Kkristine Posted October 28, 2016 Posted October 28, 2016 I'm 5 months out of a 4-yr. relationship. I go back and forth. One week I'm happy and ready to get out there again. The next, I'm crying on my way to work every morning. I started just talking to another guy a couple of months ago, and it ended badly. Was not interested in it at all, and it did set me back. It made me miss my ex even more. So, I decided to stop all together. I get excited about meeting someone again, but then I take a step back and realize I'm not ready. I did today see a picture of my ex on Facebook, and while it was the first time I'd seen his face since we broke up, it didn't really bother me. He looks the same, but he looked older. And different. It was a "gross" feeling. Hopefully that's a sign. 1
Chief1970 Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 Looking at your ex on Facebook is only gonna continue to set you back. No contact means no contact. 1
Satu Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 It took me just under two years. Here's a clip from my journals: "Never begin a new relationship until you've fully moved on from the one before. Also never begin a new relationship with someone who hasn't fully moved on from their one before. By 'moved on,' I mean any necessary grieving done, not preoccupied with the ex, enjoying life, feeling good about yourself, and optimistic about the future. The best way to move on is to decide to be single for a while; not dating, not hooking up, no fwb. 'Get back on the horse' is sound advice, but its best to let the cuts and bruises heal before you do." Take care.
BC1980 Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 I went on a few dates 8 months after my last relationship ended. It was a 3 yr. relationship. The dates did trigger some emotions, but it was nice to see that there are other men out there. The first time talking to a guy was weird though. I tried to date 2 months after my relationship ended, and I ended up ghosting on the guy because I freaked out emotionally. You have to try to know where you stand. Sometimes, you are not as over an ex as you think. But it's good to try as long as you don't lead anyone on. Just casual dating can be really helpful.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 I'm 5 months out of a 4-yr. relationship. I go back and forth. One week I'm happy and ready to get out there again. The next, I'm crying on my way to work every morning. You miss the closeness, the relationship. Remember why you broke up in the first place. Remember when you feel lonely, sad, depressed, etc. you tend to focus on the positive feel-good things of your past relationship. It's normal and dangerous. Remember why you broke up... You need to give yourself time so that someone else special can be a part of your life. There is something definitely exciting and up-lifting about that. Be positive and let yourself heal.
central Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 Circumstances matter greatly. Who left whom, for instance? I was dating just weeks after leaving a 24+ year marriage - but it had really been over for a long time, and already mourned by the time I left. Anyway, there is no set time - just when you feel ready.
aloneinaz Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 I agree. No time frame, just when you're ready. My last R/S that ended lasted 1.4 years. The last few months with her were off/on until it ended. I took around a month to heal and KNEW I'd never date her again. I started casually dating with my head in the right place. It's only dating, it's not brain surgery and often times, people take it FAR too seriously. My mindset was NOT to meet my next great love. It was simply to get out of the house and get out of my head. I wanted to go out and have some laughs and drinks with the opposite sex. Even on dates where I knew in the first 5 minutes they were not for me, I still enjoyed the time out and conversation. Honestly, it was the best thing I ever did and it accelerated my healing and getting over that last ex. I met my now fiance that I've been with over 3 years now, several months after the last breakup with that ex. I'm an strong advocate that sitting home for months and months, rehashing the last relationship does nothing but keep you stuck in the past. Life's too damn short to waste time crying and thinking about a failed relationship that needs to stay in the rear view mirror. 2
marky00 Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 If your into the person your dating, then go for it. I have been chatting with someone for a few months now and I am still not over the crap the Ex puled on me. But, this person is worth the effort so I am just going to tough my was through it. She did ask about my baggage. I was honest, told the story one time and it hasn't been discussed again. I think the words I told her was " I'll be doing 80% of the work of getting to where I need to be, you can help me with the last 20%". Her response was indeed positive. You have to be realistic, that is there will be triggers regardless and you have to work through it.
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