an0nym0us123 Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 Hi all. i met this woman online about 6-7 weeks ago. she was the one who messaged me to begin with but with hit it off right away. we sort of said we would just have fun to beginwith as we werent lookong for serious. ive been to her place several times and slept with her as well. shes about an hour away. through the week we messaged the whole time and we were having a lot of fun. everything she said was really nice towards me she nearly always initiated before i got last a chance. she told me she liked me and made numerous hints that she might want a more serious relationship. i just played along to see ehere it would go. Last weekend though i felt a slight change in mood though and due to the fact i have been used everytime ive been with any woman i imeadiately got suspicious that something was up. When i asked when i could see her again she said sje didnt know as her mum was sick amoung other things and she had to put her mind on that and her 2 kids. and that she tended to push people away at those such times. i said ok and wanted to help if i could even though i was a bit concerned. I did not find myself talking much to her this week but it wss me who initiated contact every time. i should have just left her be but i found i could not help myself any a couple of times i did ask if she knew when i could see her but she said she wasnt sure but she said she missed me. so last night i again messaged her and told her i missed her. shed respomds pretty quickly to messages. then still detecting a coldness from her i said i missed her and she eventuslly replied. The stupidly i made a comment apologizing for sending her so many messages asking if " we were ok" which went on to say that i had become close to her and liked her a lot and that i was worried thqt she had become cold on me and that i was hurting to some extent not seeing her. to this i have jad no reply but it was late last night. now im just sick with the thought that ive annoyed her when she said she needed space. why could i not just leave her be? Everything was soo good between us now ive probably ruined it.
Herbalist Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 Okay just don't initiate anymore and hang back. Worse case scenario is that she has lost interest and you just don't hear from her again. After a week or so I would say go ahead and move on. But there is a chance that she is waiting to see if you go full on psycho and keep messaging her more pushy and desperate as this may be something she is testing and/or fears. So just hang back. You haven't done anything terrible or insane so don't beat yourself up either. Just hang back and if it was meant to be then she will contact you. 2
Author an0nym0us123 Posted October 29, 2016 Author Posted October 29, 2016 Well she messaged me this morning. it seems thst she really likes me but is scared of getting hurt and we live 50 miles apart. by what she has said before she had a pretty awfull breakup in the past. I dont think she is lying to me it seems genuine. i told her i want to continue to see where it goes i guess its up to her now
spiderowl Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 (edited) It could be she's losing interest or it could be you have both reached that point where you are wondering where this is going and if the other person cares enough. There is a point where feelings grow stronger and you know you could get hurt. Insecurity sets in and both people can find themselves taking a step back to evaluate whether the relationship is going anywhere. You said you were playing along to see where it went - maybe she felt inscure about that. You have let her know how you feel now so the ball is in her court. If she's really interested, she will respond to you. She may need reassurance you really do want to continue with her and don't just see this relationship as a weekend away with sex. The point about being far away is significant. If you are far away, you can't be as supportive as someone nearby. This is something that matters when considering the longer term. Maybe she has thought about it and can only see weekends with sex ahead and feels that you will not be able to 'be there for her'. Maybe you need to think about that too. Edited October 29, 2016 by spiderowl
Author an0nym0us123 Posted October 29, 2016 Author Posted October 29, 2016 It could be she's losing interest or it could be you have both reached that point where you are wondering where this is going and if the other person cares enough. There is a point where feelings grow stronger and you know you could get hurt. Insecurity sets in and both people can find themselves taking a step back to evaluate whether the relationship is going anywhere. You said you were playing along to see where it went - maybe she felt inscure about that. You have let her know how you feel now so the ball is in her court. If she's really interested, she will respond to you. She may need reassurance you really do want to continue with her and don't just see this relationship as a weekend away with sex. The point about being far away is significant. If you are far away, you can't be as supportive as someone nearby. This is something that matters when considering the longer term. Maybe she has thought about it and can only see weekends with sex ahead and feels that you will not be able to 'be there for her'. Maybe you need to think about that too. i think she just got a fright tbh, i think she likes me but like you said the distance probably is in her mind, its in mine to and i suppose im being foolish thinking ill deal with that later cos there is no easy solution. ill be seriously p*ssed if it boils down to 50 crappy miles, its been so difficult to meet anyone locally and she's been brilliant with me and im scared i wont ever get a chance again like this. 1
Herbalist Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 I think it sounds like it still has plenty of potential. The two of you are being honest and vulnerable with each other and not playing any dumbass games. She is obviously scared of being smothered, controlled or hurt by another crazy dude, and you passed that important test by backing off when she was unresponsive instead of getting all psycho and pushy (and see she messaged you after a bit). Plus I think if she wasn't interested then she would just fade out and wouldn't have told you anything. Just keep being chill but friendly. Also remember that for a single parent, trying to worry about her kids and worrying about her own parent, that is a ton of stress. So she might perk back up in a while if you give her a bit.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted October 29, 2016 Author Posted October 29, 2016 I think it sounds like it still has plenty of potential. The two of you are being honest and vulnerable with each other and not playing any dumbass games. She is obviously scared of being smothered, controlled or hurt by another crazy dude, and you passed that important test by backing off when she was unresponsive instead of getting all psycho and pushy (and see she messaged you after a bit). Plus I think if she wasn't interested then she would just fade out and wouldn't have told you anything. Just keep being chill but friendly. Also remember that for a single parent, trying to worry about her kids and worrying about her own parent, that is a ton of stress. So she might perk back up in a while if you give her a bit. I hope so. we chatted tonight and shes going to think it over the mood became quite light and we ended up joking with one and other. guess im more confident now than i was last night. i think we just got carried away too soon. i mean we said to begin with lets just have fun but after the first time we met we were talking every night and she knows my life back to front and thats not what i would expect from a weekend sex type setup. also we said how we missed each other only days after meeting and how long the week was taking untill we met again. i went down one night and her kids were still tjere and she held my hand in front of them. she also said how comfortable she was with me from day 1 that she was usually a bit scared with new people. i dont what will happen but it was all going really well maybe i should have tried and slowed it down but it felt so natural.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted November 6, 2016 Author Posted November 6, 2016 (edited) ............. Edited November 6, 2016 by an0nym0us123
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