I should've listened to the given to me here... I got played by my ex!

[scarnface]

Brief backstory: My ex and I broke up earlier this year after an intense one year relationship. We got back into contact a couple of months ago after he wrote me a long letter. To cut a long story short, he and I became good friends again. He considered me his best friend and we saw each other at least once a week. When we weren't hanging out we stayed in constant contacting by texting every day and sometimes he'd even call me at night after work. Even though we'd agreed to me friends, it was like we were dating again and I believed that it would eventually develop into something more if we gave it time.

 

Before he and I became friends again I made a post on this forum about the letter and another post about his intentions. A lot of people on here believed that he was selfish and only had his interests in mind, that he was basically using me for attention/validation and didn't care for me as much as he said he did. I chose not to listen to the advice because I thought 'you don't know him like I do!'

 

Well as it turns out I should have listened because I made the same mistake of trusting him again and I got played. A week ago everything was going well but he suddenly stopped texting me. I thought this was a bit odd seeing as we were in the middle of talking about something but didn't think much of it and figured I'd probably hear from him in a few days time. I never did. Today I checked his Facebook page and found out the real reason why he went cold on me. He has gone back to his ex girlfriend (the same girl he dated briefly after we broke up, go figure) and I had to find out by seeing a photo of them kissing with the caption "happiness" and love heart emojis. This really makes me feel like the world's biggest idiot.

 

Moral of the story... sometimes it's best to NOT listen to your gut and take the advice of people who can clearly see the facts because they're not emotionally invested and aren't thinking with their emotional mind. I reread the advice given to me in my other threads and now I can clearly see what everybody was telling me but at the time I was so caught up in the situation that I refused to believe it.

Edited October 30, 2016 by scarnface

[marky00]

Don't be to hard on yourself.

 

 

I made that same mistake a few times myself.

 

 

Clearly he still enjoyed your friendship and was probably still physically attracted to you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have kept in touch.

 

 

My guess is he will get burned by his Ex again.

 

 

Sounds like she has been dumping him and he keeps going back like a puppy dog. Whilst he is doing that, he is good to nobody.

[Kelley]

Sometimes you just have to learn the hard way. I did the same thing with my ex, stayed friends hoping we would work things out, he has a girlfriend now. The difference is he hid it so we could stay friends for his own selfish reasons. We live and learn and I won't repeat the same mistake again. If he does crawl back though, ignore him. My ex did and I maintained NC, we deserve so much better and we will find it. His actions are not a reflection on you but him remember that.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

He sounds like the type of person who always needs to have a backup so don't be surprised if he randomly contacts you again full of excuses or like nothing happened. You know the painful truth now.

 

In this situation, blocking him is probably the best way to protect yourself from further hurt.

[scarnface]

Clearly he still enjoyed your friendship and was probably still physically attracted to you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have kept in touch.

 

Yeah there's no doubt in my mind that he enjoyed the friendship, I guess the most hurtful thing in all of this is that he threw it away to be with someone that has cheated and lied to him so many times before.

 

Sometimes you just have to learn the hard way. I did the same thing with my ex, stayed friends hoping we would work things out, he has a girlfriend now. The difference is he hid it so we could stay friends for his own selfish reasons. We live and learn and I won't repeat the same mistake again. If he does crawl back though, ignore him. My ex did and I maintained NC, we deserve so much better and we will find it. His actions are not a reflection on you but him remember that.

 

That's terrible he hid it from you! I am so done with this situation that I've already blocked his number. The only way he can reach me is if he leaves another letter at my house and I'll be throwing it straight into the bin this time.

[Steven1]

Don't beat yourself up about it! Live and learn and often the worst experiences make us stronger people.

 

Me and my ex were together for 7 years..., she dumped me on Valentines day via text when I had booked us a romantic hotel...got left with a very,very large bill..., she told me there was someone else and that she was sorry it happened. That was the last time I spoke to her more or less, yet she had never let on the week before when I seen her.

 

I think sometimes as hard as it is we need to go through these things to come out the other end knowing we'll be fine.

[scarnface]

Don't beat yourself up about it! Live and learn and often the worst experiences make us stronger people.

 

Me and my ex were together for 7 years..., she dumped me on Valentines day via text when I had booked us a romantic hotel...got left with a very,very large bill..., she told me there was someone else and that she was sorry it happened. That was the last time I spoke to her more or less, yet she had never let on the week before when I seen her.

 

I think sometimes as hard as it is we need to go through these things to come out the other end knowing we'll be fine.

 

I'm sorry that happened to you, that's rough. It would have taken a long time to move past.

 

I'm not sad but disappointed and frustrated. Earlier in the month he was telling me about how much he has changed, how he is finally growing up and realising that what I've always said about life & relationships is true. He even told me that the relationship with his ex wasn't much of a relationship and that his needs (emotional) weren't being met and they fought all the time. I honestly don't get why he would go back to that.