florecilla88 Posted October 26, 2016 Posted October 26, 2016 (edited) Hello I am new here and I am happy I found this forum so I can get some feeling out my heart! I was with this guy not for long (6 months) but he was my bestfriend before (I thought I knew him!!!), we met in Ireland, but we come from different countries. The 6 months were really beautiful, he was always there, I was there for him as well... he was always telling me he loved me, he was always sweet and lovely with me, we had friends in common... well, all was good... or so I thought while I was in the relationship of course, after he broke up with me 3 weeks ago, I´ve realized many things. We never had a big fight, I only got really upset with him once because he compared me to all his exes... like I was not enough, and I told him it hurt me a lot... well, he kinda changed that, but it happened 2 months before he dumped me. The last 2 months I got pretty sick... I had neumonia, I got intoxicated with black mould...and I was feeling really depressed because all the medicaments and intoxication...but he was there, he was even sleeping with me while I was really sick with the neumonia and taking care of me. When I got better... he dumped me, out of the blue, it happened in the afternoon. We went to have lunch with a bunch of friends and he was really sweet with me in front of everybody, but then we went to his place and he started to act really weird and cold so I asked him if he had something to tell me (I knew his expressions) he told me no, and I told him yes you have... he looked at my eyes... and I just, I just knew... I just felt it... I told him, you want to break up with me. He started crying and he told me he was not sure, no, yes, no yes... well... finally he dumped me, why? according to him he made everything to make me happy and he could not and that I should go back to my country. I was shocked. I told him i have been depressed because all medicaments and the sickness not because of him, but he dumped me anyway. Then, at 5:30 a.m he came to my place and stayed there till 9... it was really bad... he told me first that he loved me, that I was the woman that loved him more and I was the perfect girlfriend and that he thought it was the worst mistake of his life (leaving me), then that no... and when he saw me crying he told me "I want to **** you, I don´t know why seeing you cry turns me on", I felt horrible and I told him to leave. Done. Then... next day we met on the street and it was the most horrible thing I ever experienced... He told me that he broke up with me because he never loved me, that he tried to love me but he never did, that every time he told me he loved me was to make me feel good, that all sweet things were because it was an obligation, that he didn´t want to waste his time with me anymore, that with all his exes he felt they were the women of his life (they all dumped him) and that with me he never felt anything, that with them he only needed to watch a movie to be happy and with me... nothing, just nothing. I told him to f.off... that he was the best actor I ever met and that it was the end of the story. Well... I was feeling really heartbroken and I decided to go back to my country and stay with my family, when I arrived to my country I knew he was getting really drunk (when I met him he was mostly drunk and partying, he even told me he felt frustrated because since he was with me he didn´t drink that much and he needed to drink to be happy O_o) and smoking a lot, so...silly me, I texted him and I told him to please stop that and that I was worried and that he should maybe start thinking about going back to his country with his family like we were planning (he asked me to move with him in the future to his country, which I love)... his answer was terrible, again he didn´t love, he never did... same old and that he totally moved on, he was mature now! and he wanted me to find a boyfriend I can share a pure and compromised love because I´ ve been blessed with pure love. Wtf. So well... I told him thanks for all beautiful moments and that I forgave him for everything and that I didn´t want to have more contact with him and that I agreed with the breakup. He never answered me back... (to something good, he couldn´t). It has been now, tomorrow, 1 week no contact, I have no intentions of contacting him... He dumped me, it has consequences. I never begged him, I never will. Coming back to my country was the best decision ever and the funny thing is that... I got a job in his country... which I accepted, cause I thought if I wanted to go when we were together (I even told him if he wanted to stay longer in Ireland I could go myself and then see him there haha), I was not gonna say no to a job I like in a place a like just because we are not together anymore. I even started to write a blog about positive thinking... I mean, I´ve not stopped my life... but... a part of me still asking why he ended the things that way... he ever told me I never did nothing to him (which is true! when he compared me to his exes I even just told him to stop!) but... how a person that is that lovely... can turn into a...monster in just an afternoon?? I know... he is an immature and one day I will thank him for dumping me, as my brother told me... But still... I cannot believe... I am sorry the post is really long...I just needed to take all that out of my heart... Edited October 26, 2016 by florecilla88
MsJayne Posted October 26, 2016 Posted October 26, 2016 I'm sorry to read your story. I'm guessing that maybe after he'd been dumped by other girlfriends he felt safer with someone he was ' in like' with rather than 'in love'. On the upside, it was 6 months and not 6 years, and though he could have been a lot less insensitive about the way he handled the breakup, the fact that he was honest was at least an indicator that he respects you. Keep going with the NC, you can do it.
Author florecilla88 Posted October 26, 2016 Author Posted October 26, 2016 (edited) I'm sorry to read your story. I'm guessing that maybe after he'd been dumped by other girlfriends he felt safer with someone he was ' in like' with rather than 'in love'. On the upside, it was 6 months and not 6 years, and though he could have been a lot less insensitive about the way he handled the breakup, the fact that he was honest was at least an indicator that he respects you. Keep going with the NC, you can do it. Do you think he respected me comparing me with his exes while breaking up and saying seeing me crying was a turn on and all that? I don´t know actually... I was always the one that slowed the things down, because he always rushed the things from the beginning, he introduced me to his family ( I told my family but didn´t introduce him to them), he talked about moving to his country, always I love you etc (he even talked about marriage!!!! and I told him I wouldn´t get married in less than 2 years because it is something serious and we needed to know each other better)... and I always told him that things need a good communication etc, but that I loved him truly. He seemed to be quite happy with me, he even told me, and everybody (friends and family) how much he loved me, that he was in love with me... he had our photo everywhere...(his mobile phone as screen, his wallet, facebook) and then out of the blue boom! never loved me, all was a lie... his exes were the love of his life (all of them) and I was nothing to him... it was quite hard O_o if he was honest... then he lied to us all. Yes, the way broke up with me tells me a lot about him... he didn´t love me that for sure... he didn´t even care... I mean, I´ve had breakups before and with relationships that didn´t work at all and they just told me, or I told them, it is not working... and why, ok, bye. But... I think it was not necessary to attack me like that... He was always sweet, as a friend and as a boyfriend, and ouot of the blue he attacked me like that... of course I know it was not my fault, I mean, the way he did all that, he has a problem... insecurity maybe...I don´t know... I changed my telephone number and blocked him on facebook... Edited October 26, 2016 by florecilla88
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