Erik30 Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 I met this girl on a dating site about a week ago. She sent me a request and a message, I accepted. (The site works like Facebook/Tinder, you can only message your connections) She seems really into me, initiates everything, asks me a lot of questions about my life, compliments, etc. She already suggested to grab a drink, I said something like "sure lets do that soon some time." (I could tell she was strongly hinting this weekend) The thing is, I don't know if I'm physically attracted to her. Her pictures aren't really doing it for me. She's not ugly, but I'm not excited about her. She only has 2 pictures, a selfie from a side angle with bad lighting, and another one with huge sunglasses, so I feel like I don't know exactly what she looks like. Maybe it's shallow, but looks (especially face) are important to me. Plus after two/three days of generic messages she already started calling me cutie/sweetie, and using kiss emojis, which made me kinda uncomfortable since there was no basis for it in my view. I never said things like that back. Actually, it reminded me of a bpd girl I used to date a couple of years ago. It's weird because I'm not even trying. So should I just meet her and see how it goes? This would be the first time that I would go out with someone who I'm not really sure about. Usually I already know I'm attracted to the girl I'm meeting. Am I taking dating way too serious? (By the way I would never do a first meet on a Friday/ weekend)
Sunnymae Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 You may be pleasantly surprised. She may have a cute little body, and maybe she doesn't photograph well. The way you describe her, makes it sound like she's very self confident, and has a very flirtatious personality. Just b/c you meet doesn't mean you have to have sex. If you have nothing else going on, why not. I hope it works out. Keep us posted. 2
JewelD Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 I wouldn't. If you're already not vibing with her, what's the point in wasting the time and money on a date to confirm that it's not a match? I've also noticed that people who have crappy pics on OLD that don't give you a clear idea of what they look like, it's because they believe they are unattractive and don't want you to see what they look like. Whether they're actually attractive or not in person is irrelevant to me. If they believe they're so unattractive they can't post a decent picture, then I tend to believe them on that point. 4
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 I have a rule...if they don't have pics of their faces AND body, I am not interested. I once went on a date with a lady whose face was amazing, but when I met, her physcial description of herself did not match the reality. I was greatly disappointed. This after a few days conversation about how active and fit I am and how she'd love to join in. I couldn't take the chance that it was only talk, so after one date, I let her know that we likely had differeing lifestyles and that we wouldn't be a good match. But, like the previous poster said, if only a face, it doesn't hurt to just meet and see. I also discovered that people look, oftentimes, a little better in their pictures than in real life. It's all about angles, lighting, photoshop (:-)). 4
Miss Spider Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Girl really into you, laying it on thick, kissy faces and pet names after few days with no reciprocation and you're not attracted to her. Brb you go on a date with her. If there's anything here, doesn't sound like it will end well 1
salparadise Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Plus after two/three days of generic messages she already started calling me cutie/sweetie, and using kiss emojis... Are you sure she's not in Ghana or Nigeria? So should I just meet her and see how it goes? This would be the first time that I would go out with someone who I'm not really sure about. Usually I already know I'm attracted to the girl I'm meeting. Am I taking dating way too serious? (By the way I would never do a first meet on a Friday/ weekend) Sounds like you're taking it pretty seriously. But if you have more hotties than you can stand it just makes sense to be pickier about taking on new prospects I guess. What's the downside to meeting for a drink and see how it goes? 1
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 People who only post face pics on OLD are typically hiding their bodies. Ask her if she has more pics to share. If she says no, or sends you more face pics, there's your answer. 1
Author Erik30 Posted October 21, 2016 Author Posted October 21, 2016 (edited) Are you sure she's not in Ghana or Nigeria? Sounds like you're taking it pretty seriously. But if you have more hotties than you can stand it just makes sense to be pickier about taking on new prospects I guess. What's the downside to meeting for a drink and see how it goes? Yeah I'm sure she's local. (The site isn't even in English, I'm from Europe) I never multi date, but now I'm suddenly talking to six girls at the same time. Don't know how it happened, I'm not used to it. I guess the downside could be me taking one look at her when we meet and I'm already trying to figure out an exit strategy. Edited October 21, 2016 by Erik30
Author Erik30 Posted October 21, 2016 Author Posted October 21, 2016 I have a rule...if they don't have pics of their faces AND body, I am not interested. I once went on a date with a lady whose face was amazing, but when I met, her physcial description of herself did not match the reality. I was greatly disappointed. This after a few days conversation about how active and fit I am and how she'd love to join in. I couldn't take the chance that it was only talk, so after one date, I let her know that we likely had differeing lifestyles and that we wouldn't be a good match. But, like the previous poster said, if only a face, it doesn't hurt to just meet and see. I also discovered that people look, oftentimes, a little better in their pictures than in real life. It's all about angles, lighting, photoshop (:-)). Well I'm not gonna lie, body matters also but she doesn't have to be perfect of course. What happened to you is pretty much what I'm worried about.
