K2z Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 I went through a huge breakup trauma on this site, spanning about a year and a half back from this writing. I don't have the best history of relationships. The big ones have been wonderful, flames, drama, self-loathing and agony, straggle to my feet. I'm 47 now and as I walked the other day, epiphany-like, it came to me: I think I'm alone now. I think it's done. Relationships, attraction, romance, all that. I honestly suspect it's done. I will maybe get the occasional dalliance. A taste of sugar here and there. But arc-of-life wise, I think I probably need to reframe myself as, half voluntarily and half involuntarily, celibate and single for the rest of my days. My Mom is 70. I hope she lives to 100 but if she passes, the only nuclear family I have left is gone. I think it may just be my destiny to walk the earth alone. Maybe to write and document. Or?
keiji Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 (edited) Or perhaps you mistake "alone" for "single", which are entirely different things. The first one is certainly sad; the second one isn't necessarily. Most of the people here have seen all of their relationships fail. I know I have, and I'm turning 39 in a couple of months. I'm not a youngster either. I don't know what the future holds in store, but I've learned to live a rich life without needing an SO. However, that makes me think more positively. I'm not needy but I think that some day I'll meet someone who turns my world upside down and I'll be in the right state of mind and soul to welcome them with open arms. If it doesn't happen, I'm fine, at least for the time being. We must learn to appreciate our daily life as individual entities, imo. Edited October 25, 2016 by keiji 3
mikeylo Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 I don't know your history but when you stop looking , is when you find someone ! Continue living your life,get busy and you might be surprised 2
Zapbasket Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 I believe wholly that it is never too late to find real love, so long as you remain open to it. And part of remaining open to it is to be sure you spend some time examining your role in all your relationships' failures. Is your picker broken? Are you misogynistic? Deep down, do you really WANT a partner? Etc. etc. etc. I've been asking myself lately if I really WANT a partner at this point. I mean, ultimately I do, but maybe right now I don't, so that I can continue working on myself. I think I'm not entirely open again after my last breakup, that hurt something awful. But I am confident that I WILL open up again...probably when I meet someone who reawakens my love. But I trust it will happen someday, and it can happen for us all. 2
Kelley Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 (edited) I'm a believer love will find us at any age, any stage of life as long as we are open to it. I agree it always hits you when you are not looking, all my past relationships have been like that. I'm going through a bad break up at the minute but I haven't given up that I will find love again. I'm working on me and when I'm ready I will be open to that possibility again. Just leave yourself open don't give up. Edited October 25, 2016 by Kelley 1
l8estnews Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 For me, romantic love is something that I have learned to let go. I am just 26 though, and never had a relationship at all. But due to unrequited love, broken family, infidelities around me, I learned that the pain that love can cost me is not worth the experience of "love" at all. I mean, why do people say that even if we get cheated on, replaced by someone better, younger, etc, the love was still worth it? Don't you think that the love we felt before the pain is nothing but a lie? If love is something fickle, relationships have expiration dates, then I have decided to forego the experience. I don't need to experience bliss just to feel betrayed in the end. "Aloneness" is different for loneliness. You can be alone without feeling lonely. That's the problem with our society nowadays. People just can't accept the idea that being alone can still make us happy! I have friends who has problems whenever they see me eating out in a restaurant alone, like I am weird or something. But being alone gave me the strength and knowledge that I can survive and live life without the relationship. I can never break my own heart, I can only make myself be empowered and fulfilled. I don't need the drama of a relationship. 1
ChickiePops Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 I'm so, so sorry for your pain... But... All I want to do right now is sing THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANYONE AROUUUUUND! What about friends? I don't speak to my family (my mom died when I was young and the rest of my family basically disappeared after that..lovely people!) but I have friends who I consider family.
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