Yesterday, we agreed to move in together, today I discover...

[BlueIris]

I hate to say I told you so, but...

 

Anyway, this is the reason that people were recommending you pack up his stuff at dump it as his place

No messing about and giving him a chance to lie his way out.

 

But kudos to you for not falling for his BS!!

 

It's not her problem that he forgot to take his stuff. He forgot it.

 

There's no tug of obligation. He's just another mammal on the planet now.

[Sunkissedpatio]

 

the ease with which he lied was astonishing

 

coincidentally, I came across this article around the time i discovered his deception

 

The More We Lie, The Easier It Gets, Says Study

 

 

 

The More We Lie, The Easier It Gets, Says Study

 

Actually, back in April after my split there was a doc on Netflix that talked about this exactly. It's interesting, you can look for if there if you want to see it might still be up. It's called (Dis)Honesty, Truth Behind Lies

[BDJ_1]

The guy is a flog. It is cold comfort, but at least you can console yourself with the fact you found out sooner rather than later. I hope you have better luck with the next one.

[Sunkissedpatio]

Also, there's this notion that if you shut the door no questions asked the healing begins. Couldn't be further from the truth. You are plagued with questions, you play the entire rel back in your head trying to make heads from tails and your mind plays tricks on you. It takes a while for the brain to catch up to the reality that it's over and having that confrontation helps to push that notion along.

 

Seeing him lie to the extent that he did helps to quash any hope. Going away quietly makes you second guess your decision when all the waffling starts to happen and you are searching for answers inside your own head. That's a dangerous place to be, because it's at that point you start to wonder "did I overreact?" And that's not your rational mind speaking it's the fight or flight response in the brain that wants to make the pain stop. That's dangerous.

[joseb]

It's not her problem that he forgot to take his stuff. He forgot it.

 

There's no tug of obligation. He's just another mammal on the planet now.

 

I didn't mean anything about his suff. She should not worry in the slightest.

 

What I meant was that way you avoid the drama and any chance he can lie his way out of it.

[pteromom]

He sounds horrible. Not only putting up the profile, but turning it back around on YOU when he's caught. Typical cheater!!

 

I am sorry you are hurt, but you are better off without him.

 

And for the future - 6 months is WAY too early to talk moving in. Next time, make it at least a year. 18 months is even better.

[Taramere]

[]

 

It's just a shame things didn't work. My condolences, Monicasans. When I saw that he'd used a photo from one of your dates together for his profile, I wanted to conjure him up out of mid air so that I could throttle him.

Edited October 26, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
threadjack ~6

[Satu]

If I were in the OP's position, I would erase him from my life to the degree that there would be no signs that he'd ever been in my life.

 

I did do this with someone; only once, with one person, with good reason.

 

I also made a pact with myself that I would never again speak or write his name.

 

I never have.

 

So he is a non-existent person with no name.

 

Non-existent people don't have names.

 

"ΑΠΟ ΠΑΝΤΟΣ ΚΑΚΟΔΑΙΜΟΝΟΣ!"

[Sometymeswhy]

This fool is especially stupid (or he thinks you are stupid) saying no to you when you asked him if he had an active profile then suggesting he knew it was you or a friend he was communicating with on a dating site. Geesh! He also knew he was being a jerk to the fake profile by canceling at the last minute with a lame excuse. A jerk to all women. Goodbye Felipe!

 

What photo did you use for your fake profile?

[kendahke]

he told me that he knew MFP was me or a friend of mine. he said his heart is broken too that I would trick him like that. and the only reason he was even on was to see if I would try and trick him!

 

give the man a prize. that's truly creative manipulation of cheating. he is not taking any position of apology or acknowledment that what he did was deceptive and wrong. he's blaming me for what happened and says HE cannot trust ME.

 

And now, his number is on block, his social media is all on block, right?

[Sunkissedpatio]

No - it's not a difficult concept. No need to make it something to worry about or second guess. He is a complete jerk and nothing can change that. Nothing to wonder about when he's been such a solid jerk.

 

It isn't now, after she sought the truth. That was my point.

[kendahke]

thanks

 

i fell really hard for him. I haven't been in love like this for many many years. and he told me that he felt the same. in one of his texts today he said: "you broke my heart too bc I really loved you"

 

That is manipulation.

 

If he really loved you, he wouldn't still be active on a dating site. He wouldn't be leaving the door cracked for someone else to walk in.

[kendahke]

oh dio here's his latest text (yes, I will block him...)

 

"Oh n what is the big crime that I just had a profile there, you are talking like I slept with a lot of girls"

 

 

He's been sleeping with a lot of girls.

 

 

The guilty make the most noise.

[kendahke]

oh, and here's one part I forgot, he bolted so fast he didn't take his stuff with him that I had already neatly packed in a bag for him.

 

i'm not sure how to get it to him now

 

Drop it off on his porch or building lobby, text him and tell him where it is. Put him on block and be done with him. Or give it to a mutual friend to give to him.

[Robert]

Note from moderation: this thread appears to be a magnet for members to post off-topic posts and hijack the thread. 25 posts have been deleted and a few edited. Please stick to the original topic.

 

Thank you,

~6

[wheream_i]

[]

 

He's still on the dating site fora reason. You don't make him happy. Let him go.

 

[]

Edited October 27, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
redacted off topic content ~6

[Lion Heart]

you are so right. i really wanted to see the good and 'honest' side of him. i'm not sure how I would've responded if he had copped up to it and begged forgiveness or asked for another try

 

at least the way he's denying any culpability is making it easier for me to go no contact

 

my stomach hurts

 

IF HE KNEW it was you or a friend of yours;

A) WHY was he on the OLD site anyways? With his PHOTO. Nah BS.

B) WHY didn't he buy a huge bunch of flowers with YOUR name all over the cards hanging off them and PRESENT them to you at the bar? He didn't do anything of the sort. BS...AND

C) WHY DID HE RUN??? lol chicken bs lol. A whole farm full of shyte obviously.

 

This "guy" is a piece of work.

 

He was planning to being a cake-eater.

 

Luckily you found out now!

 

Get a pre-nup before any "moving in" crap next time Monica.

 

Look up the Cheater's Handbook 101.

He's BLAME-SHIFTING.

 

Techniques ONLY known to cheaters.

 

Good riddance to him.

 

Lion Heart

[Lion Heart]

oh, and here's one part I forgot, he bolted so fast he didn't take his stuff with him that I had already neatly packed in a bag for him.

 

i'm not sure how to get it to him now

 

NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY Monica.

 

The ex cheater from this address has an old bucket next to the mail box for his MAIL. 50x telling him to get his mail redirected didn't work.

Bucket with rain water and his builder's mud in it.

Yay!

 

I put ANYTHING I FIND of his IMMEDIATELY on the road. Tools. Electrical tools. His underwear.

Then text him it's there.

Lol.

He's had MONTHS (indeed years if you count his 1st Affair) to CLEAR HIS GARBAGE OUTTA my house.

 

It's free to anyone who wants it.

I list it as part of Settlement lol.

 

Then he speed races to get it before someone else does.

 

:-))

Lion Heart