Author Erik30 Posted October 21, 2016 Author Posted October 21, 2016 People who only post face pics on OLD are typically hiding their bodies. Ask her if she has more pics to share. If she says no, or sends you more face pics, there's your answer. That's what I was thinking. I'm trying to think of a way to ask for more pictures but wouldn't offend her. Maybe I'll add her on Facebook
eightytwenty Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 I only post face and uppers... I'm not going to be a swimsuit model but I am not photogenic at all. I would go just to see. You never know. I rather go out and do something then think about the what if's... 1
kmack513 Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Girls love taking photos, ask her for some more. Or hookup on skype or something like that. Grainy photos, not a good sign. 2
smackie9 Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 If it were me I wouldn't consider meeting anyone without skyping first and only if they have things in common as well....just basing it on their enthusiasm won't cut it. As for photos, no sunglasses, no above shots, must have one with them smiling (check out teeth) full body shot. No one is asking for a swim suit photo..... 1
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 That's what I was thinking. I'm trying to think of a way to ask for more pictures but wouldn't offend her. Maybe I'll add her on Facebook I'm on OLD as well, provided you are talking to her via the site still and haven't progressed to phone chats or texts (which that would make it harder to go back and ask) it's still fair game. If something isn't sitting right with me and I need to see more, I flat out ask. Was talking to one guy who only had one pic up. He was very cute in the ONE pic but before we proceeded with more chat I asked if he had more pics to share since I have a few (full body and one half body close face) he wanted to send them via text or email so byeeeeee to that. If you are going to go online to look for romance and can't be bothered to upload pics so potential suitors can see you, or you don't want to show too much, you're either cat fishing or not serious. Either way I really don't care to take that chance on what's "behind door #3" No matter how hot he looked in ONE pic. Ask her there's nothing wrong with that, she pursued you so she has to convince you to meet her. Don't be shy. 1
Author Erik30 Posted October 27, 2016 Author Posted October 27, 2016 *Update... So I ended up thinking **** it why not, and suggested two possible days to hang out, Tuesday or Wednesday. It took her about a week to reply, today actually, so we're already past that (You get notifications on your phone plus email, so it's not like she didn't know I sent her a message) It seems a bit strange since she was the one who brought it up... The funny thing is, I didn't care. I haven't even read her reply yet. I would've been fine if she never replied, which probably says a lot.
Larryville Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 Are you sure she's not in Ghana or Nigeria? Oh man Sal, that is so true. LOL! I have a rule...if they don't have pics of their faces AND body, I am not interested Absolutely… mainly because of what J said: I've also noticed that people who have crappy pics on OLD that don't give you a clear idea of what they look like, it's because they believe they are unattractive and don't want you to see what they look like. At least for women, if they are attractive, stylish, confident and most of all BEING SERIOUS ABOUT ACTUALLY MEETING SOMEONE as opposed to using OLD sites more an “entertainment.” Like Smack said, WTF would you wear sunglasses or having a profile shot from a mile away. I don't know if I'm physically attracted to her The profile pic should click for you. In an era where you can now take amazing pics with your phone these days to have a jacked up profile pic is a major red flag. Saw your update… Go back to Sal’s comment. When women are unusually forward calling you pet names when they don’t know you is usually is a scammer. 1
Miss Peach Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 If you're not feeling it then don't date her. There's nothing that says you have to. As for pics, I feel this is one of the worst things people can do on OLD IMO. No one wants the date to go over badly due to misrepresentations. I feel everyone should have a head shot and a body shot at the very least. 1
No_Go Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 I don't see what you'll have to lose. Instead of dragging in over messages, just go out for coffee or drinks, see are you attracted to her in person and go from there. There are no obligations whatsoever after one date, successful or not. At very worst, you'd lose an hour or two with someone that you don't like. At very best you'd have a new girlfriend. 1
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 *Update... So I ended up thinking **** it why not, and suggested two possible days to hang out, Tuesday or Wednesday. It took her about a week to reply, today actually, so we're already past that (You get notifications on your phone plus email, so it's not like she didn't know I sent her a message) It seems a bit strange since she was the one who brought it up... The funny thing is, I didn't care. I haven't even read her reply yet. I would've been fine if she never replied, which probably says a lot. Sounds like she lost interest because you deliberated and took too long to respond/ask her out. Like the cliche goes, it was meant to be this way. You can never be too sure online but even after OLD being around for as long as it has been people still think "so what if I catfish them just a tad, once we meet in person I can wow them with my personality" doesn't work that way for the mere fact the other person feels deceived. Not a good place to start. A lot of guys claim they don't have a lot of pictures. "That thing in your hand, the one you are using to send me your message..Ya, that one... it also takes pictures!" Get outta here with "I don't have a lot of pictures" 2
Author Erik30 Posted October 27, 2016 Author Posted October 27, 2016 Thanks for the replies. I asked her to meet the day after she first brought it up, that's not too bad I think. (We only exchanged like 2 messages before that so it wasn't a long conversation) Who knows, maybe she was seeing some guy, and that's why I didn't hear from her. I think her taking a week to reply, so missing the possible dates I suggested, killed any slight interest I might have had. It usually bothers me a lot when girls I'm dating, or am trying to date, take their time with texting me back, but with her I didn't seem to care at all...
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 27, 2016 Posted October 27, 2016 Oh I'm sorry, it was hard to tell the timelines of when you asked her out. If you asked her the day after then sounds like she prob moved on to her new prey. Glad it didn't affect you much.
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