Dumped out of the blue: A really weird story

[Bernard_M]

Hi all! I recently had this short dating experience that left me dazzled and confused. Please excuse my long post but I am trying to give some detail. It’s just that this story is unlike anything I have ever experienced and is really confusing me since I feel like I have met two different people so I will split the story in two parts.

 

Part 1

So at the place I work they recently hired a new girl. I must add that I work abroad (age 29) and she is a local (age 27). We had bumped into each other 3-4 times but never really talked. During an email correspondence I noticed that she was being more than friendly, I add her on Facebook, and on the same night get a message from her to join her for drinks, since she was out with friends. I went and she was with 7-8 friends (mostly male). Once she saw me she took me aside to have alone time and we quickly started making out. She confessed that she had been really attracted to me from the first time she saw me and was very happy I was single. She was also a bit playfully annoyed about me not giving her any attention earlier. After a few drinks we went to my place and ended up having sex.

 

She stayed over the night, and spent a long time during the next day at my place. The same thing happened the next day and so on. In the meanwhile, she would send many messages saying she missed me a lot, stating how amazing, hot, funny, and smart I was and seeking every chance to see me. She also then started visiting my office just to see me during work hours. However, there were some red flags:

 

• She seemed kind of concerned about co-workers finding out about us and was hesitant about going on dates outside so we had dates at my place.

• She had recently got out of a relationship with what she described as a controlling ex that lived in the same city which she just moved to.

• After a nice Friday date where we cooked together, had some wine, talked, sex etc., the next night she goes out for drinks with friends, send her a message (no response), and then calls me at 2AM to spend the night at my place (She was hammered).

 

This went on for about 4 weeks at which time she would compliment on how different I am from the local guys in a positive way, what a great guy I was etc. She would ask what I would do after my contract ended (in 2 years), sent me a picture of her with a friends’ baby, commented on how much she would like to join me on activities I did with my friends and so on. She also told me that she was really falling for me and that it was scary. So I started to get attached and reciprocated her affection and initiating more messages since she complained that I don’t text her much. During the fourth week I accidentally told her that I love her. It was something said in the heat of the moment and she responded that she loved me also, and that was so great to hear she almost felt like crying. I must admit I didn’t expect such a reaction.

 

A couple of days later she left for a business/leisure trip with some female friends abroad for a week. Before she left she came by my office to kiss me. Within an hour after leaving she messaged me saying how much she missed me and how difficult it was to leave me without kissing me more. We exchanged a few texts and I sensed that her replies were getting short so I assumed she was busy and stopped texting. I send her a message several hours later to see if she had arrived safely in which she didn’t respond although she was uploading pictures, replying to comments etc. She answered 5 hours later at which time I was asleep. I woke up the next morning with another message asking how I am and if I missed her. I replied and we exchanged a few messages. At some point I asked if she was having a good time and she did not respond. I waited two days and sent her a message how she is. No response, although she had seen it. I wait another two days and her if everything is ok. About 5-6 hours later she replies that she is having an amazing time. Then she says that she wants to talk and thinks that we should slow down since she recently got out of a bad relationship and the fact that we work together freaks her out. I say ok we can talk when she gets back.

 

Part 2

Once she got back she seemed to be avoiding me, passing outside my office and not dropping by. I called her over and she seemed jolly and talkative. I asked her if she wanted to meet up the next night and she leaned towards me asking if she should be afraid. I kissed and told her that was ridiculous. The next morning she texts me saying someone is wearing my cologne and that it is distracting her. A couple of hours later she cancels saying she is busy and that we can re-schedule the following night. The next day she texts me asking if I will get off work early. I said at around 17:00. She then suggests I go by her place since she has free time before a business dinner, and says she misses me and wants me (sexually). I couple of hours later she texts that her computer has broken down and will be delayed in work and won’t make it. And says that if it doesn’t get too late she might beg me to come by my place. I say no worries and let it go. Of course she doesn’t send a message to say if she is coming or not. She didn’t show up.

 

The next day at late afternoon she asks if I have any plans for the day. I wasn’t really in the mood to respond immediately since this whole thing had started to piss me off. A couple of hours after her first message she sends me an SMS asking if I am angry. I reply a little bit later that I am busy that night. She asks again if everything is ok and I say I prefer to talk about it in person. She was leaving the following day for a short weekend trip to visit a friend. She says she is sorry that we didn’t get the chance to meet and says that she doesn’t like things being messed up and asks if she can come by my place at midnight when she arrives. I reply that we can meet when she is back after work. She didn’t send any messages during the weekend and was posting photos as if she was having the time of her life.

