Relationships with psychologists

[blue16]

I've been taking a few courses of psychology at school, and I find it pretty interesting. Of course...psychology is very important in interpersonal relationships - which is one of the main ideas at loveshack.org. Out of all the subjects, I would say I find psychology the most interesting. It is a fairly popular class at my school, but most people just take a couple courses here and there and that's usually it. I don't really care if there aren't many good jobs available for this particular field...I know I can do fine if I put my mind to it. Anyways...I'm considering making psychology my main degree...but there are a few things holding me back.

 

My biggest concern lies outside of work. I sort of get the impression that people might be 'scared' of psychologists, because they think they can read their mind and such. I really enjoy psychology and find it interesting, but I don't want to get a negative reputation as being a psychologist. Maybe it's all the TV hype I see, but a lot of psychologists seem kind of wierd...and women are always very cautious in dating male psychologists. Now whether or not it is actually true or not in the real world...that is the impression I get and I'm sure a lot of others would as well. I just seem to think that a girl would be very hesitant to date a psychologist, for some irrational (or rational) fear. Are my concerns justified?

[Kat]

Originally posted by blue16

My biggest concern lies outside of work. I sort of get the impression that people might be 'scared' of psychologists,

Yup "Don't be analysing me or nothing" is a very common comment. I studied social work and while I didn't even get into any social work subjects, Idid a few psyc subjects and people were afraid to talk to me.

[Zaira]

A job is a job, although if you start analysing your friends/family/partner when not wanted, I think you're going over the top

[Kat]

Originally posted by ~Zaira~

A job is a job, although if you start analysing your friends/family/partner when not wanted, I think you're going over the top

I found the problems was that i didn't, but people just assumed i did.

[Zaira]

Originally posted by Kat

I found the problems was that i didn't, but people just assumed i did.

 

Oh geez. You can't win in that situation

[blue16]

Originally posted by Kat

I found the problems was that i didn't, but people just assumed i did.

 

That's exactly what I was trying to get at. I MYSELF have no problem with being a psychologist, I'm not gonna go around analyzing everyone but I do get the impression OTHER people will just automatically think that. Kinda sux...

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

I just got out of a relationship with a psychologist. I didn't think he was analyzing me. His problem was that he had so many of his own issues...fears of intimacy...narcissism...addictive personality. Although he's been seeing his own shrink for a number of years, he refuses to actually admit that he has these issues which impair his relationships...he won't work on his own shyt....instead, he blames others. He mainly projected his own issues on to other people, including myself. The poor slob needed a shrink more than his own patients.

[lindya]

You sound a pretty down to earth sort of guy, so I'd imagine you'll be fine. The psychology students who create pain in other people's arses are the ones who think they have an exclusive insight into - and understanding of - human nature. The smarter psychologists who truly do "get it" tend to relate to others in a perfectly natural and unpatronising way. I think you'll be one of them.

[guest]

psychologists are seen by me as being a paid friend or professional hand-holder and i personnally do not put much credence in them. i guess that in the Tom Cruise-brook Shields deal---I am more in Tom's court. A lot of it is pseudo-science--they seem to identify a lot of problems, but really do nothing to help someone solve them. In the end, it s the person themselves that have to deal with their own issues----these guy merely take some weight off by lightening your wallet. All of this pill pushing they are doing is merely their way to lend some sort of legitimacy to their craft, as well as dig into that fat cow of medical insurance and medicare. Just look at what the "therapist" are doing to kids now---all this Ridlin crap---the solution is in the pill. it used to be that a kid who was hyper and inattentive was.......welll.....just a kid!!!!!

 

Also many of them that i have come across seem to be the ones that need their own help. doctor , heal thyself comes to mind. jen___jen knows what i mean. i know a lot of people on this site go to a therapist and/or counselor and feels it is helping them. maybe it is--i dont know. I just have other outlets and friends to communicate with that have a lot of common sense, and their advice is always appreciated and sincere. there's probably not a lot you could do with a shrink that you couldnt do here on this forum. its just that its so cliche to pawn someone's problems off to the term "you need to see a coounselor, or get counseling", as if that is some panecea and they have all the answers because of a few courses and a piece of paper. you only wind up with Jen__jens ex.

 

You just have to decide if you want to be associated with this profession, so you have to look into it further and think about having to hang around with people like dr. phil all day. they are also on the low end of the totem pole as far as starting salaries are concerned for college degrees.

[lindya]

there's probably not a lot you could do with a shrink that you couldnt do here on this forum.

