Pillarofsilence08 Posted October 28, 2016 Posted October 28, 2016 I'll keep this short. Just looking for second opinions. Been seeing this girl for about a year now. We're exclusive with each other. That's been defined in the past, she likes our company and I do too. Doesn't wanna see other guys and i don't want to see other girls but she just has a thing about titles or being in a relationship? Guess having sex and hanging out and going on trips and talking near future things together doesn't count as a relationship in some heads.. that's not even the part that bothers me. In the last month she has been insanely busy with work 50+ hrs/week) and has had some personal issues with family and work members. She even looks the part of stress, complexion has turned poor, she looks exhausted. Poor girl. I want to help, I guess that's the stereotypical part of being a guy - trying to help. During this month she's hard to get ahold of, fairly unresponsive, sex drive is down. In the past when she's down, I've reached out to help but that seems to come off as maybe needy or not giving her space. She has recognized her behaviour. Said she's stressed and doesn't feel in her body and heart but said she'll get better. This week we spent Saturday night together, was good, talked, wine n movie, had more lovemaking than sex.. Now a week later, we've hardly talked. I sent her a good night on Wednesday. No response. Bumped into her next afternoon and she says yeah I saw your text! Didn't say whY she didn't have the time to respond. She talked about our trip that we have together in less than a week and how she can't wait Til then to get away from it all. What's your take guys, am I over reading this or is it understandable that she's a more or less a ghost the last week and to lesser extent this month? TL:DR: girl is distant over last month and particularly last week. Still do find some quality time together. Doesn't say anything is wrong. She's still excited and talks about upcoming plans together. What's the deal??
Redhead14 Posted October 28, 2016 Posted October 28, 2016 I'll keep this short. Just looking for second opinions. Been seeing this girl for about a year now. We're exclusive with each other. That's been defined in the past, she likes our company and I do too. Doesn't wanna see other guys and i don't want to see other girls but she just has a thing about titles or being in a relationship? Guess having sex and hanging out and going on trips and talking near future things together doesn't count as a relationship in some heads.. that's not even the part that bothers me. In the last month she has been insanely busy with work 50+ hrs/week) and has had some personal issues with family and work members. She even looks the part of stress, complexion has turned poor, she looks exhausted. Poor girl. I want to help, I guess that's the stereotypical part of being a guy - trying to help. During this month she's hard to get ahold of, fairly unresponsive, sex drive is down. In the past when she's down, I've reached out to help but that seems to come off as maybe needy or not giving her space. She has recognized her behaviour. Said she's stressed and doesn't feel in her body and heart but said she'll get better. This week we spent Saturday night together, was good, talked, wine n movie, had more lovemaking than sex.. Now a week later, we've hardly talked. I sent her a good night on Wednesday. No response. Bumped into her next afternoon and she says yeah I saw your text! Didn't say whY she didn't have the time to respond. She talked about our trip that we have together in less than a week and how she can't wait Til then to get away from it all. What's your take guys, am I over reading this or is it understandable that she's a more or less a ghost the last week and to lesser extent this month? TL:DR: girl is distant over last month and particularly last week. Still do find some quality time together. Doesn't say anything is wrong. She's still excited and talks about upcoming plans together. What's the deal?? Guess having sex and hanging out and going on trips and talking near future things together doesn't count as a relationship -- In her mind it's not a relationship nor is it a priority to her. Basically, I say you were at least exclusive FWB's, more or less, and nothing more. So if you want more from a dating partner, you're going to have to find one that wants the same thing with you. 1
Author Pillarofsilence08 Posted October 28, 2016 Author Posted October 28, 2016 Well do I just ignore this and not bother trying to get an answer out of her? With a trip coming up in less than a week where we will spend 4 days together it just seems like a weird behaviour to be acting in..A trip that she still even says she's excited for amidst the radio silence.. Should i even bother to text or call her before she does to me? Just go silent as well? Just seems like the longer it goes on the weirder it gets. What do you guys think my next move should be?
Ojoslinda Posted October 28, 2016 Posted October 28, 2016 Well do I just ignore this and not bother trying to get an answer out of her? With a trip coming up in less than a week where we will spend 4 days together it just seems like a weird behaviour to be acting in..A trip that she still even says she's excited for amidst the radio silence.. Should i even bother to text or call her before she does to me? Just go silent as well? Just seems like the longer it goes on the weirder it gets. What do you guys think my next move should be? Act as you would with a close friend. Give her some space, don't overeact to the situation, when things become more clam talk about it.
Gaeta Posted October 28, 2016 Posted October 28, 2016 Sure she can't wait to go away because she is stressed, she didn't say she can't wait to spend 4 days with you. A woman that does not want a title after 1 year dating is a FWB. You don't really need to explain yourself to a FWB that's why she didn't say why she ignored your text and why she doesn't feel like touching base with you. My bet is the newness is gone and she's about to move on, which she will do right after your trip. Yes lots of people that want to break up but have trips planned will wait after the trip. They think it's fair to the other person. Which is the opposite. 1
Author Pillarofsilence08 Posted October 29, 2016 Author Posted October 29, 2016 My bet is the newness is gone and she's about to move on, which she will do right after your trip. Yes lots of people that want to break up but have trips planned will wait after the trip. They think it's fair to the other person. Which is the opposite. Yikes that is cruel. I guess ill have to figure out what my move is in a rational way. Just saw 500 days of summer. no one told me they were going to make a movie out of this
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