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Do Opposites Have A Chance Of Working Out?


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Posted

I have heard that opposites attract is a myth. Sometimes I'm afraid because my husband and I are so different we won't work out. I mean he is not like me at all he is more concerned about others and well I have a short list of people I would take a bullet for.

 

There was this neighbor we had (before his wife threw him out) he asked my husband for money gave him a sob story which is how my husband relented. Now if it were me I'd just flat out say no and would not think twice about it.

 

He's a compassionate and I am very selfish. However our differences sort of balance us out. I can honestly say he's made me a better person in some ways. However I worry we wont last because we are so different.

Posted

I don't think opposites attract as far as people having different fundamental values. But that said, no two people are the same, and having different (or opposite) personality types in some aspects is common and hardly a death sentence to relationships.

 

I don't know much else about you and your husband but it hardly sounds like a deal breaker..

Posted

Ours is a mixed-race marriage. We are from different countries with different cultures. Our values and attitudes to most things are very different.

 

It has led to quite a lot of arguments and fights. But against that it has also kept things interesting.

 

It can be a good thing to have your deeply held views challenged from time to time. I think it would get a bit boring in some ways if we were too alike.

  • Like 1
Posted

Miss C, from reading your other posts that is not your problem.

 

Being opposite means both bring new things to the table for each other.

 

 

Opposites do attract

 

 

Marrying your twin works

 

 

And then there are times that neither works.

Posted
I have heard that opposites attract is a myth. Sometimes I'm afraid because my husband and I are so different we won't work out. I mean he is not like me at all he is more concerned about others and well I have a short list of people I would take a bullet for.

 

There was this neighbor we had (before his wife threw him out) he asked my husband for money gave him a sob story which is how my husband relented. Now if it were me I'd just flat out say no and would not think twice about it.

 

He's a compassionate and I am very selfish. However our differences sort of balance us out. I can honestly say he's made me a better person in some ways. However I worry we wont last because we are so different.

 

My husband and i are very different....he is very quiet and analytical...I am talkative and emotional. We approach things very differently.

 

I think he compliments me and I compliment him....we fit together. I think what is wonderful about our relationship is that even though we are different...we share a common goal.

 

It took me awhile to appreciate our differences...I wanted him to change....but as I grew up and matured (I was only 17 when we married)...I accepted our differences and loved him even more. I truly admire my husband and I love who he is...and I am so glad he is who he is instead of who I thought I wanted him to be.

 

I guess what I am trying to say to you is...embrace those things that are different....take the time to understand the whys....and use them to help you both become better people...which in turn makes a better couple.

 

We are coming up on our 45th anniversary and we have had our share of tough times...but we have persevered...and today we are better than ever.

 

I think if you already recognize that you have helped each other to grow...you are on the right track. You got this!

  • Like 2
Posted

I believe that opposites complement each other. An extrovert with an introvert, a spontaneous adventurer with a disciplined planner, an emotional feeler with a stoic thinker, etc. I do think that having similar views of life and goals are important, but personality traits can be quite different and still work together well if the sum of your parts is more balanced than you are individually.

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