Author IWasWrong Posted October 30, 2016 Author Posted October 30, 2016 I guess this debacle may have been all about envy. Here is this girl who ticks every box, she is beautiful, smart with a winning smile and a heart of gold. Everywhere she goes she gets attention. She has birthday parties thrown for her and the OP joins the ranks of her adoring fan club. He introduces her to his friends and they, both men and women are agog, they also join her adoring fan club. The OP wanted to show off his "outstanding" gf, but he got a bit lost in all of the adulation over her. Even his friend wants to date her and can't stop telling everyone how special SHE is.. The OP is no longer in control here, he was throwing this party to show what a wonderful man and bf he is and how lucky he is to have this great gf, but they are forgetting about HIM SHE is now the centre of attention and he is being essentially ignored, he is peeved and irritated. THEN the straw that broke the camel's back, she manages to tell a joke that has everyone laughing, but he sees it as a direct attack on him. Whilst she and HIS friends are laughing AT him, he cracks. Who the Hell does she really think she is? He thinks - these are HIS friends, not hers, she should not be making a joke at his expense - he is now livid. He loses it at HER, as SHE is actually the one who he is very, very angry with. How dare she be so popular, how dare she monopolise everything, how dare she outdo him, how dare she make a fool out of him... What can I say, except that this is fairly accurate. Unfortunately. It has been a long week. However, I have gotten to know myself more within this week than I have in my whole life, really A lot has been taken in from this thread. 2
Author IWasWrong Posted October 30, 2016 Author Posted October 30, 2016 My word. I came across this because of your comment on another thread about dating an attractive woman. I'm totally gobsmacked that you said that to her. She must have wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. I cant believe it. The person who disrespected you was your friend. He said he'd date her or would like a chance if he was single. No regard for the fact that you were dating her. Didn't your friends tell you there and then you were out of line? If I was one of your friends I'd also back away from you thinking you're mentally unstable. Wow. Just wow! The one decent thing you did was apologise. I'd be suprised if she hasn't blocked your number. If she's never dated a white guy before, this could well be the last time she does. Yes my friends told me I was out of line and called me every name in the book. They are starting to come back around. They have seen my struggle and remorse in person so they realize I know how much of a jacka$$ I was. As far as her banning white guys, idk. She doesn't seem like the type to take one ignorant person out on an entire group of people. In fact, I KNOW she wouldn't. Her last bf was white but from another country and a pro athlete, which also made me a little insecure I guess. So yea...I have to work on me. Lesson Learned.
ChickiePops Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 How are you going to work on yourself? What steps will you take?
sandylee1 Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 I was trying to think of anything I'd heard of that came anywhere close to this on a date. My mind drew a blank. ... until I remembered a friend/roommate who went on a date many years ago. Instead of the guy ensuring she got home safely, like a gentleman (the time was gone midnight), he asked her what night bus (central London) she was getting home. She'd never taken a nightbus in her life and hadn't lived in London that long. She told him that she didn't know and thought they'd be getting a cab and wasn't expecting to bus it home with her high heels etc. He proceeded to tell her that he'd dated supermodels before and they had no problem getting the nightbus, so who did she think she was. My poor friend was left standing there alone as he walked off to get his bus. A man passing by saw her in distress as she was crying and after she told him what happened, he got her home safely. That was the first and last date with this guy. Speaking to mutual friends afterwards, he didn't think he'd done anything wrong. So she certainly didn't get an apology.
Author IWasWrong Posted October 30, 2016 Author Posted October 30, 2016 How are you going to work on yourself? What steps will you take? Well I made an appointment with my psychiatrist as I am on anxiety meds. If she thinks I need to see a therapist I will go do that. I am going to start going to the gym daily again bc that worked wonders for my mood. I feel like I made significant progress admitting I was an a$$ and admitting that it came from anxiety/insecurities. Ironically, I admitted it to a bunch of strangers online haha If anyone has any other ideas, I'm open to hear. I just don't want to lose another good catch or friends for that matter bc I let anxiety get the best of me. Anxiety is real.
lakerman34 Posted October 30, 2016 Posted October 30, 2016 She told you that you didn't have to do all that, taking her to an expensive, fancy restaurant because she prefers simple and you got SUPER DEFENSIVE? Dude, if a girl said that to me and then hugged/kissed me right after, I'd buy the engagement ring the next day. Fact is, you blew it, man. I think you need to be single, go into meditation or something. Need to calm your mind down. You can send her flowers, apologizing, not expecting anything in return. You hurt this poor girl who sounds like she really cared for you. I would send her flowers b/c she's worth more than the way you treated her. Then, I wouldn't say a word to her. OR you can just move on, realize you made a mistake, and learn from it. I would feel horrible in your shoes though, man.
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