 

When she got back she invited me to her place asking if she would get a kiss. I go to meet her and try to discuss the “slowing things down” thing with her. She starts saying that she doesn’t like texting, then says that she doesn’t want to get attached and other people needing her, feels quite overwhelmed, then mentions something about not being sure if she will stay in the same job or move abroad etc. She also says she recently bumped into her ex and that messed her up, and when I ask if she wants to get back with him she says not, that she dumped him. I really couldn’t make out anything that made sense. So we end up having sex and then asks me if I intended to break up with her, if I fancied this other girl and so on. The next days she was acting hot and cold, whenever I tried to get closer to her she backed off. She told me she was going on a date and flirting with another guy in front of me. She then told me that the date was with her father.

 

Then she asks when she can see me and I say that the following day I have to attend an event so Friday would be good and agrees. On the Thursday I try to make the plans of Friday more specific and she says she can’t make it because she just got invited to a birthday party (one day before?) and then starts showing signs of jealousy. I reassure her she is the only one I want to see and say that if there is a will there is a way, to which she does not respond. On the Friday afternoon she sends me a random text to which I give a short response. At this point I am quite pissed off that she is constantly flaking on me and acting hot and cold. I feel as though she is playing games just to mess with my emotions. I send her a provocative message saying that I want her and that she should come join me at a party. She asks who I am with, what people are wearing and after a few texts tells me that she is at a friends and to meet her at her place. I say ok see you there. I must add that I was a bit drunk being at the party. When I get there she walks past me and quickly tries to slam the door in my face. I instinctively react by placing my foot and try to ask her what the deal is. She then lets me in saying that she has to get up early in the morning. I was quite drunk so we didn’t talk much. We ended up in her bed and had sex. Although she had mentioned that she had to get up at 6AM, at 4AM she wakes me up pushing me to leave. I do so quite angry and from then on did not respond to her.

 

A few days later I send a work email to which she does not respond. A week after that while I was abroad she messages me asking how the place was, to which I say it is really nice and the conversation ends there. A week after that she finally responds to the email (2 weeks in total) at which point I ask to see her so we can discuss the whole thing and not mix it up with work. She said that she didn’t like my behavior the night I met her at her place drunk and that there is no need to talk about it. That it was just a fling and that I got too attached and that the time abroad made her appreciate being free after a bad relationship.

 

Seriously, she comes on extra strong from the beginning and once I start reciprocating she acts in this way? What happened to change her behavior so suddenly? Any input would be more than welcome.

[MsJayne]

She started out really keen because you were a mystery, and once you revealed yourself to be emotionally available she lost interest. It's as simple as that. I think you should move on and ignore any further contact from her, even if you really wanted a relationship. The red flags are all there, she's manipulative, immature, insensitive........do you need any other reasons to avoid her?

[ThisisIt606]

it sounds like she wasn't ready for a relationship after her controlling ex. She probably wasn't used to a nice/easy going guy such as yourself so SHE got swept up in the newness of the relationship and was "in love with love" and moved too fast.

 

Her time away probably made her realize that and reflect a little. Instead of doing the mature thing and talk to you about it she "ran" (ie canceling dates/not showing up).

 

This seemed like it was just a matter of time. She probably needs to talk to someone about her ex, psychological and emotional help before she can event think of dating again. I think this drama that she put you through was all of her own doing for the most part (sure you shouldn't have said I love you if you didn't meet it... particularly to someone who seems so emotionally fragile)

 

but she sounded like a lot of stress and confusion, so good you are done with that and can carry on.

[Bernard_M]

Thanks for the responses and taking the time to read all that text

 

The truth is that this whole thing has put me under quite a lot of stress especially since we work at the same place. At the time all these things where going on I couldn't understand if it was a sign of immaturity, rebound, emotional instability, or possible a narcissistic personality disorder. Especially since it came out of nowhere and so suddenly. It has really gotten questioning myself whether I did something that turned her off or being too emotionally available too soon. But on the other hand I am 29 and have gone through the phase of playing games etc.

 

A couple of days before leaving for that trip she asked me if I had contact with my ex's. I said no since there is no reason, and when I asked her if she had, she mentioned that one ex gets in touch from time to time. I don't know if the story with the ex is a valid reason for her behavior or she is just like that and is using it as an excuse. I noticed however that a couple of weeks after we ended things that she and her ex were no longer friends on Facebook.

