marky00 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I am Day 100 I think. It gets worse before it gets better. Just a heads up. 1
Author lovebug_5858 Posted October 31, 2016 Author Posted October 31, 2016 Marky00 Proud of your 100 days. And yes I know, unfortunately.
marky00 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 Yeh around days 70 - 90 or so, the urge to contact got quite bad. That urge has backed off a little. I'm honestly so tired of wresting with myself but at least I have a chance of one day feeling better.
Author lovebug_5858 Posted October 31, 2016 Author Posted October 31, 2016 I know the feeling. That happened with me and my ex before this one. I got the urge to see him after a year and half of NC. We actually ended up having breakfast and kind of caught up. We both agreed the ending of our relationship was the best possible thing in our situation. It was nice to realize that someone I once felt like I was dying was just like any other human being, sitting across from me and I felt nothing.
marky00 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 Yes, Unfortunately I was in an LDR so mine is overseas. But, yes, I have thought maybe in a couple of years a meet and greet may be an option. The only reason being to sit across from her and feel nothing. Its quite strange actually but I think long-term, the dumper usually has some residual feelings provided the dumpee didn't beg and plead etc. But, I think quite a lot of dumpees may reach complete indifference because they have to do so much mental work on their own. 1
Author lovebug_5858 Posted October 31, 2016 Author Posted October 31, 2016 I don't know... I broke up my other ex but I guess in a way it was more a mutual decision because of how bad everything was. He said terrible things to me so I really had no choice but to end it. I always felt like it hurt me more than it hurt him. Now, about 2 years after it all, I have nothing at all feelings wise for him but every so often he sends me a text to see me. I don't believe he has feelings I think he just wants physical contact. So I don't know, I strongly doubt he has residual feelings for me but I guess after all this time it doesn't really matter. That's all over with and we've both accepted that, a very long time ago.
Crescendo Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 You are quite strong dude! Really you are! I got dumped by my ex and still ended up talking to her. I actually did the NC (No contact?) thing right after we broke up. I didn't say a word to her for like a month. She reached out to me then I ended up talking back. I should have stayed in NC. So you are braver than most. Keep going on. I think the part of being single after a breakup, you start seeing things in life that weren't there before or learning about what you are made of. You couldn't see that when you're with someone. 1
Author lovebug_5858 Posted October 31, 2016 Author Posted October 31, 2016 Well it's still ONLY been like 4 days of NC, so I wouldn't say I'm that strong lol. I guess we'll see how it goes from here. I'm holding steadfast to at least 30 days NC no matter what happens because I need clarity and to take a step back from everything. I sit for my boards in less than 2 months so I really can't afford all of this chaos.
Crescendo Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I really hope it all works out for you. The post is quite inspiring. 1
Author lovebug_5858 Posted October 31, 2016 Author Posted October 31, 2016 I'm really hoping it all goes well too. I'll be posting quite often so I guess we'll both find out
Kelley Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I have done a months NC now and you do get to step back and get clarity. I'm glad I did it and continue to keep NC. My ex cheated then left me for her. He then came crawling back, had I not done NC and wasn't thinking straight I may have taken him back. But with clarity you think and see straight, you are not dominated by feelings only! There is no way in my right mind I would take back someone that has cheated on me! Thanks NC. 1
Author lovebug_5858 Posted October 31, 2016 Author Posted October 31, 2016 Thank you Kelley for that. I also especially liked your signature quote on the bottom. Clarity is something we lack when we are emotional we just feel that immediate need for our emotional appetite to be satisfied but we don't see the flaws in our relationship that is generally coming through and out of the seams. I'm hoping I get a lot of that much needed clarity soon.
Author lovebug_5858 Posted November 1, 2016 Author Posted November 1, 2016 Still feeling very up and down one minute I feel like I am completely overreacting and I shouldn't be nearly this upset because the fact of the matter is that he chose to leave, again. So I'm not losing anything but someone who will continually give up. On the other side I feel like I'm this horrible person who has again failed at a relationship I deeply cared for and I begin to doubt myself. Did I take him for granted? Did I not show him what I needed to as, a partner? Am I okay for wanting to focus on my schoolwork? I wasn't trying to put us on the back burner... I just thought we were strong enough and secure enough in our relationship to understand that we had bigger things to accomplish at the time, and sacrificing our time together would be forgiven for our mutual benefit... I find that the best way to go about this is being positive. Understanding that this time is needed for clarity and for understanding. At first we all feel like we can't live without this person but the majority of the time it's just from habit, routine, etc. I don't know how he feels about me... And I know I shouldn't worry about that but I do... I don't know what I hope he's feeling or what I want. It doesn't matter though. For now, I accept this sadness and understand it will be here for quite some time. I've gotten rid of the only social media we were connected on. Last time we broke up he posted a picture with another girl which devastated me, and I want to avoid all of that. Avoid everything to do with him. Until I'm ready to see clearly through my feelings which won't be for quite some time. I'm going to step away from this thread as well because I must admit it makes me obsessive and once I start thinking of it I think of him, I read everyone's stories and compare notes. It's bad. This is day 5, I'll try to come back for day 10 and see where I'm at.
Author lovebug_5858 Posted November 3, 2016 Author Posted November 3, 2016 Cried on and off all day yesterday. I did not sleep at all. Had an exam this morning I did great on it but even while taking it he was all I could think of. I'm obsessing over it I know I am but I'm like a drug addict wanting to just get a snippet of his voice to just talk to him to be near him. What is wrong with me
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