schein Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 (edited) Sorry if this (Dating) is the wrong forum to be posting in, this is my first time here! I met a girl 3 and a half years ago. At the time we were both living in City A and were part of the same running club. We weren't especially close friends but we would talk every time we met (a few times a week) and it would be enjoyable. I never thought more of it then. A year and a half later I left for City B. She started texting me and we were messaging each other almost everyday. Six months after texting me she suddenly stopped. At the time I was interested in someone and she knew that; however as I now know, the girl I was messaging was interested in me and had been for a very long time, but she never told me until last week. Anyway, we started texting (and talking) again after 4-5 months at the same rate and volume as we were earlier and have been doing so until a few days ago. A few months ago, I started developing feelings for her. However, this time I knew she was interested in somebody else. In her words they "both like each other but aren't officially dating". So, I didn't tell her anything. Until last week. On telling her what I felt about her, she seemed a little taken aback but willing to go ahead, even making plans on how both of us can work out our lives to move to a City C so that we could be together. However, she soon realised that she's with somebody else and after taking a day to think about it, she decided that she did not want to hurt her current "boyfriend". Fair enough, I thought, because even though I was deeply disappointed, I didn't want to hurt anybody else. So, we resumed our normal talking. But a couple of days into that, she suddenly told me that she can't message or talk to me anymore, and she seemed very angry and she even said that she has no feelings for me at all (but she may have just said that because she was angry, I don't know). She didn't give any real explanation aside from calling me some names which I shan't reproduce here(!). What's going on? Sorry for the long post. Edited October 21, 2016 by schein facts were wrong
JewelD Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Have you actually been on a physical date with this girl? Seems odd that you'd be talking about moving to a city together without being in an actual relationship first. Sounds like she enjoys what she has going on and doesn't want to risk screwing it up by talking to you. 1
Author schein Posted October 22, 2016 Author Posted October 22, 2016 Have you actually been on a physical date with this girl? Seems odd that you'd be talking about moving to a city together without being in an actual relationship first. Sounds like she enjoys what she has going on and doesn't want to risk screwing it up by talking to you. No, we've only spent time together as friends. I haven't had a chance to go back since I left because of financial reasons. Both of us had the opportunity to move to the third city (job for me, grad school for her) so it wasn't like we would be moving solely for each other. It's an odd situation, I know.
JewelD Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 Your non-existent relationship shouldn't be a factor at all in moving to this city for either of you. But you haven't really dated yet so I can see why she'd be more interested in her boyfriend.
Ami1uwant Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 Why didnt you persue something with her when in city A??? how far apart are A nd B? if you havent actually dated then this isnt a relationship beyond friends. You may be her escape until something "real" comes along that she can date.
kmack513 Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 No, we've only spent time together as friends. I haven't had a chance to go back since I left because of financial reasons. Both of us had the opportunity to move to the third city (job for me, grad school for her) so it wasn't like we would be moving solely for each other. It's an odd situation, I know. that is a problem. you are lovers with a future or no. women are not friends.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 She has a boyfriend and knows she shouldn't be talking to you about your feelings or plans to move. My guess is her boyfriend saw the messages and wasn't pleased, so she over-compensated (to appease him) by being nasty to you. I'd forget about her.
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