Bluemug Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 Been a while since I visited - broke up with my ex five Months ago (best decision I've made in a while) and now I find myself in a very confusing situation. I've met someone really great through work- he is lovely (insert other gushy adjectives as you see fit). We've known each other for almost a year, work relatively close, pretty good friends. Prior to last night we'd hung out once before outside work, but over the last week or so he stepped up the texting and suggested "we meet up again as it's been a while". Great, always up for wine and chat. He checked in with me the day before to see if I wanted dinner too. Very nice,yes please. Now dear forum I'm confused. In my mind I was telling myself it's not a date. I can't Possibly be so lucky. But here's some stuff that's swayed me: 1 invitation to cinema tomorrow - can't go have plans 2. He stopped his best friend coming over, but didn't say I was there- just "had other plans", for the record I was totally up for another person arriving 3. Lots of touchy feely -never had that before. Touching my feet, touching a scar On my hip 4. Comparing me to an ex - we've talked about our love lives a million times Before, not new information but the comparison was 5. I said I should be going home (late) - he asked me to stay, in his bed (I suggested sofa) and told me he doesn't ask many girls to stay. I stayed the actual sleeping part - nothing happened. Except we both sleep in underwear and he once or twice pressed his knees into the back of mine. This Morning it was the most awkward thing in the world - I basically got tailed it out of there thinking "dammit I wasn't meant to fall for you". Was it a date? Am I just messed up?
leogirl876 Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 I'd say be very careful! If you're not sure if it's a date, AND he's asking you into his bed, sounds like a potential hook up to me. I'd say if you're not sure if it's a date, it's probably not. There's never been confusion in my mind when something's a date. If a man isn't clear on if it's a date, then he's either insecure about asking you out or it's not a date. Do not sleep with him until you know for sure!!!! 1
normal person Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 The problem with this guy is he wants to get the wheels moving and then make you decide what to make of it. Most guys would have the decency to be clear and upfront about it rather than pass the onus of decisiveness and vulnerability onto you. It's like he asks you to take a drive, he hits the gas and then jumps in the back seat and says "you drive!" My advice is to not let him play these games with you. Make him get to the point, or don't indulge him. Don't let him make you do all the hard work for him, it's not fair to you. 1
Author Bluemug Posted October 22, 2016 Author Posted October 22, 2016 Thanks both! Im definitely not sleeping with him anytime soon, it caught me so off guard I barely knew how to act anyway. My plan now is to be normal, as I was before. I'm not much of a flirt so in a way probably straight forward. Difficult situation as we do work closely, but alas I'll try to straighten it out.
joseb Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 Difficult situation as we do work closely, but alas I'll try to straighten it out. Keep work for work. There are enough ways to meet people nowadays without creating difficult situations for yourself in your career. 2
Author Bluemug Posted October 22, 2016 Author Posted October 22, 2016 Keep work for work. There are enough ways to meet people nowadays without creating difficult situations for yourself in your career. Very true! Just want to make sure I deal with it in the right way. A shame as he would have been someone I'd be very keen on. Ah well
Author Bluemug Posted October 28, 2016 Author Posted October 28, 2016 Made an error. He came over for dinner tonight. Shared too much about myself. He's gone home ️ Feel like such an idiot. Nothing at all that would compromise my job. Just an idiot.
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