Is having a really attractive girlfriend worth it?

[five2nine]

Not sure why people think ALL women get hit on... not true at all

[NJ123]

Not sure why people think ALL women get hit on... not true at all

 

I was wondering why people thought that as well. The vast majority of the time I'd like to think it's the attractive women that get hit on a lot. Or at least they do way more than average looking women.

[S_A]

The average woman can still be pretty freaking hot. I mean, women on average, are hot Therefore, the average woman is hot.

[NJ123]

The average woman can still be pretty freaking hot. I mean, women on average, are hot Therefore, the average woman is hot.

 

It's all according to the individual. Some guys could think an average woman is really attractive, while others not so much. But when you see a woman that's deemed as attractive, you'll know it since the vast majority of men would think she's attractive.

[Herbalist]

Just want to chime in to confirm that yes any woman could get hit on, if they are in the right place at the right time and the right guy is there. I was once at the gas station at like 3AM buying cigarettes, and I was in sweats with greasy hair and terrible eye bags and everything, plus being a little fat. It had been one of those weeks, I was sick with the flu and man I looked just awful. The cashier tried to set up a date with me. First time I had been publicly hit on in like two years, too. The world is strange.

[NJ123]

Just want to chime in to confirm that yes any woman could get hit on, if they are in the right place at the right time and the right guy is there. I was once at the gas station at like 3AM buying cigarettes, and I was in sweats with greasy hair and terrible eye bags and everything, plus being a little fat. It had been one of those weeks, I was sick with the flu and man I looked just awful. The cashier tried to set up a date with me. First time I had been publicly hit on in like two years, too. The world is strange.

 

lol what were you exactly doing out at 3AM buying cigarettes if you were sick with the flu? And what happened with the cashier? What did you say to him when he asked you out?

[NuevoYorko]

I was wondering why people thought that as well. The vast majority of the time I'd like to think it's the attractive women that get hit on a lot. Or at least they do way more than average looking women.

I don't think so. The super attractive ones can be intimidating to many men; more average or even less than average looking women seem approachable to less confident men. Plus, as someone already said in this thread, there are certain types of guys who actively prey on unattractive women, thinking that they are desperate for attention and will be "easy."

[NJ123]

I don't think so. The super attractive ones can be intimidating to many men; more average or even less than average looking women seem approachable to less confident men. Plus, as someone already said in this thread, there are certain types of guys who actively prey on unattractive women, thinking that they are desperate for attention and will be "easy."

 

Yeah, that's true too. But someone has to be asking out the really attractive ones too in general or else all of them will be single. Obviously it's confident men asking them out, but the ones that are given a chance are likely good looking themselves.

[NuevoYorko]

Yeah, that's true too. But someone has to be asking out the really attractive ones too in general or else all of them will be single. Obviously it's confident men asking them out, but the ones that are given a chance are likely good looking themselves.

Of course someone's asking them out. I was addressing your concerns about dating them, and your evident idea that avoiding dating super attractive women would alleviate them.

[Popsicle]

Why not turn it into a math equation?

 

[elaine567]

Dating is all about pairing up, so if ONLY the most attractive women get hit on, then where does that leave 99.9% of the population?

 

Plenty "locker room talk" and stares and nudges around very attractive women, but your average guy is NOT going to make a serious move on a truly beautiful woman, in case she says no or laughs in his face.

I think some men make semi serious moves on other guy's beautiful gfs, because they know they have little or no chance and the excuse "I have a bf" is better than a flat refusal, They are just chancing their luck.

Truly beautiful women can sometimes find it difficult to find bfs, as guys may not want to risk being refused by her, so don't ask her on dates.

 

Average guys tend to hit on average or below average women, only very confident* or very good looking guys make a serious play for beautiful women, otherwise most men know their own level and hit on every other available woman around.

 

Of course an an engaging personality, a great body and a winning smile can convert pretty average looking people into super stars, as can be witnessed every day in the celebrity world.

So "attractive" is sometimes difficult to quantify.

I have seen some men go gaga over women that are by no means objectively beautiful, some may even say ugly, and also for them to basically ignore women who are indeed objectively classically beautiful, so it is not an exact science.

 

*Confident - due to personality, wit, talent, money...

[salparadise]

Why not turn it into a math equation?

