ThisisIt606 Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 Met this guy off an app on 10/15 for drinks. It was pretty OK date that lasted a couple hours and ended with a kiss (he initiated). I wrote about this date in more detail in a previous post. He texted me first after date 1 saying he had a great time. I asked if he was available to go out again next week on Thursday. He texted that he’d love to but he was starting a new project at work and he didn’t know if he could, but maybe at 6pm for a bit. I let him lead the texting/getting in contact with me after that. I always responded upbeat. Thursday came around ( the day he said maybe to because he was potentially busy) and he texted me at 4pm saying “maybe Monday?” as into reschedule. I told him I couldn’t Monday bc I already had dinner plans with friends visiting from out of town. I suggested Thursday, he said that would work. Overtime, I became less interested. Too much time was beginning to pass and the thrill was gone for me. I also had more time to reflect on date 1 and he said/ did a few weird things (critiquing girls wearing red lipstick and then referencing a girl at the bar who could “pull it off”, saying his mom didn’t want to die until he got married and she would be happy if he brought home any girl at this point, even if she was wearing a shirt that said “i’m a h**ker”. He said this was a joke in the family) however all this on date one came off as a bit weird to me. He kept mentioning how he was the only non-married sibling and friend out of his friend group. Lots of complaining to me about other girls/dates. We haven’t texted too much since trying to reschedule. On my bday he texted me early in the AM wishing me happy bday with some funny graphics. I thanked him and a day later he asked how my bday was/what I did. I told him but didn’t hear a response. Today is the “date day” in which we both said we’re free. However no one ever set a time or a place, or referenced the date since last Wednesday. Truthfully, I have minimal desire to go/ am not really interested in taking the initiative to set the time or place. Should I formally cancel (even though there is no time or place set) or just not say anything and let this fizzle out?
olivetree Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 I would only cancel if he texts you about plans. If he does get in touch, just say you hadn't didn't have a plan in place so you didn't think it was still happening. If he wants to reschedule just be straight and say you've lost interest. 4
Toodaloo Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 Tell him you can't be bothered to go. Then fade. Keep your own standards and cancel because I am guessing that is what you would expect from someone else. But nah. This guy isn't all that bothered so why bother investing your time, finances and emotions? No point at all. 2
IfonlyIknew Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 He's kept you at arms length. I've found myself going on dates FOR THEM rather than myself. Our time is valuable and I've learned to ask myself if this is worth my time or not. 1
Bialy Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 "Hey. We made plans to meet today - but it's better if we cancel. I'm just not feeling up for it. It was nice meeting you on the 15th. Wishing you all the best. Take care." 4
Toodaloo Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 Mind you last time this happened to me was back in January. I couldn't be arsed to text so I went out to dance lessons instead. He cancelled just as I was pulling up to go in. My response was "that's fine I guessed already so gone dancing"... And yes he has tried a couple more times to "get together"... I ignored them because I couldn't be bothered. 2
kendahke Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 Should I formally cancel (even though there is no time or place set) or just not say anything and let this fizzle out? No. Just fade. He doesn't need to be alerted that you're ghosting. He'll figure it out. 2
hippychick3 Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 "Hey. We made plans to meet today - but it's better if we cancel. I'm just not feeling up for it. It was nice meeting you on the 15th. Wishing you all the best. Take care." This is perfect. It puts the OP in control of the situation and allows her to bow out gracefully and with dignity....as long as she doesn't text more than this and does NOT respond to him in any way if he responds. OP, just be done with this and move on. 4
alphamale Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 Truthfully, I have minimal desire to go/ am not really interested in taking the initiative to set the time or place. Should I formally cancel (even though there is no time or place set) or just not say anything and let this fizzle out? say/do nothing. ditch him, he's a loser 1
rester Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 "Hey. We made plans to meet today - but it's better if we cancel. I'm just not feeling up for it. It was nice meeting you on the 15th. Wishing you all the best. Take care." This is perfect. It puts the OP in control of the situation and allows her to bow out gracefully and with dignity....as long as she doesn't text more than this and does NOT respond to him in any way if he responds. OP, just be done with this and move on. I agree completely. Take the high road and text what Bialy said. It's common courtesy, something that guy you went out with doesn't have. 2
Zahara Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 Nothing to "formally" cancel when there was nothing formally planned. You should conclude that there are no plans to meet today. Even if he were to reach out today to suggest a time, you should ignore and kick this one to the curb. 2
Author ThisisIt606 Posted October 27, 2016 Author Posted October 27, 2016 (edited) Yeah, I def don't want to meet anymore but I think I will send that suggested text. I just want to clear the air and be up front ( I would like the same if I were on his end). Also it's late afternoon and he still hasn't texted at all, so I'm sure my text won't come as a shock to him. Or maybe it will be a shock in the sense that he forgot we made a date haha Edited October 27, 2016 by ThisisIt606 1
Author ThisisIt606 Posted November 8, 2016 Author Posted November 8, 2016 Not thrilled to bring this up again, but curious for you thoughts. He found me on another dating app ( different from the one we originally messaged on) -'d sent me " hey. Did you block my number? I tried texting you back but t didn't say delivered :/" I got this message yesterday. The post above references the date I canceled/said I wasn't interested in during during the last full week of October. I did block his number and also didn't answer this message asking me if I blocked his number. Do you all think this is a bit odd/ invasive for himtk find me again and question me? It was just 1 date.... I texted to cancel the date 2 ( which had to be rescheduled and didn't even have a time or place set) and then blocked him Bc I didn't want a rebuttal, just wanted to get my point across clearly
Sunlight72 Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 I wouldn't reply. He sounds tepid or lazy. Maybe he just saw your photo again and remembered how cute you are. Maybe he's tried three other women, and none replied. Doesn't mean he's more interested in you as a person than he was before. Stick to you decision. 2
Toodaloo Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 Not thrilled to bring this up again, but curious for you thoughts. He found me on another dating app ( different from the one we originally messaged on) -'d sent me " hey. Did you block my number? I tried texting you back but t didn't say delivered :/" I got this message yesterday. The post above references the date I canceled/said I wasn't interested in during during the last full week of October. I did block his number and also didn't answer this message asking me if I blocked his number. Do you all think this is a bit odd/ invasive for himtk find me again and question me? It was just 1 date.... I texted to cancel the date 2 ( which had to be rescheduled and didn't even have a time or place set) and then blocked him Bc I didn't want a rebuttal, just wanted to get my point across clearly I would send a message back saying something along the lines of; "I enjoyed our first date but I think we both knew it wasn't going anywhere to get to a second. I cancelled to be polite as so many are fakes these days and blocked because so many are also abusive when you say no. Good luck in your search" Leave him blocked. Job done. 1
Miss Peach Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 I would only cancel if he texts you about plans. If he does get in touch, just say you hadn't didn't have a plan in place so you didn't think it was still happening. If he wants to reschedule just be straight and say you've lost interest. This is what I would do. I also let guys know ahead of time to let me know the day before so I can plan my day so that I don't get into waiting until the last minute. if they don't then it's the same as flaking to me when they try to come back the day of.
Recommended Posts