Mr.mistake Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 So as the title says 6 months and im still not over her Ive been looking through these threads for awhile and i think i just need to let it out. Her life is going great with her and her new lover. Ive been doing good. Gained about 20lbs hitting the gym and great opportunities ahead of me career wise. Havnt been dating but sleeping with alot of girls lately. I just want to text my ex sometime and tell her i still love her and miss her but i know it wouldnt help. I just feel stuck emotionally. Any suggetions? 2
95fx1 Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 I'm right there with you man... Going on 6 months post breakup, although I haven't been dating I am stuck in what feels like "limbo". I want her back but I don't, I want her to confess about how big of a mistake she made so I can slam the door in her face like she did to me..... We have to little girls together so that adds even more confusion.... One a day at a time brother. 1
Logo Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 Put together a bucket list of fun and exciting things you want to do. Pick up a new hobby. I've been wanting to go sky diving. I might try it soon. 1
Toodaloo Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 I know it feels like forever but grief takes time. No one ever can put a limit on it. I had my horse put down last December and I still haven't cried about it... I know at some point it will come but who knows when... I have had relationships that took me under 5 minutes to get over and short term flings that took years to get over. Don't push yourself. Just stick to no contact. Stick to keeping yourself fit and healthy. Stick to concentrating on your life and what you want from it. Eventually you will suddenly realise that you haven't thought about her for a while and that now you are you don't actually give a damn anyway. You will shrug your shoulders to yourself and carry on. You can't "push" for that moment though. It just takes time. 3
mssgq7 Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 Look I'm an advocate for a few things. 1. NC - you HAVE to understand NC works depending on the situation. Not all outcomes are the results of the same behaviors, and not all results from behavior have the same outcome. If that makes sense. In another words, if she was devious or you over pursued (8 out of 10 times the case) YOU SHOULD NOT CONTACT HER. If you cheated or treated her badly you are not winning her back by silence. BUT in your scenario she already moved onto a new guy. YOU HAVE TO LET HER GO. I'm sorry dude, it sucks for all of us. I just went through this. Three women I was crazy about. One in a 3 year relationships, the others a few months. Guess what YOU WILL ALWAYS meet someone that makes you forget about the last. It just sometimes happens in a month and other times a year. So sit tight and do everything to stay sane 2. Write texts, letters, anything you want to her but don't send it. But at some point, until you stop creating threads, talking to others about it, you will never stop giving it life. Hence in another 6 months you'll keep resurrecting it and be stuck. It's normal to think or dream about it but at some point you gotta let it go. 3. You're doing great, cut yourself some slack. F her. You have improved your life and carried on (or at least trying to). You're doing your best. You gotta be happy about that. In addition understand women like this PURPOSEFULLY come into your life. The universe will put these people in your life to bring our insecurities and weaknesses so you can fix them or address them. See that for what it is. Cut your losses and chalk it up to experience. I know it's difficult. Be aware some women due to trauma bonding and other things will always be on your mind when you are single or dating someone lesser. Once you are fulfilled again meaning you feel someone equal or better has come along you will no longer think of them. TRUST ME. 2
cucumber95 Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 You can't get over her because you don't want to... Her life should not be bussiness, you should not even know about that she has new lover, don't think how she is doing, and go NC as suggested above. Good luck, it is hard but you need to do it for yourself. 1
Marc878 Posted October 24, 2016 Posted October 24, 2016 It sounds like you're watching her social media or keeping up or tabs on her. This will keep you in limbo. Block everything and go dark unless you want to waste more time. The absolute worse thing you can do is text or write the infamous "letter" pouring out your heart, etc. I'm not sure why after someone gets dumped they feel like if they just write a letter magic happens. It doesn't. It just makes one look weak and needy. 3
Author Mr.mistake Posted October 25, 2016 Author Posted October 25, 2016 what all of you guys have said made me feel alot better about myself. i blocked her on all social media and eveything, the only reason i know about her is because her friends also works with me and you know... they tell me things as i already told them i dont want to hear about it hahaha. i believe i cant let go easily because i bought her a ring and had plans for the future with her. basically the only real relationship i ever had. i didnt let the BU effect my work. it never took me down. it made me better physically and i acually work harder then before, keeps my mind off her. i just feel all dead inside. thanks for listening guys
Toodaloo Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 what all of you guys have said made me feel alot better about myself. Good. Now take that positive and hang on to it. i blocked her on all social media and eveything, the only reason i know about her is because her friends also works with me and you know... they tell me things as i already told them i dont want to hear about it hahaha. Tell them that she is now called Voldermort. She who must not be named. When they start just cut them off and tell them you don't want to hear it. Get tough and say no! i believe i cant let go easily because i bought her a ring and had plans for the future with her. basically the only real relationship i ever had. So its hope you are clinging to. Well return that ring for a start. Get your money back on that. First relationships rarely work out. The great news is that there is a whole world out there full of utterly gorgeous single women looking for a decent guy to cherish. The hope for the future is still there. You don't need to let that go. You just need to move on and find someone else that has the same hope and the same feelings for you! i didnt let the BU effect my work. it never took me down. it made me better physically and i acually work harder then before, keeps my mind off her. i just feel all dead inside. You feel dead and numb because you are still healing. Its perfectly OK to feel like this and once you accept it as part of the process of healing you will find its easier to deal with. Days will start to look brighter because you know eventually this will come to and end but it just takes time. thanks for listening guys You are welcome! Keep talking if it makes you feel better! You are doing well. Have a bit of faith in yourself. 2
jstar845 Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 I know breakups can be difficult. I can tell you cared for her. It’s understandable with the amount of time that has been invested into this relationship and knowing what she means to you. This can take some time to heal. It also seems you have a lot going for you. I commend your career accomplishments. Self-care is important and you have taken care of this with going to the gym. Best Wishes!
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