Some insight

[Lovestinks12]

Hey guys, I need some input

 

Alittle about myself: I suffered an injury that was pretty bad and almost lost my life from it. Anyway the injury left some residual damage and as a result, have a slight limp. Some people say they can hardly tell, but some days my limp is worse than others. I'm semi healthy and workout and have put on quit a bit of muscle. So what I;m trying to say is, despite certain limitations of the injury, I still take care of myself and put in a great deal of effort.

 

I've dated after my injury, but that was through meeting people through friends. I was in a 4 year relationship prior, but its been over a year so I'm over it now and looking to experience someone new. Things are a bit different now though. I am a little bit older and alot of my friends kind of settled down or don't really have a circle of girlfriends. So I have been trying online dating. I've noticed its hard to meet girls on tinder or whatever and that most people are a bit superficial too. Due to this superficial presence, I feel hesitant to share my experience on what happened to me and rather meet up with the girl and if the conversation arises, I'll share my story. My friends say I should play the sympathy card because girls like that. I don't think thats very true though haha. I think since tinder is superficial then most girls would't be keen on damage goods.I also have semi tried meeting people at bars, but noticed it isn't the ideal place. so basically I'm in a rut with the dating scene. I don't know what direction to go.

 

What do you guys think I should do?

I'm open to all suggestions and advice.

[kendahke]

Don't play the sympathy card outright. On the first meeting, chances are they won't notice, so do as you say in your post about keeping it to yourself until the subject arises.

 

Depending upon your age, it's hard to say how it will be taken. There are young ladies out there who wouldn't have any problem with your limp, but be aware that there are young ladies out there who are that superficial that they'd think the world was against them for placing you in their path. Work on being able to quickly discern the difference between the two so you're not wasting your time with those who'd turn up their nose.

 

Don't look upon yourself as damaged goods. You aren't damaged. You lived through something that had the potential to take your life. Good on you. There is nothing about the way you treat others that was impacted by your accident.

 

As far as getting out of the dating rut--there's a rut everywhere. I hear younger co-workers lamenting on this very thing. Perhaps instead of doing the usual dating thing, immerse yourself into something that feeds your life's passion. When you take on direction with pursuing your passion, you're doing something positive for yourself--and you'd be surprised how many people will take notice and want to be a part of your positive energy.

Edited October 20, 2016 by kendahke

[Gr8fuln2020]

I wouldn't play the sympathy card at all. You should work on your selling points and move from there. Let the topic of your injury come organically. Try not to date ladies who may expect something much more physically demanding. It's those (and the more shallow types) that will less likely date you.

 

Only a foolish type of person would fall for the sympathy ploy. You'll also find, after that flow of sympathy eventually becomes reality, that they won't be influenced by it anymore, so better to go authentic from the start.

[leogirl876]

Whatever you do, DO NOT play the sympathy card!!! That's the biggest turn off for anyone. People are attracted to strength and confidence. When the topic does come up, you could lightly say what happened, but how you've overcome it and it's made you a stronger person. But don't expect sympathy, from anyone, that'll make people run.

[Lovestinks12]

I knew it was a bad idea haha. I never used it anyway and was never going to, but thanks for the feedback guys