Ojoslinda Posted October 28, 2016 Posted October 28, 2016 Hi. 27 year old male dating a 22 year old woman in her last year of undergrad. So throughout my life I have very rarely dated a woman that was younger than me, most of the were older or at least my age. I felt like i needed to say that because i have never been in a relationship that had this dynamic. She is very close friends with one of my cousin's. I have been seeing her for about 2 and a half months. She lives about 40 minutes away from me and because she does not own a car I am the one who will always go to her. So at first, meaning after one week of dating her because she was somewhat familiar with who I was i was spending 3 nights out of the week at her place. As our schedules have gotten busy that has dropped off somewhat. Now let me get to what has been on my mind:I have a very flexible job and profitable job where i set my own hours. Because she has more of a set schedule i kind of adapted to her, talking on facetime later at time, and in turn going to bed later. Even though i am busy i make myself available to her when she needed. Now what really gets me upset is i feel like because of this she does not value my time. An argument would typically arise like this (although now i don't even bother to get upset): We have not seen each other the whole week. I will text her something like: i'm thinking of coming over tonight, good? In turn she will be like I promised (insert female friend) that i would spend the night with her and we spent the entirety of last weekend together. So this is what would typically go through my mind at this time: Wouldn't you inform me of this before hand if in general you know that the only time we have to see each other is the weekend especially if you are going out of state for the rest of it? Now it also feels to me like between me driving over there and i feel like every time we make plans I am initiating things it makes me doubt how important she thinks our relationship is. If i were to bring this up she would say something like I have just been dating you for insert time and I know my friends for this amount of time, i dont have that much time during the week (yet she watches movies most nights and drinks with her roomates). She will say that she is not quite ready to make me a priority like that in her life, well then i start thinking why am i expending all this emotional capital in this woman over facetime and texts. I feel like i am in a long distance relationship where she expects me to invest time in her over the phone, every day but when it comes to seeing each other it feels forced. To add to that i am a very tactile and sensual person and i get a lot of my validation in relationships from feeling desired by the other person, her libido is much lower than mine and in general is quite cold apart from when we are in bed. Most of my flings or relationships over the course of my life have been the opposite of this. In essence i really like this girl, i like admire certain values she has but i feel like i am not gettign what i need emotionally and physically from her and I am getting extremely tempted by woman surfacing from my past and ones wanting to date meet in my daily life. I could go on but it will become tldr.
smackie9 Posted October 28, 2016 Posted October 28, 2016 hey it is what it is...if you don't like the way things are breakup and move on. Staying with someone just based on the fact you like them isn't enough. This is why we date people...to see if we are compatible and our expectations are being fulfilled. She's not fulfilling your expectations to the point you are wanting to get with other women....it's time to go.
Author Ojoslinda Posted October 28, 2016 Author Posted October 28, 2016 hey it is what it is...if you don't like the way things are breakup and move on. Staying with someone just based on the fact you like them isn't enough. This is why we date people...to see if we are compatible and our expectations are being fulfilled. She's not fulfilling your expectations to the point you are wanting to get with other women....it's time to go. seems extreme i was thinking, fall back emotionally and talk to other people and see how she acts lol.
Gaeta Posted October 28, 2016 Posted October 28, 2016 And this is exactly why you should continue dating your age and older. She is nowhere near your maturity 3
smackie9 Posted October 28, 2016 Posted October 28, 2016 seems extreme i was thinking, fall back emotionally and talk to other people and see how she acts lol. So trying to get her upset/needy and hurt is your answer? Don't play games, man up and let her go.
Author Ojoslinda Posted October 28, 2016 Author Posted October 28, 2016 So trying to get her upset/needy and hurt is your answer? Don't play games, man up and let her go. feel in my mind its more of an ultimatum in practice instead of talking to her about it, if she really wants me in her life she will change certain things about our relationship if that makes sense?
Sara1989 Posted October 28, 2016 Posted October 28, 2016 And this is exactly why you should continue dating your age and older. She is nowhere near your maturity Man so this! my ex and I had same age gap as you two, 5 years and we were in our 20s. We split and he now dates women older than him or same age, he hasnt dated anyone my age since I think I put him off, lol. You gotta expect some immaturity from 22 yr old.
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