This makes me really want to find someone and settle down

[Springsummer]

A male friend who I used to think probably like me (I could be wrong) in the past is getting married.

 

I feel so lonely and miserable. I really want to find someone, but feel powerless. and this guy I used to fancy about, I feel I can not even try to do something, because his is 8 years younger than me. I think he is very lonely at the moment too, coz he is constantly at FB, but at the rate of adding a couple of female every week, I think that won't be long his situation changed.

 

feel so doomed and miserable.

Edited October 23, 2016 by Springsummer

[sooshi]

Feeling so lonely, miserable, doomed, desperate, and powerless is definitely not a good time to find someone and settle down. It will inevitably fail.

 

Work on cultivating a loving relationship with yourself, and don't worry about some guy from your past is doing and focusing on how he might be feeling.

 

Would you want to be with someone who felt so lonely, miserable, powerless, desperate, and doomed?

 

Focus on you. Spend time outside, call a friend, get into journaling, do some exercise, do affirmations, treat yourself to a nice meal. Drink plenty of water, have a regular sleep routine, take time every day to be grateful for what you have.

[Popsicle]

A male friend who I used to think probably like me (I could be wrong) in the past is getting married.

 

Maybe this will happen to you too, but let it happen naturally.

[Springsummer]

Feeling so lonely, miserable, doomed, desperate, and powerless is definitely not a good time to find someone and settle down. It will inevitably fail.

 

Work on cultivating a loving relationship with yourself, and don't worry about some guy from your past is doing and focusing on how he might be feeling.

 

Would you want to be with someone who felt so lonely, miserable, powerless, desperate, and doomed?

 

Focus on you. Spend time outside, call a friend, get into journaling, do some exercise, do affirmations, treat yourself to a nice meal. Drink plenty of water, have a regular sleep routine, take time every day to be grateful for what you have.

 

I have never really felt for the male friend, even though many girls think he is hot, so I am fine with his news per se.

 

This another guy, deep down, I still afraid he will find someone soon. but he is so much younger, even though I look young, just feel embarrassing and inappropriate for me to even try to do anything to get his attention. It sucks!

[Springsummer]

Maybe this will happen to you too, but let it happen naturally.

 

I have waited for centuries already. Nothing ever happens to me. Makes me feel useless and unlucky.

[sooshi]

This another guy, deep down, I still afraid he will find someone soon. but he is so much younger, even though I look young, just feel embarrassing and inappropriate for me to even try to do anything to get his attention. It sucks!

It sucks, yes, because you're not focusing on you. You need his attention to feel loved and good about yourself. It's a conditional love state of being.

 

"If I get his attention, I will feel better about myself.

If I don't get his attention, then I won't feel good about myself."

 

"If I can get attention from him, and in the way that I want, then I will feel better about myself.

If I can get attention from him, but not in the way that I want, then I won't feel good about myself."

 

That's a miserable way to live.

 

Focus on loving yourself unconditionally instead.

[Redhead14]

A male friend who I used to think probably like me (I could be wrong) in the past is getting married.

 

I feel so lonely and miserable. I really want to find someone, but feel powerless. and this guy I used to fancy about, I feel I can not even try to do something, because his is 8 years younger than me. I think he is very lonely at the moment too, coz he is constantly at FB, but at the rate of adding a couple of female every week, I think that won't be long his situation changed.

 

feel so doomed and miserable.

 

Well, all I can say is . . . I would not tolerate emotional abuse from another person and I will not tolerate it from myself . . . stop all the negative self-talk. Get out of your head and into your life . . .

[Popsicle]

I have waited for centuries already.

 

Centuries? Oh man, you must really old.

[sooshi]

I agree with Redhead. Negative self-talk will do you no good.

 

Read more of Redhead's posts, OP. Her words are very empowering.

Edited October 23, 2016 by sooshi

[Springsummer]

Focus on loving yourself unconditionally instead.

Well, all I can say is . . . I would not tolerate emotional abuse from another person and I will not tolerate it from myself . . . stop all the negative self-talk. Get out of your head and into your life . . .

 

Thank you very much people!

 

I know these are what I need, guess I need to read them every time I sink back to being negative.

 

But.............they are very hard to do! I have a real hard time loving myself. It's hard to convince myself I am lovable. It's also very hard not to pay attention to someone I am obsessed with.

 

I know you are right, but just very hard to do.

[Redhead14]

Thank you very much people!

 

I know these are what I need, guess I need to read them every time I sink back to being negative.

 

But.............they are very hard to do! I have a real hard time loving myself. It's hard to convince myself I am lovable. It's also very hard not to pay attention to someone I am obsessed with.

 

I know you are right, but just very hard to do.

 

It comes down to being RESOLVED. Inner strength and acceptance that very few will/can accept you, just the way you are . . . the only one that matters -- IS YOU.

[Els]

Is the 8-years-younger guy the same guy who's getting married? If not, is he legally underage?

 

If the answer to both are 'no', why not just make a move and close that chapter either way?

[Springsummer]

Is the 8-years-younger guy the same guy who's getting married? If not, is he legally underage?

 

If the answer to both are 'no', why not just make a move and close that chapter either way?

 

 

The one who is getting married is even younger than the 8-years-younger guy. but we were real friends and used to hang out for awhile with other friends, so we know each other.

 

they are both in their 30s. no, I will never make a move on a younger guy, that's too shameful to me. I have only saw this 8-years-younger a couple of time, but I thought he liked me and he is fascinating. but now seeing him constantly adding only and lots of women on his FB, I am not sure he is what I imagined at all.

 

Looks like I am going to be lonely forever and hopeless.

[Fishfingersareyummy]

 

Looks like I am going to be lonely forever and hopeless.

 

There's nothing wrong with being single.

[kmack513]

Have you thought about joining various clubs or groups for social interaction?

[Springsummer]

Have you thought about joining various clubs or groups for social interaction?

 

used to use meetup.com and internations.org. Hardly find anybody interesting though. but you are right, I should keep going and be more social. those 2 men are definitely very social. They were/are prospecting very heavily. unlikely me, who is very stubborn and single-minded.

 

I am not a strategist and planner. I was/am very wishful thinking and idealistic. right, characters and who we are definitely determine our fates.

Edited October 23, 2016 by Springsummer