 

All in all what bugs me most is that I have not gotten closure as to what was the real reason for her acting like that. I got the sense that she was purposefully playing with my emotions and trying to be vindictive fore some reason, almost as if she was playing a power game.

Edited October 28, 2016 by Bernard_M

[Toodaloo]

She was using you for sex and an ego trip.

 

Thats my take on it anyway.

 

Just leave her to it and let her get on with it.

 

No point crying over spilt milk and its hardly as if she was marriage material anyway...

[Bernard_M]

So the whole "being attracted and into me" was so I would reflect it back to her and make her feel wanted? That is seriously messed up.

 

I tried to relate this experience with past dating ones I had. For me, I have started dating women which within a few days realize are not a good match. I never went over the top with them or stopped communication so abruptly, and once I had made a decision I didn't plan any more dates with them.

 

It really bothers me that someone could be so pretentious and disrespectful, especially since we work together and are bound to bump into each other. I tried to rationalize it that it may be do unresolved issues with her ex, but that does not justify her manipulative behavior once she returned from her trip.

[Toodaloo]

So the whole "being attracted and into me" was so I would reflect it back to her and make her feel wanted? That is seriously messed up.

 

I tried to relate this experience with past dating ones I had. For me, I have started dating women which within a few days realize are not a good match. I never went over the top with them or stopped communication so abruptly, and once I had made a decision I didn't plan any more dates with them.

 

It really bothers me that someone could be so pretentious and disrespectful, especially since we work together and are bound to bump into each other. I tried to rationalize it that it may be do unresolved issues with her ex, but that does not justify her manipulative behavior once she returned from her trip.

 

Oh blimey you are going way over board on this. Its not like you were living together or married.

 

Lighten up.

 

You dated, it didn't work, end of.

 

Now ignore her unless you have to deal with her and get on with it.

 

I know that sounds harsh but its as it is.

[Bernard_M]

Its easier said than done, especially when you see this person regularly and they have a smug and arrogant look as though they defeated you.

 

On another level it is also self-reflection. For me at least it is important to know where things did not work so I can avoid similar mistakes in future dating.

[Toodaloo]

Its easier said than done, especially when you see this person regularly and they have a smug and arrogant look as though they defeated you.

 

On another level it is also self-reflection. For me at least it is important to know where things did not work so I can avoid similar mistakes in future dating.

 

It didn't work out because she is a play girl. She is the sort that likes lots of attention and wants men drooling over her because she thinks that is what makes her great. She flits about between guys and usually has one ready to go before she has finished with the last. Its common. It happens a lot with both men and women.

 

What is more unusual is that you have worked yourself up into a tizzy over a very short relationship and seem determined to read so much more into it than there actually is... hence the comments about the smug looks etc.

 

Ignore her. Develop the attitude that she is insignificant and get on with your job.

 

This situation is not unusual at all. Its really common.

 

You just picked the wrong girl for you thats all.

 

I know it is easier said than done but that is because some of us have already been there...

 

Seems to me you are more worried about your ego taking a knock than the girl in question.

 

Tip. People can only hurt you if you let them... So simple solution is not to let her.

 

As I said before treat the whole thing as if it never happened and as if she doesn't exist. Speak to her when you have to and don't bother with her at all inbetween.

[Bernard_M]

Thanks for the reply. You are right that it is a kick in the ego since I was initially idolized by her, and once I gave her equal footing she acted in this way.

 

I know that it is not unusual for many women to act like this, and I usually figure them out. So I guess it is mostly a blow to my level of reading people since I was totally mislead by this one. Apart from her binge drinking there were not many signs before she left that she was a play girl since she would ask me about my family, future plans etc. so she gave the impression that she was thinking of long-term commitment.

[smackie9]

She was pretty truthful why she changed her mind. I feel she attached to you for the wrong reasons and when she had time away to think about it, she realized that. Sucks on your end, but it happens. You dodged a bullet IMO.

[Bernard_M]

She was pretty truthful why she changed her mind. I feel she attached to you for the wrong reasons and when she had time away to think about it, she realized that. Sucks on your end, but it happens. You dodged a bullet IMO.

