cant trust

[an0nym0us123]

ok so i met this woman about 6 weeks ago online, she lives about an hour away. we seemed to hit it off right away and have since seen each other a few times, to begin with we both sort of said that we'd just have fun rather than looking for "serious". anyway she's told me on several ocassions she likes me and ive said the same to her. however once the idea of just fun turns into the possibility of something longer term it brings me to a place i dont like.

 

all ive ever experienced from any woman is being used, used as backup untill someone else better comes along, told that i was a great guy even though they did not mean it at all, played along for a laugh.

 

i just dont know how i could ever trust anyone no matter how genuine they seem. cos all ive ever known is lies and hurt.

[spiderowl]

I would not assume you were being used. It is possible to really like someone and then to lose interest. It is possible to fall in love with someone and then to fall out of it. Behaviour, attitudes and just general incompatibility can rear its head and suddenly make things feel very different. People often feel very passionate about each other at first: the really telling time is do they still feel the same way two years later?

 

I know you can't just trust instantly, but maybe go cautiously and see how a relationship develops gradually rather than rushing into it in the hope it's going to be the one.

Edited October 24, 2016 by spiderowl

[an0nym0us123]

I would not assume you were being used. It is possible to really like someone and then to lose interest. It is possible to fall in love with someone and then to fall out of it. Behaviour, attitudes and just general incompatibility can rear its head and suddenly make things feel very different. People often feel very passionate about each other at first: the really telling time is do they still feel the same way two years later?

 

I know you can't just trust instantly, but maybe go cautiously and see how a relationship develops gradually rather than rushing into it in the hope it's going to be the one.

 

i am being very cautious in fact im trying to play down expectations in my head all the time, nothing ever works so no point thinking it ever will. however i can see that that attitude wont get you anywhere either. she does seem a bit different to some other women ive known over the years, but again it may be more fool me for reading the situation wrong.

[LastAcorn99]

I’m sorry you’ve been disappointed in your past relationships. I would suggest that you always start off with being friends. Take the time to observe the person for a while, find out their interests, and only then consider if your friendship can develop into something more. Hope this helps!

[Pete2304]

Show a bit of confidence in yourself when you are with her. Not arrogant, just hold your head up high safe in the knowledge that this woman seems to genuinely like you. Don't tell her all about being hurt in the past straight away just be yourself, you seem like a decent bloke.