 

Love that scene, and the movie. Only problem is, there are five women and five guys. What Nash suggests only works if one of the guys removes himself.

 

Plenty "locker room talk" and stares and nudges around very attractive women, but your average guy is NOT going to make a serious move on a truly beautiful woman, in case she says no or laughs in his face.

 

I think some men make semi serious moves on other guy's beautiful gfs, because they know they have little or no chance and the excuse "I have a bf" is better than a flat refusal, They are just chancing their luck.

Truly beautiful women can sometimes find it difficult to find bfs, as guys may not want to risk being refused by her, so don't ask her on dates.

 

Average guys tend to hit on average or below average women, only very confident* or very good looking guys make a serious play for beautiful women, otherwise most men know their own level and hit on every other available woman around. [/i]

 

All of possibilities are realized from time to time. I think it's true that average guys tend to go for women on their own level. People usually have a realistic sense of what's possible given their perceived market value. Guys who are used to being successful will see the highly attractive woman as a real possibility, where the average guys will not.

 

But there is also the nothing to lose mentality; the nothing ventured, nothing gained attitude. If a guy has already discounted his chances to nearly zero, then he may be willing to take a chance and not mind getting shot down, reasoning that he's no worse off being shot down than if he doesn't give it a try. That is realistic, even if less likely. It could be deemed less embarrassing to get shot down by the best looking woman in the room than to strike out with an average woman. Plus, there are times a woman is simply read to roll, in which case he might score one out of his league if he can read the cues correctly. There are many so variables, and sometimes the low odds possibility wins.

 

What's true from the larger perspective––in the genetic lotto, where proliferation is all that counts––is that the female reproductive capacity is the bottleneck and essential to a male's success. Eggs are valuable, sperm are a dime per billion. Nature utilizes all female capacity, and optimizes for quality by being selective with regard to which male genes are chosen (by the females). It's competitive for men, but not for women (From Birds & Bees 101).

 

For some reason [some] women tend not to like that perspective. My smart, educated girlfriend somehow manages to discount aspects of evolutionary science. I had her read "The Moral Animal" by Robert Wright, which is an excellent primer on evolution and evolutionary psychology, and she strongly disagreed with certain parts saying that those aspects are uniquely the male perspective. I've tried to explain that her rejection is based on her own feelings and biases, which have to be set aside in order to appreciate and assess objectively. She still isn't convinced, and she out ranks me academically.

[Els]

I hate to break this to you, OP, but it's frankly pretty pointless to count on a woman's 'lack of attractiveness' to make you feel secure. If you're extremely insecure, you're going to tear any relationship you get into apart, no matter who you're with.

 

I definitely wouldn't classify myself as 'really attractive' (if we really need to go down that path), but I've certainly been hit on. No, none of these offers made me want to leave my guy. Because he treats me right and is *hint hint* not insecure.

 

You're just creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[lostsoul16]

My gf is insanely attractive. She constantly gets hit on, her pictures get hundreds of likes, and I've had to deal with several of her male friends confess their undying love for her. She has always told me, and being a guy knew they were faking friendship and waiting in the wings for us to fail.

 

I used to get very jealous, and critique her every handling of guys coming on to her. It would ruin most nights. It took a 3 month split for me to realise I need to just accept that this will never go away, and I should always be happy she's coming home with me.

 

It's totally worth it if she's amazing beyond her looks, the looks will fade but who she is won't. I've dated pretty girls so far up themselves they weren't worth my time.

[Leigh 87]

Ummm I am not a truly beautiful woman. Just moderately cute, the better end of average universally speaking.

 

Yet I have had men fall head over heels for me, men who thought I was " very good looking ", and my own boyfriend does NOT View me as some average woman he went for due to his own average looks.....

 

Just because the world sees me as average that doesn't mean my own boyfriend viewed me in that same light. One oersons trash or average, is another mans version of gorgeous.

 

All it takes is one nice feature, for instance, I have plump lips and straight teeth, and there WILL be at least SOME men who literally think you are hot and gorgeous territory. Despite the vast majority viewing you as average.

 

So my own boyfriend found me hot and attractive to him. So in his mind he IS dating an attractive girl.

 

Explain that? Are you saying he would secretly KNOW that I am not that attractive to most men but simply do it for him and only him, and am indeed invisible to the vast majority.

