Anyone have any ideas?

[petitepretzel]

Hi friends! I became friends with a guy about a year ago when he started a program at my university and from the very start he was very interested in me. He saw me at a very low point - I was black out wasted at a Halloween party and he actually helped carry me out of the house. That night he sent me a FB message saying I was beautiful and that he wanted to hang out more, though he said he thought I was totally out of his league. At that time I didn't really have feelings for him, but he was a friend and I thought I'd give it a chance so we had coffee, super chill. It was fun but it takes me a while to get comfortable with someone, so I prefer to get to know them well as friends before pursuing a romantic relationship. We took it slower, getting to know each other as friends without the pressure of dating, and he always made it clear that he was interested in me. In March I told him we should go out again sometime and he jumped on the opportunity to organize a date with me. We had our first date in April, which was a lot of fun, we were both nervous and awkward lol. I graduated from college the first of May and went on a three week trip to Europe. He had said before leaving the first date that we should have another date when I got back from the trip, I enthusiastically agreed.

 

Fast forward three and a half weeks, I returned from the trip. We had spoken some while I was gone but I was busy absorbing culture and just enjoyed the time. I texted him when I got back saying I was excited to see him again, and that we should hang out soon. I never got a response. This should've been a big red flag to me, but I had remembered that he had said he'd be really busy during the summer so I cut him some slack. I saw him a few days later at an open mic night with some of our other friends. He couldn't take his eyes off of me, and we sat beside each other flirting, rubbing our legs together, everything seemed fine. We hung out at a recital a few days later and he showed me around his part of town. Everything seemed normal. We talked about meeting up again.

 

I didn't hear from him for a few days (I had begun a new summer job and was busy with training and he was busy, as well, so I just continued living my life without worrying too much about a guy haha) but I went and saw him play with a band. When I got there he looked super uncomfortable, and the entire evening he was actively trying not to look me in the face. I caught him a few times, but he always looked a little pained and looked away, eventually refusing to look my direction at all. It completely threw me for a loop. I hadn't done anything wrong, so I had no idea what to think. I saw him again the next day and he did the exact same thing, acting very cool and very different from his usual nervous smiling self when I was around. I didn't have the guts to call him out on his behavior in front of all of our friends, so I sent him a message later asking if we could meet up and talk. He sent me back a message saying that I had every right to be confused and that he felt he was too busy to pursue any kind of serious relationship. He did offer the reasons why he was busy - and I know they're not bull - but in the back of my mind I just thought "for whatever reason he's just not interested in me anymore." Okay. I'm a big girl, I can move forward. It just made absolutely no sense that he would go from pursuing me one day to completely dumping me the next.

 

We didn't speak the rest of the summer, he didn't invite me to any of his shows on FB during the summer, I went on a vacation to Florida during my birthday, and worked a lot to give myself something to do. I was also preparing to leave for graduate school (I left the country in September). I saw him when I returned to campus to say good bye to friends and tie some loose ends. When he saw me the first time, he turned and went into another room with his head hung, again refusing to look at me. Mind you, this is a confident guy. Turning into a quiet shy guy was not his usual demeanor. I went to a bar with some mutual friends and he showed up that evening to hang out with us, and again he would refuse to look at me. He just seemed extremely uncomfortable, which made me wonder why he came anyway if he knew I'd be there? I saw him in passing again once more and while he waved hello, he again couldn't look me in the eye.

 

I left for graduate school feeling very confused about why he was acting so strangely. It wasn't hostile, he didn't seem angry, but it was very abnormal behavior. After a few weeks, at the first of October, I noticed that he'd unfriended me on FB. I tried not to think too much of it, but it stung a bit. We hadn't been that serious, but we can't even be friends on FB? Does he hate me that much?

 

I am not asking for tips on how to get back together, that's not practical. I am hoping that somebody may give me an idea of what he might have been thinking. Do guys really lose interest in someone so quickly like that, over seemingly nothing? I've asked friends if he's seeing somebody else and he has made it clear to them that he isn't, and wasn't while we were dating and didn't over the summer. I don't know what to think. I've moved on from the whole relationship ending, but not understanding WHY he behaved as he did, especially in September and with the unfriending, just irks me a bit. What would cause a guy to pull out the rug so quickly and then act so strangely around me?

 

TL;DR - please just read it lolol

[Fishfingersareyummy]

I have done this in the past when I lost interest in a girl and she didn't get the hint. I was too much of a coward to be open about how I felt, so I would do things to try and get her to get the message and leave me alone and if that didn't work then I would do things like deleting her off Facebook.

[petitepretzel]

That I can understand. But is it really necessary to delete me after already telling me how he felt, and I moved on without bothering him? I had respected his wishes, and didn't pester or bother him. I got the hint. So why delete me after almost four months?

[Fishfingersareyummy]

If he's not going to contact you again and if he wants nothing to do with you then why would he keep you on social media? When I had a Facebook account I used to delete people I no longer spoke to or had nothing to do with.