 

And that happened within 3 hours of leaving, asking if I miss her only to cut communication minutes later? Then what about all the drama she caused after her return? Why when I started acting cool did she act as though she would do anything just to fix things and could not wait to see me to talk it over? I don't think its as simple as a change of mind.

[spiderowl]

There are men that do this too. They are players, often dating others at the same time. They flatter and lie. Just because someone says they like you and says nice things does not make them a nice person. It is easy to be taken in because most people are decent and do not behave like that. Sorry you met someone like this.

[smackie9]

No it's not a just a simple change of mind......she was going through an emotional tug of war with herself right from the beginning. Flip flopping.

[SpiralOut]

She sounds like a female version of some of the men I've dated. It doesn't really matter why she acted the way she did. She's not the right woman for you. At least you found out early instead of wasting any more time on her.

[joseb]

Just forget about her now, don't feed the drama.

 

She's not relationship material, try to look at it as you had a few weeks of fun NSA sex.

To me it was pretty obvious from the way you described it that that is what it was from the start - recent breakup from a "bad" ex, booty calls at 2am after a night of partying...getting hammered...

Any future talking at that stage is usually fake as it's too early.

 

And don't idolise people from now on.

[Bernard_M]

No it's not a just a simple change of mind......she was going through an emotional tug of war with herself right from the beginning. Flip flopping.

 

So you are saying she got into it and was unsure right from the beginning? Or was the tug a result of her past baggage with her ex? I still have not identified what my role was in all this and if she was genuinely attracted.

[smackie9]

You were a rebound........

[typingrandma]

Dear Dumped:

 

What a whirlwind you have been on! Goodness!!

 

I can't say for sure since I don't know her...... but I have to ask you to ask yourself if there is any depth to this relationship? From what you described, it sounds rather superficial and do you think perhaps that is all she can handle right now??

 

I'm sorry, but your future with her sounds iffy. All I can really suggest is if you want to pursue her, you two really need to sit down and TALK.....forget the sex for a minute. It almost sounds like a convenient distraction from reality right now and a way to deflect what she is really thinking and feeling. Come to this chat with specific instances and questions. If she can talk deeply and honestly and you're satisfied, then you might go ahead. But I would suggest very slowly!! You need to be able to verify her character better and see if this is a person you really want to be with long term. If you can't verify who she really is, I would get out now.

[Bernard_M]

There are men that do this too. They are players, often dating others at the same time. They flatter and lie. Just because someone says they like you and says nice things does not make them a nice person. It is easy to be taken in because most people are decent and do not behave like that. Sorry you met someone like this.

 

Just forget about her now, don't feed the drama.

 

She's not relationship material, try to look at it as you had a few weeks of fun NSA sex.

To me it was pretty obvious from the way you described it that that is what it was from the start - recent breakup from a "bad" ex, booty calls at 2am after a night of partying...getting hammered...

Any future talking at that stage is usually fake as it's too early.

 

And don't idolise people from now on.

 

I have dated enough to know when someone wants to pursue something serious or just wants sex NSA. When someone texts you throughout the day asking how you are, finds time in-between work to come and see you, cooks for you, talks about family and their life, remembers important things that you are doing in the day and things that you have told them, enjoys spending time that does not involve sex, or is concerned about where you will be in 2 years from now and if you like kids etc, then I assume that it is not just booty calls. The 2am call was to stay at my place and it only happened once and did not involve sex. I definitely do not idolize people, but I did fall for her. Not because of the sex but because of how vibrant, funny, and smart she was. I don't think that is something you can easily regulate and it does not happen often to me so I am not a a person that loves to fall in love. When it happens it happens and I do not fake interest or disinterest.

 

Even if this is a case of a rebound, it does not explain her manipulative behavior after she decided to pull back. Of course I do not feed the drama since I have stopped communicating with her, especially since she started messing things up with work.

 

 

Dear Dumped:

 

What a whirlwind you have been on! Goodness!!

 

I can't say for sure since I don't know her...... but I have to ask you to ask yourself if there is any depth to this relationship? From what you described, it sounds rather superficial and do you think perhaps that is all she can handle right now??

 

I'm sorry, but your future with her sounds iffy. All I can really suggest is if you want to pursue her, you two really need to sit down and TALK.....forget the sex for a minute. It almost sounds like a convenient distraction from reality right now and a way to deflect what she is really thinking and feeling. Come to this chat with specific instances and questions. If she can talk deeply and honestly and you're satisfied, then you might go ahead. But I would suggest very slowly!! You need to be able to verify her character better and see if this is a person you really want to be with long term. If you can't verify who she really is, I would get out now.

