upset man Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 (edited) Hello friends, Here is my story in brief. Before my marriage I was in a relationship with a girl, the girl loves me too. One day I told her that my family fixed my marriage with other girl, she became upset but I was also helpless as I could not deny my family decision. Finally I married according to my family.Even after marriage I and that girl again in relationships and we decided to marry again but when times go on she felt jealous at me as I spent night with my wife. Now a another boy is coming to her life and she told me that I should leave her as there is no future of our relationship also she could not hurt her parents by marriage with me as I have already wife. So I am very upset if she really loves me then why she is leaving/avoiding me, why she did not stop our relationship just after marriage? ?Now she told me that I should leave her. But my mind is not working. Please give some comments and what should I do? Should I tell that boy that we had a Deep relationship With her so please don't accept this girl.. .im just lost please help me. Edited October 30, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs and move to Infidelity
Ruffian1 Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 (edited) Leave her alone and attend to you wife. You are being enormously SELFISH. You have a W. I was also helpless as I could not deny my family decession. You had your chance to tell your family no and marry the first girl. Let her have a chance to get a Husband to care for her and make a family. What you want her to be your side-piece forever? Divorce your W and marry the OW or leave her ALONE. Should I tell that boy that we had a Deep relationship With her so please don't accept this girl.. NO, leave them alone. Go away, let her have a H, why would you do that to her? You made your choice, parents or not. You just want both, admit it. Edited October 30, 2016 by Ruffian1 4
spideywoman Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 agree with Ruffian. you're being selfish, OP. you weren't brave enough to stand up to your family and say 'no' to an arranged marriage while you say you were in love with someone else. i don't know this girl of yours but she deserves better. she gave you her time and her energy and hoped that you would end your marriage to be with her but you didn't do that. whether or not it works out she now has a chance with this new guy. don't get involved, don't contact him, it's not your place. leave her alone and respect her wishes. or, as ruffian said, get a divorce and give the girl you say you love a chance. but something tells me you'll never do that _ you just don't want anyone else to have her.
aileD Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 She's right. If there is no future for you're relationship with her because you are married, then you need to let her go. Real love isn't selfish. If you truly love her you will set her free so she can be with someone who is free to give her the love and life she deserves. And you will be happy for her. 1
BaileyB Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 Leave her alone. You are married - you chose another woman. Allow her to move on and try to find happiness with another man. It is the only kind and respectful thing to do. If you do not leave her alone, if you tell this man about your relationship, you will be hurting her and you will be a terrible, terrible person. Move on with your life with your wife and forget this other woman.
DKT3 Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 agree with Ruffian. you're being selfish, OP. you weren't brave enough to stand up to your family and say 'no' to an arranged marriage while you say you were in love with someone else. i don't know this girl of yours but she deserves better. she gave you her time and her energy and hoped that you would end your marriage to be with her but you didn't do that. whether or not it works out she now has a chance with this new guy. don't get involved, don't contact him, it's not your place. leave her alone and respect her wishes. or, as ruffian said, get a divorce and give the girl you say you love a chance. but something tells me you'll never do that _ you just don't want anyone else to have her. In those cultures it's not that simple as to just say no, it the way they know. But I agree, you need to let her go. 1
elaine567 Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 So I am very upset if she really loves me then why she is leaving/avoiding me, why she did not stop our relationship just after marriage? ?Now she told me that I should leave her. Love is not everlasting, we fall in love with those who we like, those who share our values, those who we see a future with. She loved you, but then you got married. She probably accepted that at first as it is part of your tradition and you were rail-roaded into it by your parents, but when you spent the night with your wife, reality hit her. She could not be with a man who has a wife, a wife he is sleeping with!!! Few women in love will tolerate that. YOU were no longer the man she thought you were, and she could no longer see a future with you. Love can die in an instant. She has the hope of a new future now. Leave her be, DO NOT try to mess things up for her. Have you not hurt her enough? Your wife is your new future. 1
Chica80 Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 I can tell you what because I am your girl....I am where she is or was. MM marraige was not arraigned but family, culture were factors. He could have chose not to marry, but ultimately he did because his love and devotion to his family are everything. Just lIke yours I presume. You could have chose not to marry, defy your family throw back all their love and all their sacrifices be selfish because it's about your happiness right? You made your choice. If you love her you have to let her go. She may have stayed in the beginning because she wasn't ready to end things. She loves you, you love her and that should be enough. But it's not. Let her be happy, let her be free.
ChickiePops Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 Yup, you're wrong. Leave her alone and let her go be happy.
sandylee1 Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 You should leave her alone and leave her new boyfriend alone too. Concentrate on your marriage and attend to your wife's needs. Despite culture and tradition, many men and women stand up to their families and marry who they want. You chose not to do that because your family means more to you than she does ..... so you need to live with the choice you've made. Would you be happy if your wife was secretly seeing an ex boyfriend? Stop being selfish and leave her alone.
spideywoman Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 In those cultures it's not that simple as to just say no, it the way they know. But I agree, you need to let her go. i am very familiar with those cultures, i come from one of them. if he has the wherewithal to come here and seek advice and be aghast at the unfairness of it all, he certainly has it in him to be able to stand up to family. further, he's a man _ in our cultures, it is believed men know best. so yes, family, duty, obligation, it's all very important around these parts but that doesn't mean you can't stand up for yourself. it's not mutually exclusive. tough, but it's always a choice.
Forever broken Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 Hello friends, Here is my story in brief. Before my marriage I was in a relationship with a girl, the girl loves me too. One day I told her that my family fixed my marriage with other girl, she became upset but I was also helpless as I could not deny my family decision. Finally I married according to my family.Even after marriage I and that girl again in relationships and we decided to marry again but when times go on she felt jealous at me as I spent night with my wife. Now a another boy is coming to her life and she told me that I should leave her as there is no future of our relationship also she could not hurt her parents by marriage with me as I have already wife. So I am very upset if she really loves me then why she is leaving/avoiding me, why she did not stop our relationship just after marriage? ?Now she told me that I should leave her. But my mind is not working. Please give some comments and what should I do? Should I tell that boy that we had a Deep relationship With her so please don't accept this girl.. .im just lost please help me. Am sorry but leave the girl alone and let her find happiness with someone else. Concentrate on yourself. 1
Ruffian1 Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 Hey Upset man Does your Wife know what you have been doing with this girl after you married her?
Rayndrops3 Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 Have you read what you posted? I ask because your statements come across quite selfish. You should flip your thoughts and challenge your "mee " mee" mindset. Ask yourself if you REALLY loved her, wouldn't you want her to be happy? Leave her alone. Put that energy into your own marriage.
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