newbie_girl Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 So I'm still pretty new to dating. I started talking to a guy earlier this year and we texted/talked for 2 weeks before he finally asked me out for coffee. I had already lined up dates before that because I assumed he was not interested. One night he asked what I was doing and I said I was going out and he asked if it was a date. I said yes. He seemed a little upset then nothing after that. Fast forward more than half a year later, I'm back on the market and run into him again online. We start texting again for a couple of days. It's mostly small talk and no phone conversations so I assume he's not interested after last time and just wanted a text buddy. So I continue talking to other people and someone asked me out on a date and I went. Well I let this guy know since what happened last time and I wanted to be honest. I asked if he would still like to continue talking and he basically blew up at me and called me a very ugly person. Is that wrong of me to talk to other people while just texting someone else? How am I to know he's interested in me if he doesn't ask me out? He said he didn't want to be a jerk and rush things and how could I not know he was not interested in me since he texts. I feel like I did something wrong and didn't mean to hurt him.
smackie9 Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 Will you please block/delete/ignore this guy.......he's just a jerk you can totally live without....he isn't worth your time, nor this thread. 2
hippychick3 Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 You can talk to and date anyone you want to if you're not in a relationship! You don't owe anyone any explanation unless you have gone on several dates with that person and he wants to date you exclusively. Any guy you are strictly texting with is just a STRANGER. Until you have met up, you don't know him or owe him anything. And any guy who wants a texting pen pal is not worth your time. Online is a medium to meet up. It's not a substitute for going on dates. 2
stillafool Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 So I'm still pretty new to dating. I started talking to a guy earlier this year and we texted/talked for 2 weeks before he finally asked me out for coffee. I had already lined up dates before that because I assumed he was not interested. One night he asked what I was doing and I said I was going out and he asked if it was a date. I said yes. He seemed a little upset then nothing after that. Fast forward more than half a year later, I'm back on the market and run into him again online. We start texting again for a couple of days. It's mostly small talk and no phone conversations so I assume he's not interested after last time and just wanted a text buddy. So I continue talking to other people and someone asked me out on a date and I went. Well I let this guy know since what happened last time and I wanted to be honest. I asked if he would still like to continue talking and he basically blew up at me and called me a very ugly person. Is that wrong of me to talk to other people while just texting someone else? How am I to know he's interested in me if he doesn't ask me out? He said he didn't want to be a jerk and rush things and how could I not know he was not interested in me since he texts. I feel like I did something wrong and didn't mean to hurt him. Sweetie you are not new to dating. Yes you are right to go out with other people because you are free and not in a relationship with anyone. If he wants to be with you he would ask you out on a proper date. 1
Author newbie_girl Posted October 25, 2016 Author Posted October 25, 2016 Sweetie you are not new to dating. Haha. The first of the lined up dates turned into a relationship so I canceled the other ones. That didn't work out so I took a break and just started dating again. Still trying to figure out the "rules". 1
Miss Peach Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 Will you please block/delete/ignore this guy.......he's just a jerk you can totally live without....he isn't worth your time, nor this thread. I totally agree with this. If you hadn't even been on a date there was no way for him to think he had any right to dictate exclusivity yet. Sheesh! I don't know what it is but I have run into a few men like this lately. They are not the norm. Now I had had a few men make jokes about it. They have told me something like I hope you have a boring time with the other guy. But the type of behavior your brought up OP would be a red flag IMO. Be glad you learned that early on and didn't date him or waste much time with him. 1
IfonlyIknew Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 You are not dating wrong, HE IS! If he's interested he needs to be a man about it and make that clear. This is the perfect example of playing games. 2
SwordofFlame Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 The guy is a time waster. There's plenty of people like him online. Block him and continue going out with other people. 1
kmack513 Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 You are not dating wrong, HE IS! If he's interested he needs to be a man about it and make that clear. This is the perfect example of playing games. Your post sums it up nicely.
strawberryshortstack Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 I totally agree with this. If you hadn't even been on a date there was no way for him to think he had any right to dictate exclusivity yet. Sheesh! I don't know what it is but I have run into a few men like this lately. They are not the norm. Now I had had a few men make jokes about it. They have told me something like I hope you have a boring time with the other guy. But the type of behavior your brought up OP would be a red flag IMO. Be glad you learned that early on and didn't date him or waste much time with him. No one has the right to dictate exclusivity, period. Least of all before they've even met.
40somethingGuy Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 So I'm still pretty new to dating. I started talking to a guy earlier this year and we texted/talked for 2 weeks before he finally asked me out for coffee. I had already lined up dates before that because I assumed he was not interested. One night he asked what I was doing and I said I was going out and he asked if it was a date. I said yes. He seemed a little upset then nothing after that. Fast forward more than half a year later, I'm back on the market and run into him again online. We start texting again for a couple of days. It's mostly small talk and no phone conversations so I assume he's not interested after last time and just wanted a text buddy. So I continue talking to other people and someone asked me out on a date and I went. Well I let this guy know since what happened last time and I wanted to be honest. I asked if he would still like to continue talking and he basically blew up at me and called me a very ugly person. Is that wrong of me to talk to other people while just texting someone else? How am I to know he's interested in me if he doesn't ask me out? He said he didn't want to be a jerk and rush things and how could I not know he was not interested in me since he texts. I feel like I did something wrong and didn't mean to hurt him. Say HELLO to another guy and this guy will be all up your arse. Take it from another man- he is not a man. He is the poster boy for insecure.
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 You can certainly date as many guys as you wish but do you HAVE to tell them about each other? Would you want to hear as you are making plans to meet up with a guy that he can't make this or that day because he has other dates lined up? I dunnow, it's assumed people will be multi-dating at the beginning you don't have to "rub it on another guy's face" Though this particular guy does sound extra jealous...yikes! 1
joseb Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 I actually see this one a little differently than most posters. I think a white lie might have been better the first time. no need to rub it in you are on a date. Then you start chatting to him again, and again you are telling him you are going on another date. It's almost like you were playing with him. 99% of guys don't want pen pals, so I can see why he would be confused how you didn't understand he was interested. He will assume if you are on a dating site you will be talking to other people, but that doesn't mean he wants to hear about your dates. Now it sounds like he hasn't handled it that we'll, so maybe it's all for the best.
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