 

The depth of the relationship is proportional to the time we spent together. So to answer your question within 4 weeks of being together we did have some nice discussions and did things that are usually done in later stages (cooking together, sleep overs etc). It was not only sex and this is apparent from the way she communicated sending messages once she saw I was online in the morning, goodnight texts, asking how things were at work and how I was, and even getting jealous.

 

When she returned I tried to talk to her but she kept flaking. In the instance that we had a discussion it was incoherent and she did not seem to be able to communicate what she wanted or was afraid of. I did not get the impression that she wanted to end things either since she would initiate communication and would set times to see me (even though she eventually flaked). At this point is where i sensed a sudden change of character. A person that enjoys seeing me hurt by playing with my emotions, either by flirting with another guy in front of me, or by setting up dates only to cancel them minutes later. If you are interested in someone you show it (as she did before she left) and if you are not interested you don't try to arrange meetings and to mend things. She seemed to be provoking me by showing half-hearted interest, only to shoot me down when I got a bit closer. The tip of the iceberg was when she told me to go to her house and then tried to shut the door on my face. If she didnt want me over she could have said it and not invite me, and if she wanted me there she wouldn't behave like she did.

 

Although 4 weeks may not seem like a lot of time, it is enough to get you hooked on someone. So my comments here are mostly a response to how surprised I am to see such a u-turn in character and finding a logical explanation as to how this is possible.

Edited November 1, 2016 by Bernard_M

[preraph]

She reminds me of someone I know real well who is disorganized, bipolar, and socially aggressive/vivacious, and juggled men . She also reminds me of a guy or two I've known and how they handle juggling women, being jocular the entire time and jumping right in and things getting intense fast and then it becomes clear you're not the only one who's getting all this attention from them.

 

So hazarding a guess, I'm pegging her as very social, not afraid to go after what she wants, but also unwilling or unable to focus on one person and is just doing this with every guy she's the least bit interested in. She's probably very sexual and that's driving a lot of it. Now, my female friend who was like that was also bipolar and so she ran hot and cold and would disappear and reappear, and she in particular had certain sexual specifications that must be met, the only woman I know who put much priority on the size of a guy's penis and fingers. Not saying yours is just like her, but she may have a sex drive that keeps her coming back but then there may be some facet of you that isn't just what she wants, whether it's physical or emotional, and so she knows she's not staying with you.

 

Obviously, she is probably still toying with her ex as well, and he's probably just as mystified as you are. People who are good at being really social and meeting and dating lots of people can make you feel special, but then you find out they are happily going through this same thing with others as well. When it becomes an impediment to the or they lose interest, they move on.

 

The fact she mentioned the texting thing, even though you increased frequency because of something she'd said earlier, kind of does point out that she's not wanting anyone keeping tabs on her or that type of exclusivity.

 

I'm sorry it didn't work out. Now, there are men who would glad do a repeat of being wooed and dumped by my friend because they enjoyed it while it lasted. I hope you are able to at least take away the fun times from it and not let the end ruin that for you. Also, if she's as social as I think she is, you might confirm that she is now not interested in you any longer and then remain acquaintances so you continue to be asked to any group outings she throws because she likely has a LOT of friends you might want to meet, and they won't any of them be like her, because she won't keep someone who competes with her around long.

[Toodaloo]

I still have not identified what my role was in all this.

 

A penis that was able to get itself to her and also provided emotional support when she wanted it.

 

I am afraid that you were a walking vibrator that could say "yes" and "there there" at the appropriate moments... with the added bonus that after a bit of sleep you recharged yourself so no need for batteries...

 

Please stop thinking about her. She doesn't care one jot for you other than for entertainment purposes.

 

Have a higher opinion of yourself...

[Bernard_M]

She reminds me of someone I know real well who is disorganized, bipolar, and socially aggressive/vivacious, and juggled men . She also reminds me of a guy or two I've known and how they handle juggling women, being jocular the entire time and jumping right in and things getting intense fast and then it becomes clear you're not the only one who's getting all this attention from them.

 

So hazarding a guess, I'm pegging her as very social, not afraid to go after what she wants, but also unwilling or unable to focus on one person and is just doing this with every guy she's the least bit interested in. She's probably very sexual and that's driving a lot of it. Now, my female friend who was like that was also bipolar and so she ran hot and cold and would disappear and reappear, and she in particular had certain sexual specifications that must be met, the only woman I know who put much priority on the size of a guy's penis and fingers. Not saying yours is just like her, but she may have a sex drive that keeps her coming back but then there may be some facet of you that isn't just what she wants, whether it's physical or emotional, and so she knows she's not staying with you.

