dklaw Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 We have only been dating for just shy of 10 months. In May she was raped and the relationship has gone hill from there. I care about her, I do. I don't think I would still be with her if she weren't pregnant. We had unprotected sex close to when she was raped and I don't know if that's my kid or not. I feel like I can't leave her because of it. She is 22 weeks I think and she had a ultrasound yesterday. They told her the gender even though she told them not to. She wants to give the baby away for adoption, regardless of whose it is. I support that, I don't want to be a dad right now. We're both mid-20's and not ready. She doesn't want to know whose it is and didn't want to know the gender, says it's easier that way. She has chosen a family for the baby, though she hasn't told them a for sure yes. Since finding out that she is having a daughter she is having a very hard time, on top of the hard time she is already having. We have only been dating 10 months, she was raped early on and I don't know how to help her. I know her but don't feel like I know her enough to know how to help her. Her support system doesn't like me because they think I should be pushing to keep the baby if it's mine.
kendahke Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 You have to ask her how she wishes for you to show support. It may be as simple as being a sounding board for her or it can be as complicated as going through the process of giving the baby up for adoption with her--but she's the only one who can tell you what kind of support she needs from you.
GunslingerRoland Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 So you guys are in your mid 20's and having unprotected sex, even though you weren't willing to keep a baby? Come on you guys aren't 13, actions-> consequences. You aren't really all that young, mid 20's is quite an average age for having kids really. But is the issue that you know she isn't the one, and you don't want to be burdened with the baby because of that? If so just break it off, keeping her hanging on, isn't helping support her. As for the rape, it's horrible that it happened to her, and it's horrible that, it may be the babies father, but you can't fix that, nor be responsible for it.
ChickiePops Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 is it too late to abort the fetus? Way, way too late.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Yikes. Ask what SHE needs right now. I suspect that you are planning your departure as we post. But, try to do as much as you can. Did she file a police report involving the rape?
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