Toodaloo Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 I don't care to analyse her blocking you and to be blunt you shouldn't either. Just ignore. If you see mutual friends mention it to them but say that you don't have any of her stuff so whats there to send and you don't want to hear from her again. The message will get through that way. Leave it.
Samhain Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 Every individual controls their own life. Caring about whether she is regaining control is you giving her control. If you were moving on and you were happy, you wouldn't care about any of this. If you don't have her student card then there's nothing you need to do. Checking her instagram after you were ignoring her to see if you were blocked is game playing. Ignore her because you are done and you don't want any involvement with her any longer, not as a means of "control". The concept of No Contact isn't to manipulate an ex partner into reaching out, or as a means to barter control. It's exactly what it says.. No Contact, ever, so that you can heal and move on to healthier relationships and leave your ex in the past where she belongs.
aloneinaz Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 First of all, good on you to ignore her. Second of all, BLOCK her phone number of even better, change your number. Cut the cord. You don't need her to have any means to contact you. Look at what's it's doing to you. Then, stop with all the stupid game playing with social media. Simply block her on all your sites. The best thing a dumpee can do is vanish from a dumper. It knocks the chip off their shoulder. They made the decision to end it and not want you in their life anymore. So, you have no obligation to ever speak to them again. It's been a month now, right? Get out there and date others. Don't even think about getting back together again for more drama, bs, and another dumping..
Author Beepeear Posted October 25, 2016 Author Posted October 25, 2016 Ex blocked me then unblocked me? UPDATE- My last post explains the situation but to give a brief description My ex broke up with me, I went no contsct after a couple days begging (mistake) after almost two months of no contact she messages me asking for her things back (although I asked her plenty of times before, and I have also discarded her things now) After ignoring her messages she blocks me, and then I notice today (about a week after she blocked me) she has unblocked me and has put her account to open instead of private. I have her blocked on everything else except Instagram, she can't stalk my page as I'm on private. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced an ex like this?
keiji Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 Ex blocked me then unblocked me? UPDATE- My last post explains the situation but to give a brief description My ex broke up with me, I went no contsct after a couple days begging (mistake) after almost two months of no contact she messages me asking for her things back (although I asked her plenty of times before, and I have also discarded her things now) After ignoring her messages she blocks me, and then I notice today (about a week after she blocked me) she has unblocked me and has put her account to open instead of private. I have her blocked on everything else except Instagram, she can't stalk my page as I'm on private. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced an ex like this? I'd advise you to try not to read too much into those apparent signs. Some may not even be related to you. We tend to make convenient associations that make us feel better by thinking that we're still in their minds and hearts, but most of the time is simply not true or it leads nowhere anyway. If she wants you back, she'll find a way to let you know. People don't take the risk of losing someone by sending vague signals that may be misunderstood. 2
Frozensushi Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 If she wants you back, she'll find a way to let you know. People don't take the risk of losing someone by sending vague signals that may be misunderstood. This was my feeling. If someone truly loved and cared about you, didn't want to lose you forever they would find some way to let you know. Having this frame of mind actually helps me with moving on. Why should I pine away for someone who doesn't want to be with me? Right? 1
Author Beepeear Posted October 25, 2016 Author Posted October 25, 2016 Thanks everyone, really appreciate your responses. It totally makes sense, if I wanted to reconcile with someone I would do more than just send subliminal messages. Although the last time she tried to contact me I did ignore her, but with reason because I told her before I went full NC only to contact me If she wanted something romantic. And she messaged me asking for things back. But regardless, she needs to make a clear message that she wants me And not do subliminals, and I will follow this principle until well, until she messages me. Thanks everyone!
typingrandma Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 Ex blocked me then unblocked me? UPDATE- My last post explains the situation but to give a brief description My ex broke up with me, I went no contsct after a couple days begging (mistake) after almost two months of no contact she messages me asking for her things back (although I asked her plenty of times before, and I have also discarded her things now) After ignoring her messages she blocks me, and then I notice today (about a week after she blocked me) she has unblocked me and has put her account to open instead of private. I have her blocked on everything else except Instagram, she can't stalk my page as I'm on private. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced an ex like this? Hi Beepeear: I can see why this could be confusing. Have you considered perhaps she simply wants her things back?? Maybe she got to thinking after she blocked you that you would be unable to respond to her to give her back her things?? Maybe she unblocked you for that reason. If you have already trashed her stuff, this could be an issue. But don't you think she needs to know that so she can move on knowing that is the case?? Good luck!
