Need some suggestions

[Keepingitreal]

My ex and I have been broken up for about three months. We were together for almost five months. I did the NC from the very beginning. Have recently sent him two texts. Three weeks apart. He responded to each one right away. The last text I sent was last week. It was a funny meme that represented something that happened during our r/s. He got a kick out of it. Started telling about this little "accident that happened to him. I cut the convo short. We see each other at church every Sunday. He almost always tried to talk to me or at the very least, say hello. I try to be cordial, and I never linger around to talk to him.

 

I found out today the "real" reason that doofus broke up with me. Here is a message he sent to someone regarding the reason:

 

"We were going at two different speeds, I think. She got attached a lot more quickly and wanted things to move ahead. I told her I needed to take things at a slower pace and so she gave me some space that I needed. But it never really picked up for me. I can't explain it other than it must have been a chemistry thing. I thought it might develop further but it never did.​"

 

I never pushed him into anything! He wanted to take things slow, I gave him the space. Idiot! He slowed our r/s down to the point where it stagnated!

 

He needs to know I wasn't looking into "moving things ahead"! He's so full of himself! I was just enjoying my myself with him. In the moment. I never really thought too much in terms of future or marriage. Never even hinted at it!! Been there done that! This chaps my hide! I have so much to lose financially to ever consider jumping into a long term relationship that would lead to marriage! If it were to happen, it would be a long time and it would have to be an extraordinary relationship.

 

My question to you all, how do I get him to understand that? Any suggestions on how to bring him down from his high horse?

 

Thanks!

[sooshi]

Focus on being happy, rather than being on being right. Notice how much you're suffering in trying to be right.

 

You say he's a doofus, that he's an idiot, he's so full of himself, and that's on his high horse. There's nothing for him to understand. You're wasting your time and energy in trying to make him wrong and you be right.

 

Block him and focus on moving on and being happy.

[mrs rubble]

You don't. You just keep on keeping your distance.

Who's message was it and how did you get hold of it? I'm guessing "a friend" thought you needed to know?

People speak rubbish about their ex's all the time to make themselves look better or to make themselves the victim in the situation.

 

My ex and his sister told friends that I had poisoned him with stolen chemicals and my son and I were both making up the assault charge that he was convicted for. One friend told me about the poisoning acusation, because she was so horrified over it and knew I'd never in a million years do something like that. My father was horrified when I told him and wanted me to sue him for slander. I refused, the people who know me, know the truth, and those who choose to believe lies were never my friend anyway.