always gets dealt with at some stage. Do not run away from it. Not saying you should nose around on social media days after a breakup but no need to make drastic changes. Let it sink in and face the pain. Its the best way for the longer-term.
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