catchthedrift Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 I have been dating this guy for a month now. We have had 9 dates. We recently decided to get away for a weekend and booked a spontaneous trip to an island that's a few hours north. We are leaving the first November weekend for two nights, got an Airbnb booked and all. He recently got a lot of stuff going on at work and has not been texting me like usual. He can't text during the day, but even though he stayed over this weekend, I have not heard from him at all today. Not even before work or during lunch. This I find very confusing, as we have texted every day for the past month. This is his last trial week at his new job, so he seems super focused on that. I want to give him the needed space but don't want to disappear completely. I guess I just need this daily contact in order to know we are moving forward. In this phase of dating, where there is no real exclusivity established and where you are not safe enough knowing that person will stick with you at least for a while, I wonder... what is it I could do to keep him interested over the next week until we go to our trip? We live an hour apart and won't see each other for the coming 10 days. I don't want to come across as needy, and I am a TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE texter. I know, I know, I am probably completely overthinking. I just don't want to scare him away with needy sounding texts, and also want to respect the fact he has his busiest week at work yet, all the while keeping him interested and having him look forward to our weekend trip. Any tips?
Toodaloo Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 Instead of constant texting (which is really damned annoying when you are trying to work) why not a quick five minute phone call in the morning and evenings?
Author catchthedrift Posted October 24, 2016 Author Posted October 24, 2016 Instead of constant texting (which is really damned annoying when you are trying to work) why not a quick five minute phone call in the morning and evenings? How do I initiate this? If he had a long day at work, seems like he is not into calling or texting at all
fred123 Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 Isnt that intense already booking a holiday? Im sure people on here would tell me it is if i did that after a month. In fact the girl i was dating would run a mile and think it was too much from me
leogirl876 Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 Isnt that intense already booking a holiday? Im sure people on here would tell me it is if i did that after a month. In fact the girl i was dating would run a mile and think it was too much from me Not me. If I'd gone on 9 dates with a guy in a month then it's safe to say I'm really feeling him. So I'd probably be down for a get away.
Author catchthedrift Posted October 25, 2016 Author Posted October 25, 2016 Isnt that intense already booking a holiday? Im sure people on here would tell me it is if i did that after a month. In fact the girl i was dating would run a mile and think it was too much from me It was a mutual idea, and it is only a 2 night trip about 3 hours away from where we live.
elaine567 Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 Before you go on the trip and get yourself more deeply attached, I suggest you bring up exclusivity. He may be dating other women and that is why he is "busy". Exclusivity doesn't mean he has to die in your arms, it just means he is not also dating/sleeping with other women. If he is not keen on exclusivity, then you need to get rid, if you are looking for something serious, or you just accept he is seeing and probably sleeping with other women too.
Author catchthedrift Posted October 26, 2016 Author Posted October 26, 2016 Before you go on the trip and get yourself more deeply attached, I suggest you bring up exclusivity. He may be dating other women and that is why he is "busy". Exclusivity doesn't mean he has to die in your arms, it just means he is not also dating/sleeping with other women. If he is not keen on exclusivity, then you need to get rid, if you are looking for something serious, or you just accept he is seeing and probably sleeping with other women too. He has not logged on to the dating site we met on for about 2,5 weeks now. He said he is not seeing anyone else but did not ask me if I was. He really has a lot of work going on, it seems, he is in bed at 9pm every night and wakes up at like 5.30 for work, so I think he may actually be really busy. I think I believe him.
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