Ranger21 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 So there's this girl that I have known for a few years through friends in my hometown. I just moved back to my hometown a few months ago and my buddies told her I had a crush on her when I used to visit. Asked her out a few months ago, she said we would be better off just friends and declined. Thought nothing of it and dated other girls. Well a little over a month ago my buddy told me she would be open to going out with me. We all met up with a large group for a day drinking event, and eventually me and her got to talking, dancing, drinking, wound up at her place and did the deed. We were both completely black out drunk and neither of us remembered much about "doing it" but knew it happened. Regardless, I texted her I had fun with her and would love to see her again. A week ago I manned up and asked her out to dinner which she agreed. Had an amazing dinner date, conversation flowed and I felt a connection, got a couple drinks after, decided to call it a night, asked her if she wanted me to come back with her but she said not tonight. I respected that, and we made out until her taxi came. She texted me 30 min later thanking me and that she had a great time. This past Saturday, we went to a party with a group of friends, had drinks, danced, made out on the dance floor, asked me if I wanted to go home with her. I did, but when we were in bed making out I could tell she was pushing back from it going further than that. Reason I'm confused is it went from her saying we should just be friends, to black out sex, to a first date and a kind of a second date no sex. Is she wanting to take it slow because she likes me or because she is unsure of her interest? She know's I really like her because I told her friend. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Sleeping with you that first night was because of the alcohol, not because she was into it. If she was sober it would have never happened. You need to back off on the sex for awhile and just go out on dates. She's not ready for sex yet....sober sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Agree with above statement ^ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kmack513 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Lucky you got a 2nd date. Often after a drunk first date sex thing, girls tend to hide some. Tone it back with the drinking. She seems to like you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ranger21 Posted October 24, 2016 Author Share Posted October 24, 2016 I have absolutely no problem holding off on sex until she's comfortable because I genuinely am getting strong feelings for her. I might be reading too much into it because it was her idea I come back with her the other night. The only reason I knew she didn't wanna go all the way was a wondering hand got held. No biggie, didnt press the issue, kissed, cuddled, slept. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Ignore that the drunk sex ever happened and date her as though it didn't. When she feels comfortable she will let you know. She is into you. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Stop staying over at her place unless sex IS on the table....or it will turn into a cuddle b%^$# situation. Staying over doing the cuddle thing can ruin it for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ranger21 Posted October 24, 2016 Author Share Posted October 24, 2016 How could staying over ruin it? I thought her asking me to come back with her was a great sign. She was just super tired and passed out. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 You don't want to fill in the space on her bed because she is lonely and needs a warm body next to her like a security blanket.....a BF without benefits. You want to increase desire? don't be so available. But hey if you want to you want to, nothing stoppin ya Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ranger21 Posted October 24, 2016 Author Share Posted October 24, 2016 Definitely trying to avoid that situation like the plague, but also too old and tired to play games. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 How could staying over ruin it? I thought her asking me to come back with her was a great sign. She was just super tired and passed out. No, it's a slippery slope. She might get into the habit of having you there and associate it with a bit of comfort, rather than anything sexual. Sleeping together and not having sex is for marriages and long term relationships, not early dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ranger21 Posted October 24, 2016 Author Share Posted October 24, 2016 No, it's a slippery slope. She might get into the habit of having you there and associate it with a bit of comfort, rather than anything sexual. Sleeping together and not having sex is for marriages and long term relationships, not early dates. Agreed. How do I not get into that zone other than by acting like an ******* which always tended to work to get girls into bed but backfires when it came to getting something more. Cuz this time, I actually want something more. Link to post Share on other sites
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