 

People with some very complex problems come to these boards. I've seen certain posters give extremely insightful advice that indicates they probably have a strong personal interest in people and in counselling theory. Sometimes the poster will ask those members for more and more. Wanting - needing - other people to get deeper, deeper and deeper into the complexities of the problem that's causing them so much stress.

 

How much do you ask of a stranger when they're giving you their time for free? Why is it a cliche for someone who's being asked "tell me some more, help me some more" to call a halt and say "go and see a therapist."

 

The point of a therapist is that you are (or someone is) paying that person to devote time, knowledge and wisdom to helping you address a specific problem. If you get a bad therapist, then for goodness sake report him or her. There are far too many out there plying their trade. Go on personal recommendation. There are some extremely good counsellors out there, and they are as entitled as anyone else to be paid for the amount of time they spend on others during working hours.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken

The poor slob needed a shrink more than his own patients.

 

This is the case a lot of times. psychologists are people to and have problems just like we do.

 

I think that when I meet a psychologist that he/she has catorgized me into one of the many personality trait disorders.

 

I do believe that they can't shut if off.. They may not tell you but they are doing it

[d'Arthez]

A Fly onThe Wall:

 

Suffering from a bit of paranoia? Or a related affliction?

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by d'Arthez

Suffering from a bit of paranoia? Or a related affliction?

 

 

[guest]

lindya--- i never said not to pay them for their time. thats what everybody gets paid for when they work is their time. the question is whether there "time" is worth the price they charge. you indeed have a lot of people who come on this forum and get advice, and a lot is given. some do want more and more, and go deeper and deeper after having received advice, and after awhile it becomes the equivalent of beating a dead horse.

 

Either they dont like the advice they are getting and want more, or want something different that coincides with their way of thinking or how they want to see themselves. not many people like to hold the mirror up to themselves and really see how they are and how others may view them and their actions. you seem to think that these counselors have all the answers, and experiences in life to deal with somebodys elses problems. if i was a rape victim, i think i would like to talk to other rape victims to see how they deal with it, instead of some paper hanger in a cheap office that took some classes somewhere. what the hell can they know about being raped, and what can they do to make it better?

 

what do they really do besides come up with acronyms to describe a certain behavior, and push some pills?? they can talk all they want, but if this crap worked, let them diagnose the child molester, figure out all his childhood trauma and neglects, yada yada yada, prescribe some pills, talk to him for several years, and then let him babysit their kids. Probably why most therapists have unlisted phone numbers so these people cant get up with them in private. look it up.

 

you say, "report a bad therapist".....well how the hell does the average therapist seeker know what is good or bad in so subjective an area as their own mind? with a dr. or lawyer, the diagnosis and the opinion are more objective in nature---its either right or wrong, and the treatments or actions given have a decernable result.......you have open heart, you are either breathing or your dead. you go to a shyster for a land deal, the deed is recorded or its not. you go to a shrink, he tells you something you dont like, you can go to another and get another somewhat subjective diagnosis and treatment session. whether is be shapiro's "thinking of something traumatic and then tapping on a table until it goes away"....EMDR or some such acronym they have come up with, or exposure or something else. what a great treatment--you could also think of something traumatic and i could hammer a nail into your foot and make you forget it too. throw in a few mind altering anti-depressants and then the "patient" wont even know if they are ok because they are not in their normal undrugged mode to figure it out. seems like an endless cycle, and no one knows where it ends, except of course the therapist, and that time is when the insurance money runs out.

 

in the end, it only you who has to deal with these problems. maybe all a therapist is good for is to be a conduit for that person to have to face these issues and get motivated to do somehting about it. like getting a gym membership instead of saving a lot of money and get some equipment and working out at home. the former may make you want to go because you have money invested and have to justify it, and the latter requires self motivation and discipline. People say its chemical imbalances and such, but show me one test that can determine seratonin levels in order to prescribe a correct doseage of ridlin for a child. its all guesswork with no scientific basis---promoted by a PC society thats swallowing all this psychobabble pablum.

 

i think blue16 is having doubts if he wants to be associated with this profession, and how it is viewed in the eyes of society. thats again is only something he can figure out for himself, after getting various viewpoints. I am sure that most people who talk to a therapist on either a professional or private basis think they are being analyzed or categorized by them. That would be natural. a barber critiques your haircut, a clothier critiques your dress, a plastic surgeaon critiques your face. just MHO, and i am not one of these scientologists!!!

[mental_traveller]

I think you should stop worrying. Do women worry about dating racing drivers because they might crash at 150mph on the way to work? Most people separate work from leisure time, and although you might get a few unoriginal comments at parties, IMO it's not an issue unless you make it one.