Is it really so wrong for Friend A to date Friend Bs ex-girlfriend/boyfriend?

[ZayKayWill]

This is something I have been thinking about lately. When I first thought about it I would be pissed at my friend for dating someone that I still had feelings for. But after thinking about it I feel that's kind of an immature way to look at things. It would definitely hurt me, but honestly what right do I have to control who my friend does or doesn't date? I mean if he was dating her just to get some that would be one thing...but if they legitimately have feelings for each other, I feel as if no one should stand in the way of that. I would be really hurt, probably mad even, but that would be my problem...even though I would be really upset that my friend chose to date my ex over any other girl, he has a right to do so...I have to move on eventually...I mean right? If she weren't to get with him it would have been some other guy anyway.

[Herbalist]

I would say instead of judging it as right or wrong instead consider your feelings and if you need a boundary there. If it is upsetting to you to be friends with someone who dates your ex, then you have the right to not be their friend or to distance yourself.

 

That was a big break through in therapy for me years ago like when I realized I focused too much on trying to analyze things instead of just navigating life with my own boundaries in mind. It makes life a lot easier and less stressful in some ways.