 

Would he KNOW that he is not dating an attractive girl? Despite his wild attraction towards me from day one?

[Leigh 87]

My gf is insanely attractive. She constantly gets hit on, her pictures get hundreds of likes, and I've had to deal with several of her male friends confess their undying love for her. She has always told me, and being a guy knew they were faking friendship and waiting in the wings for us to fail.

 

I used to get very jealous, and critique her every handling of guys coming on to her. It would ruin most nights. It took a 3 month split for me to realise I need to just accept that this will never go away, and I should always be happy she's coming home with me.

 

It's totally worth it if she's amazing beyond her looks, the looks will fade but who she is won't. I've dated pretty girls so far up themselves they weren't worth my time.

 

 

 

Some rude guy who was my exes friend once told my ex in front of me that he was lucky he was not dating a " beautiful girl " since they get men learning at them at every turn

 

He was obviously an ass.

 

As a non beautiful girl I can attest to getting hit on ALL the time and men iOS ky stare at me daily.

 

Every one of my exes mates hit on me. Sometimes when my ex was asleep in the next room, or in the same room:sick: Being non insanely good looking has not prevented men drooling over me and hitting on me. I dress classy and do not have major cleavage spilling out. I am just nicely curvy with a nice smile on top of my average looks.

 

It really is all women who get loads of attention as long as they dress well and for their body type. I will say that more feminine looking women get hit in the most even if they are plain. I am quite average yet have an hourglass figure with ample breasts and so get looks daily despite not being insanely hot. I am a 6 to most.

 

Most men probably at least know your girl is probably taken; girls like me are accessible to most men who think they can get us.

[victoria88]

"Exactly...the brutal truth is that really pretty women are just that; sans spackle, hair dressers, nail salons, spa treatments and plastic surgeons.

They really do wake up that way."

 

 

Wow, I had to write something here:

 

Your ideas about pretty girls are not very correct: they rarely wear make-up, they go to hair dressers, nails salons & spa treatment from time to time (and some are proud to pay by themselves for all this) and have no need of plastic surgeries to look better.

 

My personal opinion is a beautiful woman must be also beautiful from inside (this is perfection).

 

Many beautiful women are proud to be financially independent so they do NOT expect the man to participate in any of their expenses (from beauty expenses to restaurants).

 

p.s. If a woman needs make-up and plastic surgeries in order to show up in front of a man, then we talk about NON-attractive women...

Edited November 8, 2016 by victoria88

[Timshel]

Sans | Sans Definition by Merriam-Webster

 

Sans=without

 

I agree with you entirely victoria.

[Fair]

The quality of the types of men who hit on attractive women are pitiful... don't worry about them. Worry about being the best YOU you can be in order to maintain your relationship..

 

Also...

 

don't assume less attractive women are going to treat you any better. These women often cheat the most because they can fly under the radar more easily than the pretty one everyone is watching lest she make one false move... and yes... they do that... because everyone gets nervous around a pretty woman... whether it's justified or not.

[Dis]

Dating is all about pairing up, so if ONLY the most attractive women get hit on, then where does that leave 99.9% of the population?

 

Plenty "locker room talk" and stares and nudges around very attractive women, but your average guy is NOT going to make a serious move on a truly beautiful woman, in case she says no or laughs in his face.

I think some men make semi serious moves on other guy's beautiful gfs, because they know they have little or no chance and the excuse "I have a bf" is better than a flat refusal, They are just chancing their luck.

Truly beautiful women can sometimes find it difficult to find bfs, as guys may not want to risk being refused by her, so don't ask her on dates.

 

Average guys tend to hit on average or below average women, only very confident* or very good looking guys make a serious play for beautiful women, otherwise most men know their own level and hit on every other available woman around.

 

Of course an an engaging personality, a great body and a winning smile can convert pretty average looking people into super stars, as can be witnessed every day in the celebrity world.

So "attractive" is sometimes difficult to quantify.

I have seen some men go gaga over women that are by no means objectively beautiful, some may even say ugly, and also for them to basically ignore women who are indeed objectively classically beautiful, so it is not an exact science.

 

*Confident - due to personality, wit, talent, money...

