Hellscythe94 Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 Hi, So the girl that I like was in a long distance relationship for 2 years with some *******. They were supposed to move in together, she was planning the future life with him and all etc. But one day he just told her that he didn't love her anymore. And like 2 days later he had a new girl, which suggests that he was cheating on her for some time... Now that was 4 months ago. I met her like 2 months ago, we "clicked" and at one party kissed and ended up in bed. Next day she said that it was one night thing only as we live quite far apart from each other. But I fought hard and met her numerous times, despite the distance, we ended up kissing and/or getting in bed every time. Now we're messaging each other every day and almost every night we talk through the phone till like 2 am. I really like her, you can say that I love her yesterday we talked on the phone and the love topic was brought up. She said that I'm like the ONE person that she truly trusts and she likes me very much, and at one point she asked me if I loved her, and I said that I do. She started crying, saying the she feels happy that I told her that but she can't have feeling for me back because she's convinced that in the future I will hurt her or turn away form her like that ******* did... So what am I supposed to do? I really love her I want her to be happy I want us to be together to make her laugh to make her forget about the past, but she's consciously blocking the fact that she could love me back due to her past experiences... The one thing that I know is that I won't give up, I will fight. I never met anyone like her and probably never will.
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 The problem is simple. She is fresh out of a relationship, she's hurting, she has emotional baggage that she has not ironed out yet and now she's getting caught up in a new romance and cannot allow herself to fall into something new because she hasn't processed and dealt with her past relationship. I think if this doesn't stop in its tracks soon then you're going to end up being hurt because until she deals with her problems you two cannot move forward together and my worry for you is you have fallen too fast, too quickly and are setting yourself up for a fall. I think it's best if you take a step back, allow her to deal with things and see where things head in the future. 4
kgal785 Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Hi Hellscythe94, I’m sorry you are having to deal with this complicated situation. It seems as though the girl you are interested is still struggling with the betrayal from her most recent relationship, with it being so recent she may need the extra time to heal from this painful situation. Being a friend to her during her healing process may help her get through this time and reminder her that you truly care about her. Patience is key, I know that can be difficult when you really care about someone, but she might need to heal from this past painful experience before she can move forward. Letting her know that you care about her and her feelings but you are not going to pressure her for something more than friendship may provide her with the comfort that she needs and then when the time is right for both of you, she may be able move forward with your relationship. I hope you gain some clarity on how to handle this situation.
smackie9 Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Dude you are just a rebound.......you are the one that's going to get hurt not her. 1
basil67 Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 It's unfortunate that you didn't respect her comments about her not being available when you first hooked up. But you chose to fight for her....so ultimately, you're the master of your own problems. When someone tells you where they are at, believe them.
Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 This isn't going to end well for you, she doesn't want a relationship w/you. I learned my lesson the hard way after going after a guy who wasn't over his ex. Its on him as well though because he shouldn't have lead me on in the 1st place (he knew I was looking for a serious relationship). Cut your losses and leave, you do not want an emotional roller coaster because she will put you on one. If she truly cared about you, she would be willing to take the risk cause you are taking a risk as well.
Gary335 Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Just want to say, I have a thread on this forum very much like yours. If you want to see what happens when you try to get into a relationship with a girl who has emotional baggage, give it a read. I would highly suggest you move on now, before you get to the point where I am. It's ugly and a shame. As much as we want to believe otherwise, they will not change their minds. She is not ready, and that's that.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Hi, So the girl that I like was in a long distance relationship for 2 years with some *******. They were supposed to move in together, she was planning the future life with him and all etc. But one day he just told her that he didn't love her anymore. And like 2 days later he had a new girl, which suggests that he was cheating on her for some time... Now that was 4 months ago. I met her like 2 months ago, we "clicked" and at one party kissed and ended up in bed. Next day she said that it was one night thing only as we live quite far apart from each other. But I fought hard and met her numerous times, despite the distance, we ended up kissing and/or getting in bed every time. Now we're messaging each other every day and almost every night we talk through the phone till like 2 am. I really like her, you can say that I love her yesterday we talked on the phone and the love topic was brought up. She said that I'm like the ONE person that she truly trusts and she likes me very much, and at one point she asked me if I loved her, and I said that I do. She started crying, saying the she feels happy that I told her that but she can't have feeling for me back because she's convinced that in the future I will hurt her or turn away form her like that ******* did... So what am I supposed to do? I really love her I want her to be happy I want us to be together to make her laugh to make her forget about the past, but she's consciously blocking the fact that she could love me back due to her past experiences... The one thing that I know is that I won't give up, I will fight. I never met anyone like her and probably never will. She got into another relationship WAY TOO soon! You were/are a rebound. Fight all you want, but it's dangerous to get into a relationship with someone like her.
hew Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 Hey, So I know a bunch of people kind of already said this and its not what you want to hear, but its true, move on. In the end, its not fair to you, it's not what you deserve and you will just end up hurt. Its hard because you really love her and care about her, and its not that she doesn't care about you its just a tough time in her life and she is trying to find comfort. You will feel tremendously better once you move forward.
fromheart Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 You can never fight for girls to want you, that's exists only in the movies. The test is, how much self respect do you have? When a woman tells you she had sex for you just for sex, if you have emotional feelings for her that's quite a harsh blow. And if she knows you had feelings for her, that's pretty harsh of her. Walk away and don't look back at that point. Inevitably she has you telling her that she loves you, which comforts her, but then tells you she doesn't feel the same way. Again, walk away and don't look back. She hasn't dealt with her pain, and someone like that will only cause pain.
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