 

Obviously, she is probably still toying with her ex as well, and he's probably just as mystified as you are. People who are good at being really social and meeting and dating lots of people can make you feel special, but then you find out they are happily going through this same thing with others as well. When it becomes an impediment to the or they lose interest, they move on.

 

The fact she mentioned the texting thing, even though you increased frequency because of something she'd said earlier, kind of does point out that she's not wanting anyone keeping tabs on her or that type of exclusivity.

 

I'm sorry it didn't work out. Now, there are men who would glad do a repeat of being wooed and dumped by my friend because they enjoyed it while it lasted. I hope you are able to at least take away the fun times from it and not let the end ruin that for you. Also, if she's as social as I think she is, you might confirm that she is now not interested in you any longer and then remain acquaintances so you continue to be asked to any group outings she throws because she likely has a LOT of friends you might want to meet, and they won't any of them be like her, because she won't keep someone who competes with her around long.

 

She is indeed very social. Even the first time we met she was with a large group of people and one of the guys was trying to convince her to go with her. She told me that he cheats on his girlfriend and is disgusting. As a matter of fact she mentioned exclusivity first and said that she does not date other people simultaneously. This could be true for the time before she left on her business trip since we were together a lot and we would exchange quite a few messages.

 

About the sexual part you are right. She did seem to enjoy sex a lot and would text me and tell me a lot about how amazing it was and how much I turned her on. She sent a couple of nude pics to me within the first week, and by week 3 asked for some kinky stuff guys usually fantasize about (not threesomes )

 

I dont having a fling as long as I know its that. Even when I initiate something like that I am it clear from the outset that it is a fling and only that. I never go into the trouble of texting, showing fake emotion etc just to get some action, and if anything that is what annoyed me most; being misled. I have no intention in remaining acquaintances with a person that behaves likes that, and I am not desperate to get action by having to tag along with her. Indeed you are right though that her female friends all seem very quiet and in fact not attractive or provocative.

 

 

A penis that was able to get itself to her and also provided emotional support when she wanted it.

 

I am afraid that you were a walking vibrator that could say "yes" and "there there" at the appropriate moments... with the added bonus that after a bit of sleep you recharged yourself so no need for batteries...

 

Please stop thinking about her. She doesn't care one jot for you other than for entertainment purposes.

 

Have a higher opinion of yourself...

 

 

You seem to have a thing with vibrators, but I must admit that made me laugh.

 

This has nothing to do with the opinion of myself. I am not asking for advice of how to get back with her. I saw how she is and am just trying to understand her motives (acting as if she is my girlfriend and then suddenly turning cold) when she could have been clear from the beginning.

[joseb]

Ok maybe nsa was the wrong term. It was a rebound.

She was emotionally vulnerable having recently broken up, and wanted to feel good and she did this by coming on strong, and acting all couply immediately.

 

People recently split up are not necessarily thinking "oh I need a rebound". She probably did think she really liked you.

[Empyrea]

Her behaviour sounds really.. basic, if you will. Nothing super special or unusual or clinical about it. But since you're still confused: it sounds like a combination of immaturity, insecurities and simply being on the rebound. The insecurities are apparent from the fact that she craves a lot of attention (especially from men) and yet when she receives sincere attention (like you were willing to provide), she pulls away, almost as if she feels undeserving of it. Also, looking arrogant as you said? Probably a defense mechanism, a confident person would not do that. And something that's really common to being on the rebound is that instead of taking things slow with a new budding relationship, she jumped right in head first (all the gushing she did at first, nude pics, 24/7 contact) - which then gets satiated super fast, it runs out of steam, because she wasn't emotionally there yet, where her actions led you to believe she might have been. That's pretty much all there is to it, I'm sure. I've seen the pattern dozens of times, hell, I've done it myself. Anyway, it was bad timing for you, she's just not ready to be a good girlfriend to you, take it as the fling that it was, forgive her for misleading you and for handling the situation in a really immature way, and move on - unless you enjoy the drama (there would be plenty). In any case, you sound like you can do better (a bit more mature and stable perhaps).

Edited November 1, 2016 by Empyrea