 

Elaine is spot on

 

IME, guys feel safer hitting on women who they know they might have a chance with...they're too scared to take a chance on a woman who's in the gorgeous catagory

 

I'm a 9/10 and I swear I will get hit on once every 10 months or so....thats it! I'm really sweet, very down to earth, I treat my bfs like gold....and I cant seem to get one single guy to gather up the courage to say hi to me

 

My gfs will mention getting hit on at X or at Y...and I honestly cant remember the last time a guy approached me

 

So me for...it actually works the opposite way...men are scared of me. This is what they do....I see a guy looking at me and once I look back at him, he turns his head in 0.25 seconds, like he just heard a gun shot in the other direction...I try to to smile but....no luck

 

So if a guy is dating a really really really attractive woman....he wont have to worry about her getting hit on...ever

[SammySammy]

Elaine is spot on

 

IME, guys feel safer hitting on women who they know they might have a chance with...they're too scared to take a chance on a woman who's in the gorgeous catagory

 

I'm a 9/10 and I swear I will get hit on once every 10 months or so....thats it! I'm really sweet, very down to earth, I treat my bfs like gold....and I cant seem to get one single guy to gather up the courage to say hi to me

 

My gfs will mention getting hit on at X or at Y...and I honestly cant remember the last time a guy approached me

 

So me for...it actually works the opposite way...men are scared of me. This is what they do....I see a guy looking at me and once I look back at him, he turns his head in 0.25 seconds, like he just heard a gun shot in the other direction...I try to to smile but....no luck

 

So if a guy is dating a really really really attractive woman....he wont have to worry about her getting hit on...ever

 

Interesting.

 

If you were the most attractive woman in the room, then you would be the ONLY woman I would talk to. Ignore the rest.

 

Some guys have a different mindset. And get different results because of it.

 

My friends have seen me do that many times and some of them still can't figure out why I seem to always end up with an attractive woman.

 

I refuse to tell them the answer is simple: High standards and rock solid confidence.

[fenix]

It seems like to have an attractive girlfriend the guy has to have no insecurities whatsoever since she's highly likely going to get hit on when he's not around. And he has to trust her enough to not do anything when he's not around. Also, I'm sure some of them get hit on even while with their husband/boyfriend around.

 

A question for men that have/had attractive girlfriends/wives, do other men hit on them in front of you? And how do you deal with that if it did happen?

 

The thing is that very attractive women tend to date very attractive/successful men (it is not a rule but a reality), and those men have the same opportunities to cheat than their girlfriends...you got to have a live and let live philosophy and trust your partner.

 

My wife is extremely beautiful and she gets attention from men there were she goes, do I trust those men around my wife? Definitely not ...but I trust my wife. I have lived more than 20 years with her and we are almost 20 years married and she never gave me a reason not to trust her.

Why would I get crazy about the possibility that she is cheating? If she is decided to do it she will do it anyway... If she wants to cheat she will have enough voluntaries, that is a fact but the truth is that she chose to be with me and she chooses every day to be with me. If one day she decides to cheat (and I find about it) I may change the way I think about this and decisions will be taken if that ever happen... till then I am not going to live my life fearing for something probably will never happen...and I am enjoying having a smart and beautiful woman with me.

[deep_night]

instead of talking yourself out of the things you really want, why don't you go after the things you really want (= the woman YOU think is the most attractive and lovely in your circle)? you can't predict the future. maybe this woman could really want you as well.

[Dis]

Interesting.

 

If you were the most attractive woman in the room, then you would be the ONLY woman I would talk to. Ignore the rest.

 

Some guys have a different mindset. And get different results because of it.

 

My friends have seen me do that many times and some of them still can't figure out why I seem to always end up with an attractive woman.

 

I refuse to tell them the answer is simple: High standards and rock solid confidence.

 

Exactly!

 

I wish more guys thought the way you do

 

Men just need to have more confidence. I dont need an above average looking guy....an average guy with confidence is just as attractive as a hot guy

 

I'm happy to give a guy a chance....he just needs to take it!

[jay1983]

If you're talking very objectively attractive, I say no. I've had the privilege of dating a couple, exactly 2 girls who were noticeably more attractive than myself. Both were some of the most entitled, self absorbed and everything stereotypical.

 

But!!!!

 

You should still do it to experience yourself. We only live once.