Author Beepeear Posted October 30, 2016 Author Posted October 30, 2016 Hello, I'll write my story in points as it's quite long and would be easier for you guys to read. - me and my ex were together for around 14 months - she told me I was her first love, and she never met anyone like me - she often told me how she couldn't wait to have a future with me etc. - we did argue a fair amount but it always ended up with us getting back together - we had a holiday together in August and a week after we got home she ended it - she ended it because she didn't like the way I spoke about her friends (although they didn't like me either - I begged for a day or two and then went no contact, but then messaged her letting her know that she should only message me if she wants a romantic relationship with me - she messages me a month later asking for her things back which I didn't have so I ignored her messages, she then blocks me after sending a couple more messages but then unblockes me a few days - a week later two months after the break up I notice she has got in a relationship with one of her close (best) friends, I'm not sure how to feel, I'm not distraught it just feels strange to see her with someone else. What would you all suggest? Is this a rebound? Thanks everyone.
HumanMachine Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 And this is why you don't break nc.. How did you find out that she had a new partner? Social media? Why isn't she blocked? What do I suggest? Delete her from everything and move on with your life, she isn't coming back. Is the new partner a rebound? He could be, or he could be the love of her life. Either way it doesn't matter - you two are FINISHED. 2
Satu Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 snip she messages me a month later asking for her things back which I didn't have so *I ignored her messages, she then blocks me after sending a couple more messages but then unblockes me a few days - a week later You haven't been doing NC; you've been doing "monitor and ignore." NC will help you move forward; "monitor and ignore" will keep you stuck exactly where you are right now. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete her from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Take care.
Author Beepeear Posted October 30, 2016 Author Posted October 30, 2016 I have her blocked on everything other than Instagram. I am aware that she may be happy with this new person but it's just hard to think that if someone feels so strongly as they said during the relationship that they can move in no longer than two months.
Author Beepeear Posted October 30, 2016 Author Posted October 30, 2016 snip You haven't been doing NC; you've been doing "monitor and ignore." NC will help you move forward; "monitor and ignore" will keep you stuck exactly where you are right now. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete her from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Take care. I understand I should block her but blocking her now makes it seem like I'm petty if you know what I mean, like I don't want her to see she's effected me by me blocking her.
Blanco Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 I have her blocked on everything other than Instagram. I am aware that she may be happy with this new person but it's just hard to think that if someone feels so strongly as they said during the relationship that they can move in no longer than two months. It happens and it's a waste of time to spend too long thinking about why it may or may not be a rebound. Some people simply move on quickly and are never single for very long. My last girlfriend has probably been totally single and unattached a total of six months in her 15+ years of being an "adult." Everyone thought the guy she got with after me (also about two months post-breakup) was a rebound. I'm pretty sure they're still together and it'll be two years within the next few months.
Kelley Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 Don't concentrate too much on what she said in the relationship, think about her actions! She has moved on and is in a new relationship. Looking after your own feelings and wellbeing is not being petty it's called being sensible! Get some self respect. block her on everything and just move on. She doesn't care about your feelings and to be honest if you did block her on everything, she wouldn't give it a second thought her new boyfriend is now her priority. Be your own priority now and heal.
dumbass2 Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 I understand I should block her but blocking her now makes it seem like I'm petty if you know what I mean, like I don't want her to see she's effected me by me blocking her. You're not together any more. You have to get into the mindset that you don't care what she thinks (it doesn't matter, she doesn't care about you) and do what you feel you need to do to help you move on as she has.
Author Beepeear Posted October 30, 2016 Author Posted October 30, 2016 I'd like to thank you all for your responses you have really given me a new perspective on this I feel like I wasn't blocking her off everything just in the hope that if she did come back she had something to reach out to me on. But then I realised, she knows where I live and me just keeping that social media open is keeping the "hope" alive which is just dragging me down, it's stopping me from completely letting go. I have been speaking to new people since about a week after the break up, nothing overly serious just at the stage of arranging dates and what not. She has moved on and I have to accept that and focus on myself, a new start. If she does feel a need to try reconcile with me, she can do so, but I'm not paying attention to it, I'm focusing on me Thanks for your help everyone!
Alamo657 Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 - she ended it because she didn't like the way I spoke about her friends (although they didn't like me either two months after the break up I notice she has got in a relationship with one of her close (best) friends Actually what happened is that she and her "friend" were attracted to each others, he badmouthed you because he was jealous, and she bought it because she was attracted to him. You were just a tool to help 2 unstable people get together trough drama at your expense.
Chief1970 Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 From experience, if this guy was a close friend, he was already in the picture prior to breakup.
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